[Laika]: 661.Contest Entries.FTLOL.Fight for freedom

"Dani, please." Anrijis' voice made Daniels shiver. "Don't look at me like that."

Daniels shook his head, his gray eyes filled with silent submissive sadness. "Like what, Anri?" His own voice shivered, limped from his quivering lips. Dani lay his fingertips on the sun warmed table surface, seeking some solace from the wood, something permanent to lean against.

Anrijis bit his lip and turned his eyes away. "Like you look at a dying man. I'm not dead yet." Dani could hear the poorly hidden anger in the tone of his voice. That anger wasn't intended for him but for the circumstances, the situation itself. Dani knew perfectly well that Anri hated conflicts like this with a passion.

"But you will be if you go!" he snapped, turning his back. "Why, Anri? Please, explain it so that I can understand and accept and join the other war widows with their silent serenity that comes from knowing your man is doing something for the greater good." Dani felt sick. Every fiber of his being wanted to scream and perform random acts of violence on anything he could reach; but he couldn't let Anri leave with that kind of a memory. It was way too likely that it'd be Anri's last memory of him. The media kept telling that the war was almost over and that "we" were winning, that it'd be only a matter of days. But the days turned into weeks and into months and still the same news kept being broadcasted, still more and more men left their homes to never return.

Anrijis sighed and wrapped his arms around Dani's shoulders. Dani wanted to step away but couldn't. He only stood there, shivering. "My love. If you haven't understood it by now, you never will. It's my calling, it's what I have to do. It's not a choice. It's..it's what I believe in."

Now Dani found the strength to step away. "You believe in death and destruction?" Dani turned around and looked at his lover, his eyes filled with coldness and hatred. "You can't seriously be telling me that. I know you better."

"Do you, Dani?" Anri sighed, rubbing his eyes. No tears, just exhaustion. "You're saying you know me and then you say I don't believe what I do. It's contradicting, kitten."

"I'm not your kitten," Dani hissed, stepping further away from his lover. "Fine! You go save the world and get yourself killed. I'll sit here and cry my eyes out and won't care the slightest bit if your body will never be found." The last part was an obvious lie. Except for the part that the body would most likely not be found nor really looked for, either. The government needed its resources elsewhere. The years of warfare had taken their toll.

Anri grabbed Daniels' elbow, firmly. "Listen to me, Daniels Vertanjis, listen real good." He spoke silently, emphasizing ever single word he said. "I love you more than anything ever created. But if I don't go, I'll violate not only the law but everything I believe in. This war is not pointless, as you claim, and it's not a waste or for naught if it takes my life while I'm out there defending our home and freedom."

"Freedom?" Dani laughed without any joy and yanked his arm free. "Freedom? You're calling it freedom when we must take care nobody finds out about us? That when we walk outside together we must make sure we don't walk too close to each other, that I can never take your hand or even look at you fondly when somebody might see? That's not exactly what I'd call freedom. As for our home..the war isn't even near this country we live in! You have to travel for two days straight to even get to the battlefield. How is a war we started protecting our homes?"

"It doesn't matter anymore who started and what, kitten. Now it's come down to survival and I highly doubt it that if we just stopped fighting that they would stop as well and not take vengeance."

Dani shook with rage. He felt frustrated, horrified and offended and the mixture of the emotions boiling inside him was almost too much to bear. He opened his mouth to say something when he heard the honk of the horn outside the house.

"That's my ride, kitten," Anrijis said and picked up his bag. "Please..don't hate me for this. I will come back, I promise. The war will be over soon."

Daniels couldn't say anything. He couldn't even move or breathe. All he wanted was to kiss the love of his life as he left but knew that if he did, they'd both be arrested and possibly executed. He knew he couldn't even write Anri, no letters, no cards, no anything. He could only stare blankly at the door that closed silently and made the faintest click at the end.