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2006-11-12 La Divina: *thunderous applause* 2006-11-12 Mister Saint: Thanksha sis! Gourd... who would've ever thought I'd do a serious free verse? 2006-11-18 --------: *thinks* It's Actually Not Bad, I Am Not Really A Lover Of Free Verse But That Was Quite Good. 2006-11-18 Mister Saint: ^_^ 2006-11-19 Kiddalee: Ooooh. Somebody got [Mister Saint] writing free verse. We'd better watch out, or he might start writing angst. :P 2006-11-19 Mister Saint: I might just! Except I don't feel like it, the world prohibits me, it stymies my free *faints* 2006-11-19 Kiddalee: XD LOL Good one. >.> 2006-11-19 Kiddalee: Now, about the poem itself. 2006-11-19 Mister Saint: There is no overall meaning. I have a firm belief that not every writing or cartoon or movie or what have you needs a deeper point. This one serves its own purpose, like that. It's like taking a walk, not to get somewhere, but just for walking's sake. 2006-11-19 Kiddalee: Aah. That explains it. I think I'd better write a worthy challenger, then. 2006-11-19 Mister Saint: o.O I sense a beatdown coming toward me. 2006-11-19 Kiddalee: Don't be so sure. Usually, my free verse is of a very different character from this poem. That's why I have been hesitating to choose a suitable PDA challenger from the time you called me a lollygagger until just now. This could be a real challenge for me. 2006-11-19 Mister Saint: *laughs* I didn't call you a lollygagger personally! *grins* And who said anything about poetry beatdown? I figured you'd kick my arse yourself. o.o *jests* 2006-11-19 Kiddalee: :D[Mister Saint]: 79.Challenges.
Rating: 0.70 Uploaded by: Created: 2006-11-12 08:09:53 Keywords: Genre:BiographicalFrom [La Divina]...
My Dearest Bro:
I challenge you in the poetry!
Please to be writing one free-verse poem such as in the style that I write them. It is very simple: first one must let one's mind wander and then gradually come to focus on a tangible image(s). In my "Lines Composed on San Salvador and 11th Street" I wrote about the moon and the stars and the street.
No rhyming is required!
"Punctual Spider"
Creep with me across the wall!
To wake!
To wake!
Ye hallowed halls!
The spider comes to feast.
The spider's fever dreams
come pouring through the marble arch.
Where has it gone?
And where has it been?
Do spiders know if now is then?
If not then, then when?
Is now again?
Come with me into the garden.
Dawn approaches, dawn regarding
everything that is.
As moonbeams kiss the hallowed earth
the spider comes to feast.
The spider bears the mark of Cain.
The will to kill.
For that, it's brain
was lost in thought.
Unto the gods of predilection
and the muses of detection
went the spider's brain.
Poof, like that,
and down the drain.
So creep with me across the wall.
The spider.
He has been and gone.
And though he gave his empty brain
he wins the fight.
He wins the day.
The spider, in secret, has fled away.
Wonderful, bro! I loves how you broke up the lines and the mood of the poem, very bedtime-storyi
I Am A Big Fan Of The Unmethodical Description.
Admeration My Fellow Author
I really love the whimsical line arrangements. However, I think this might make the narrative aspect of it a little hard for me to understand. After reading it over a few times, I'm beginning to figure it out.
Still, I don't understand the overall meaning. Is it centred around the second last verse? If that is so, is there a need for so many lines beforehand? Or could the poem be more condensed?
Anyways, the wording also gives the poem a whimsical feel. Not to mention that all the iambs help by making it bounce along in a bubbly pace.
Fun stuff. Keep going.
Well, the arena's all about good natured competition. If it gets you to write, then we both win. ^^