[Metal Tsubasa]: 95.Welcome to the Night.Moving in and Moving On

Once back in the city Amen thought that Luke would take him home. Unfortunately it wasn’t the home Amen thought. Once again standing inside Luke’s apartment, he looked around at the small space. Casca was following Luke around, hoping to get fed and maybe a cuddle or two. Amen smiled at the sight. Sitting on the couch he remembered the first kiss that he gave to the shorter man, after they had cleaned up after the small heard had come calling. He frowned. “Luke, how would you feel about moving in with me?” He called. “Casca would have a lot more room to… do what ever it is that cats do.” Amen looked almost nervous. There were other seasons that he wanted Luke to move in with him but he tried to play it off as something… he really didn’t know what.
The question really took Luke off guard. True, the two of them had been together for a little while now and Luke had almost expected it, but he hadn’t planned on it being so soon. So the DJ stood quiet for quite sometime, picking up Casca in the process to give her a good rub on the back of her head and around the ears. He walked around for a moment, just to get a feel for his old place again, even though he had only been gone a day, still there was no response.
That was a risk that Luke wasn’t sure he was willing to take. It meant leaving the safety of his own apartment behind to live without any back up plan. Amen was different, Luke had decided that the moment he had met the taller blond man, but how different? Giving up on his little safe house worried Luke and he wasn’t about to hide that from Amen. So finally, the DJ turned to look at Amen as he set Casca back down. Nonetheless, his eyes turned downward, he didn’t want to disappoint his lover, not after everything that had happened.
“I don’t know Amen…” he said quietly, though he had hoped it would come out slightly more confidant. “Packing is never fun, I know.”
Amen smiled as he stood from the couch walking over to where Luke stood. Casca scampered away from the two and perched herself on the sofa arm to watch as Amen put his hand on Luke’s hip and pulled his close. “Please.” Amen’s breath barley touched Luke’s ear as the word drifted from his mouth. A gentle bite was added as Amen pulled their hips together. It was only when Amen tried to hold Luke’s head that he remembered his cast. Cursing himself he smiled. “How about this? You have till I get this damn thing off to decide. If I get it off and you aren’t living with me I won’t ask again. It’ll be about another 5 weeks. That’s over a month. You think you can decide by then?” Pulling their faces together he gave Luke a long soft kiss.
It didn’t take much to get an, “Okay…” out of Luke’s mouth, but only after he pulled away from Amen slightly to say it. Amen knew how to push all of Luke’s buttons, how to get the DJ to do exactly what he wanted. It was never bad, at least not to Luke so far, but he now somewhat felt that he was a record on his own turntables, being pushed and pulled just the right way to hit the right pace. Nonetheless, the idea didn’t bother him, if anything it made him somewhat pleased. He wasn’t like that, when he wanted something he demanded it, only poking and prodding to warp Luke’s emotions into a tangled mess that was almost unmanageable.
So he had five weeks. Five weeks to leave his past behind, five weeks to give up on his insecurities, five weeks figuring out if Amen was stable enough to not be him. The idea made Luke a little nervous, but he hid that as he went back to Amen’s lips for another kiss, holding the other mans face in his hands.
Amen loved the way Luke tasted as he dipped his tongue in, wanting to taste more. The impending moan came like it was ripped from his throat. He body was heating up and all it wanted was to be connected with the other. Amen tugged slightly on the back of Luke’s shirt not really to get it off but more to lead him to the bedroom behind them.
Finally reaching the desired location he broke the kiss, panting. Amen guided Luke’s arms up, and over his head, as he pushed his shirt with them. He removed his own shirt before guiding Luke to the mattress and kneeling on either side of Luke’s hips, effectively pinning him down. He couldn’t resist the man’s red lips anymore and leaned in for another taste.
There he went again; pushing all those buttons like Luke was an open book. Every sound, every motion that Amen sent in his direction heated his body with lust for the other pressing against it. With Amen’s moan, he moaned, with a hint towards another location, Luke moved as if a puppet on strings.
Sometimes Luke hated when his instinctual need took over, it was as if someone else had taken control of his body and he had no way of fighting back. Just as it had happened before in Voda, instinct could certainly be harmful. So when Amen pinned him to the bed, and Luke was about to grab at Amen, he stopped himself, sitting upright without pushing Amen off of him.
“Kn-knife…” Luke stated quietly as he turned his head to the side to keep from looking into those eyes. “I… I can’t do this right now.” Nonetheless, he turned and gave a quick smile as if to explain to the blond that it wasn’t worth worrying about, though saying their ‘safe word’ sounded rather awkward to him. “I’m sorry.”
Amen looked down at the man beneath him, like a dog looks at a whistle. He sighed, rolled to the side, and flopping down next to Luke. “Sorry for what?” Sorry for what!?! His brain and his dick screamed at him. “Luke? What’s wrong baby?” Amen put his arm around Luke’s shoulders and hugged him close. When his fading blue bangs fell into his face. He brushed them aside. Leaning back he pulled Luke with him. “We don’t have to do anything right now. I just want to be near you right now.” Amen knew that the next few months were going to be rough and he wanted to try to make up for them now.
Baby…? The idea made Luke’s face turn bright red. He had never called Luke that, no one ever had… well, excluding his screaming, and squealing fan club, but they never counted for much of anything really.
Luke stayed silent as he took Amen’s hand in his own while the other man held him close on the bed. To hear that Amen wasn’t demanding anything made Luke feel as if there was more behind the statement, being that he had never heard someone say that to him either. So for now, Luke just smiled to himself, keeping himself as close to Amen as possible without appearing to want more.

Bed room… bath room… Luke went over the mental checklist while he looked over the small heap of boxes that had now found themselves on Amen’s floor, …Kitchen… living room... Everything but a few boxes had been moved in by this point and it had taken almost the entire five weeks to get Luke to the point where he would even think of moving in with Amen. So now, here he was, still wondering if he had made the right choice.
Casca was roaming about somewhere in the apartment, being that Luke wasn’t about to leave her as the last thing to come out of his old place. Nonetheless, she was one of the last, being that there wasn’t much to move out of Luke’s apartment to begin with.
“Damn this is a pain,” Luke grumbled as he wiped his forehead with an already dirty hand, which made a slightly grey spot on his brow. “I don’t even have all that much and I’m drained.” The DJ shook his head and looked around for a moment. So this would be his home from now on. But how long would that last?
Amen came in behind his lover, carrying a box. “I’m glad you made up your mind.” Amen saw the smudge on the beautiful face and giggled at the sight. Luke was like a kid at times and Amen like a mother would always be there kissing the scrapped knee or washing his face. In this case it was the latter. He put the box down in the kitchen and grabbed a wet wash cloth before kissing Luke and whipping the smudge at the same time. “You ready to yet? My appointment’s at 3 ‘o clock.” He indicated at his cast. “Oh before I forget.” He grabbed the permanent marker handing it to Luke. “Sign it here.” He pointed along the outside of his wrist, the only spot left on the cast along the two edges. Amen moved behind the shorter man holding the cast over his shoulder, so signing would be easer. It also gave perfect access to Luke’s neck on the other side, which Amen took the opportunity to kiss.
A bright smile crossed Luke’s face as he felt Amen’s lips gently touching his neck. “I can’t sign it if you keep doing that,” he said pleasantly before giving a gentle peck on Amen’s cheek. Nonetheless, he took the pen and began to write his name right where Amen had asked. His writing was very sloppy normally, but being an almost-famous-DJ and having a rather large fan club had taught him to create a whimsical signature that incorporated a fancy heart for the ‘a’ in his last name, which was surrounded by loops and curves that showed like a tattoo on Amen’s cast.
“Sure you want that there?” Luke questioned with a smile as he turned around to look up into his lovers face. “Who knows, that might be worth a lot someday.” But it was a silly joke on Luke’s part, even when he secretly hoped the joke would one day come true.
Five weeks, it was now five weeks to the day; Luke knew; he had counted down the days before in hesitance. Now however, the countdown was over and his apartment was an empty room, sort of like Luke’s memories of Amen’s addiction. Whether he had wanted to or not, Luke had neglected the ordeal and now was simply living his life as he had before, or at least it looked that way. Perhaps something inside him knew better, but wouldn’t tell.
“Should we get going then?” Luke asked before giving Amen a kiss on his free hand.
Amen smiled at the joke. “You will make it big. One day. But for now, its worth more to me right were it is.” He kissed Luke once more before turning back out the door.
The hospital wasn’t far and it didn’t take long before they were in the doctor’s office staring at the cast saw and waiting. “Good afternoon, Mr. Goldensun.” He looked down at the x-ray held in his hand and then at the couple. “It looks like you’re fully healed. I’m sure you’re ready for that to come off.” Amen just nodded and held Luke’s hand. He watched as the saw started and then cut through the strategically placed names, first Tasha, then Mike, and the waitress from Gabe’s. Then the other side which held only two, Becky and Luke’s. Amen smiled even brighter as Luke’s name was cut in half. “I see you know the myth about cutting the names on a cast.”
Amen nodded again and replied. “I had plenty of casts when I was younger. So yeah I know it very well.” Finished Amen collected his cast and left, stopping at the front desk to pay for the visit and then heading home. He turned to Luke still grinning. “What do you say we celebrate?”
Luke didn’t know the myth, but he could only imagine what cutting through a name could mean, and to him, it wasn’t good. Nonetheless, Amen seemed pleased with it and the DJ hoped that it was something better than what he himself thought.
The grin on Amen’s face slowly turned one up on Luke’s though he still appeared rather confused by everything. He took Amen’s arm and looked it over as they walked, examining it like an intern in a hospital. “It’s good that’s off,” he commented as he kissed the other mans hand.
With Amen’s question Luke seemed to ponder the meanings of ‘celebrate’, but ignored the most blatant one. He hugged Amen tightly to him and only let him go when asking, “Sounds good, what do you have in mind.” Then he paused, patting his toned stomach gingerly. “Actually, I’m kind a hungry…”
“…” Before he could say anything his phone in his back pocket started to ring. “Hello… Oh hey guys. Yeah...? Okay, yeah. We’ll meet you there. Luke said he was hungry anyway.” Closing his phone he grabbed Luke’s hand and started walking faster toward Gabe’s dinner.
As they walked in the door Amen was almost knocked over by the little Becky as she glomped him. But it wasn’t all physical; questions came flying at him left and right. He had to cover her mouth to stop them. “Yes it’s off. Yes I’m fine. Luke’s good to. We are going to eat with you. How are you, and are you gonna show us where you guys are sitting?”
When he uncovered her mouth things came out at a slower pace. “I’m good so is every one else. We’re sitting over there.” She pointed before skipping over and scooting in next to Mike and Tasha, giving Luke and Amen a side of the booth to themselves.
The little ball of energy was almost too much for Luke. He got a little jealous when she hugged Amen, but kept it to himself, smiling pleasantly at Becky. “Nice to see you again,” he said with a slight bow.
He then found himself sitting at a table with three people he didn’t know. Becky he had only met once, but the other two he didn’t know. They looked like they had possibly been at the Wolf at one point, but Luke hadn’t been there in over a month now and he couldn’t be sure.
“Hey,” Luke said quietly as he sat close to Amen.
As always, around people he didn’t know, Luke was quiet and shy, as if afraid that he would somehow mess everything up. So he sat very still and said nothing, unless someone addressed him.
Mike sat with the girls on either side of him and stared at Luke. While Amen and voluptuous Tasha talked, Mike just stared. He was a bigger man and very proud of his body by the way he sat. His arms were behind each of the girls and all he did was stair. Hearing a break in the chatter he finally spoke; his voice a deep baritone. “You have your self a quiet one here Amen. I bet he’s not so quiet in bed though.” He looked back at Luke with a raised eye brow.
Amen turned red as he grabbed Luke around the neck with his arm, hugging him close. “Not that you’re ever going to find out.” Amen spit back at the bigger man. “Oh how are things going at the Wolf? I haven’t heard anything since I …left.”
All three looked at one another before looking at the table. “The Wolf isn’t up anymore. It was raided about three days ago. Bruce and Aaron were arrested and are now out on bail. Katrina’s dead, she killed herself, or that’s what Bruce told us… and um… you to have to be careful. He’s hunting everyone down, trying to find who ratted him out. Just be on your guard.” Mike was the one who gave all the news and Becky and Tasha sat in silence.
Amen just sat there stunned. He didn’t know who would tell on the big boss, but whoever it was had guts, that was for sure.
Luke looked uncomfortably at Amen as he found the taller man’s arm around his neck, but made no attempt to argue Mikes statement. However, with what he heard about Club Wolf, Luke felt rather edgy. It was mostly because of Aaron, who Luke remembered clearly breaking his arm.
Should have broken his neck… Luke thought as his eyes feel on his scarred knuckles, which were turning white as the DJ clenched his fists.
“Well at least that place is gone,” Luke said aloud, with a look of contentment. “Bruce and Aaron should be easy to handle.”
Luke knew he was lying, especially after everything that Amen had told him. Nonetheless, he remained calm and collected on the outside while his mind worried over the idea of Aaron or Bruce coming after Amen.
Mike was shocked till he remembered that Luke really didn’t know what Bruce was capable of and gave Amen a hard look. “Just watch out will you.” Amen nodded as the waitress came to take there orders. That was when the table turned light hearted again.
Everything with the waitress was first names and “the usual”. She even sat at the table with them squeezing in beside Luke introducing her self as Margi. The woman was definitely city born and raised, with a fun but stern attitude. The type that said “Don’t fuck with me or I’ll kick your ass.” Finally she left to place their orders but the mood stayed the same. With their drinks and Amen’s cherry shake the sex jokes began. Things of cherries and it being so thick you couldn’t suck it through the straw.
Amen enjoyed the meal, but it wasn’t the celebrating that he had in mind. “Sorry to eat and run, but we have to unpack Luke.” As Amen pushed Luke out of the booth his hand slid down his back to his butt, giving it a rub. Tasha missed nothing as everyone said good bye and she just told them to have fun.
The whole time Luke sat rather quiet. Jokes passed between Amen and his friends appeared to go right over Luke’s head, though in actuality he merely didn’t want to respond. There were far too many people he didn’t know well enough to converse with. Luke was rather anxious as he sat there and quickly moved with Amen as he felt the other man’s hand on his back side. As he stood, the DJ gave a quick bow to the other at the table with a, “Thank you very much for your company,” which sounded very polite and awkward coming from Luke.
With that he walked towards the door, clutching to Amen’s arm like his life depended on it.
Amen looked at the man clinging to his arm on the way out the door. “Thank you very much for your company? What the hell? What are you, a debutant?” Amen leaned down and kissed Luke on the forehead. “But I love you anyway.”
They barley made it into the elevator before Amen had Luke against the wall with a nice game of tonsil hockey going. Pinning his hands to the side Amen shoved his leg between Luke’s thighs and pressed their hips together. “Mmmmn… Luke I need you.” Amen breathed into his ear before sucking on his earlobe. Moving his way down and sucked on the base of Luke’s neck until it looked as if all the blood had rushed there. Licking it he moved back to Luke’s mouth. “Please don’t pull away tonight. I want you more then anything right now so please don’t.” Amen begged before pressing their bodies as close at they could get.
“I can’t help it…” Luke said as he blushed at Amen’s kiss.
It took a little while for Luke to get out of being timid, but he didn’t have much of a choice when Amen pinned him in the elevator. It sent chills up his spine as Amen forcefully pushed himself against him. Luke’s back arched as he felt Amen breathing gently on his ear, but it took the taller man sucking on his neck to release a light moan. Luke could feel his lover’s hot breath as his tongue ran up from Luke’s neck.
With Amen’s plea, it took very little to persuade Luke. The two of them hadn’t really had much time for anything of the sort since Luke had begun to move in and even before then, after coming back from Voda, everything that had happened had made him hesitant. It was understandable that Amen would be anxious and Luke was just the same.
“I won’t…” said Luke, grabbing at Amen’s face to pull Amen’s kiss deeper.
The ding of the elevator was slightly annoying, as it reached its destination. Amen pulled away with a slight grown and fumbled with the keys, trying to open the door. Almost dragging Luke in with him he kicked boxes out of the way, as Amen pulled Luke to him for another bruising kiss.
Tripping over more boxes, they finally got to the bedroom. Slow down Amen. You’re not in a race. Amen’s mind told him as he started to undress them both with frustration. Upon seeing Luke in his full glory though ...Never mind. Once both men were totally divested of their garments, Amen pushed Luke to the bed, straddling his hips in the same way he did before. Grabbing Luke’s hands he pinned them as well over Luke’s head, leaning down so they were nose to nose. “No pulling away, just trust me. I won’t let anything get out of hand.” Pulling away he grabbed a few things out of his top drawer again. Amen knowing how much it was going to hurt and how long Luke would take with the task, he stretched himself.
Luke’s mind was rather fuzzy by the time the elevator door opened; he hardly even realized that Amen had pulled him into the apartment. The jingling of keys, the moving of boxes, it all seemed to be blocked out of Luke’s mind until he hit the bed. He felt Amen’s breath on his face and that gentle, yet powerful voice that slipped into his ears. He wouldn’t pull away; Luke knew that he wouldn’t, not this time. Nonetheless, he had to contain himself. Things couldn’t go as they had gone that other time; Luke didn’t want to hurt Amen again. It took everything in his power to keep from forcing himself into Amen right away; his muscles tensing as they fought against each other, but his mind remained in control. Pull away? Luke thought as he looked into his lovers eyes. That‘s not going to happen. It was as if he was laughing at himself for the thought, for a small smirk curved his lip upwards as he arched upwards, almost as though he were trying to meet Amen’s body with his own, though his hands were keeping him in place. “This really isn’t fair, you know,” Luke said as the smirk turned to a smile, his body hitting the bed again.
“All’s fair in love and war.” Amen smiled back, reciting the famous phrase. He threw his head back with a moan as he hit his own prostate. Smiling down at Luke once more his eyes shined with lust. He sighed as he pulled his fingers from himself. “I love you,” he said leaning down once more to give the other a kiss. One hand caressed Luke’s arms while the other reached over and grabbed the scarf that he had gotten out along with the other things. Amen ran it up Luke’s arms. He just let it flutter before wrapping it around Luke’s wrists. Tying the other end to his head board he sat up. “Tonight it’s my turn to have all the fun,” he said grabbing the condom and putting it on Luke. He wrapped his feet around Luke’s legs and pinned his hips down so that he couldn’t move, before Amen lined himself up and sat back pushing Luke deep into him.
He shouldn’t have been surprised, Luke knew Amen well enough to expect something, but once he had been tied to the headboard Luke almost felt a little panicked, and the smile faded slightly from his face. Amen sat up again and now he was farther from the DJ, which made Luke push upward again, though he knew that doing that wouldn’t get him any closer to his lover’s body. Now he was pinned to the bed completely and Amen had pushed himself down on Luke, causing the DJ’s back to arch again as he released a moan, which sounded almost like a cry. With Amen on top of him and no way of reaching for the other body, Luke was slightly frustrated. He looked up into Amen’s eyes and the smirk returned, but there was a hint of anger behind it. “Damn it Amen....” he said, before he pushed against his lover, “you’re getting me back for something, aren’t you.” His head dropped back again and his arms tensed with the need to hold Amen, but now all he had to hold to was the scarf that was keeping him in place.
Amen panted with the pressure that he put on himself when he took Luke all at once. Placing his hands on Luke’s chest he bent forward slightly. He winced when Luke moved but that was it. “Luke... ah... just give me... mmn... a second...” His hair had fallen out of its pony tail and was falling in his face covering his eyes. As he unwrapped his legs he let himself adjust more before he moved his hips just slightly. He moaned as he kept moving, driving Luke farther and farther into him. He arched his back giving out a louder moan. He loved the feel of Luke’s twitching muscles under his hands and stepped up the pace even more.
With Amen pushing faster against his body, Luke clenched tighter to the only thing he could. He wanted to grab Amen, to hold that heated body against his own and Luke knew he had to. As Amen continued to push, Luke moved closer to the headboard, just enough to get to the knot. With a quick motion, he untied the scarf, taking it into one hand to put it around Amen’s neck to bring the taller man down to his level. With his burst of frustration, Luke pulled Amen in for a deep, passionate kiss, slightly nibbling on his lover’s bottom lip.
Amen’s eyes were squeezed shut before he felt the soft cloth around his neck and before he knew what had happened his hands had slipped off Luke’s chest on to the bed and Luke was kissing him and teeth were on his bottom lip. The bad part was that when Luke pulled him down he missed his mark and Luke slipped from him. “God damn it Luke. I was so close too.” He collapsed down, angry and frustrated. He was rock hard and was smashed between them which didn’t help things.
Even though he was just as hard as Amen was, Luke couldn’t help but laugh slightly at the blond as he kissed him again. “You were the one that tied me up,” he said as he reached up slightly to bite Amen’s ear and then his neck, his hand reaching down to take a hold of Amen. He shifted slightly, rubbing both his hand and his body against Amen’s before turning his lips back to Amen’s ear as he whispered, “Maybe I should tie you up.” His other hand which clutched the scarf moved down Amen’s back and then to his hand.
Amen clutched the sheets and moaned deep in his throat. He loved the feel of Luke moving beneath him but he wanted more. “I don’t care… just… fuck me!” Amen shouted getting frustrated to the point where he couldn’t take it any more. He grabbed Luke’s seeking hand as he twisted the scarf around his hand, tying them together. As he pressed their lips tighter he did the same with their hips and started to rock, feverishly.
The sudden shout from Amen caused Luke to release a half shout, which had been mixed with a moan that he simply couldn’t help but discharge. With his lovers hand tight on the scarf along with his own Luke moved his to about Amen’s mid back, taking the blonde’s hand along with it. He held Amen to him tightly as the man on top of him began to rock anxiously with Luke’s hand still pinned between their two bodies. Just the two pressing against each other wasn’t enough anymore however and Luke moved himself to seat Amen on top of him again as he sat up to hold the other man closer to him. His muscles tensed and his fingers pressed hard against Amen’s back as he tried not to tear the skin with his finger nails. With his breath getting heavier and hotter the brown haired DJ dropped his head into the gentle cup between Amen’s neck and his shoulder while he began to slowly moan with every push deep into the man on top of him.
Amen winced as his arm was twisted behind his back but still he kept moving. He needed this. His body craved it. It didn’t take long for him to cum when Luke entered him again but still he went on. His body wasn’t done and so it forged forth. His panting became deeper and heaver as his back arched once again. “Ah… He moaned clinging to Luke’s shoulder, almost feeling the tiger that was inked there, prowling with every move Luke made. Moving his free hand up more Amen caressed Luke’s neck and jaw with his thumb, holding the man’s head to his neck.
Of course he would indulge Amen. He could feel the warm solution on his torso and that alone sent Luke into an instinctual craving to finish both himself and Amen off once more before dropping backwards. As he pushed deeper and deeper with every thrust, Luke couldn’t help but bite onto Amen’s shoulder, his fingers pushing harder against the taller mans back, though he tried his best not to leave any marks. The DJ’s breath was so heavy, and his heart was pounding so loud that he could feel it in his ears with every thrust. He was still holding back, trying to keep both heads thinking instead of going as wild as he had before and that alone was causing his muscles to convulse, but he ignored it as Amen’s every sensation consumed his thoughts. He could smell the sweat, feel his heart beat, his pleading, everything was just how Luke always wanted. Still, he could feel his body wanting to give and he tried his best to continue.
Amen felt Luke bite him and rolled his head to the side, exposing his neck even more. “You’re an angel, Luke… nah… You’re my fallen angel… mmn… let yourself fall farther… ahh!” Amen came for the second time and just clutched to Luke, wanting to pull the man into his body, to be a part of him. His hand clutched the scarf behind his back harder before his arms went slack and his body finally gave up on the idea of any more pleasure. “I love you,” Amen said before he collapsed against his blue eyed angel.
As he felt Amen release for the second time, Luke easily did the same and his muscles relaxed. It was only then that he took in what Amen had called him: Angel. With his lover’s body flopping against his own, the DJ held Amen close to him as he slowly dropped back against the bed; not even bothering to pull out. He simply held Amen close to him, gently running his fingers through the other man’s blond hair.
“You’re the one that made this angel fall,” Luke said quietly as he kissed Amen on the forehead before holding the other man inside his arms. “I love you too Amen and I’ll always be right here for you.” Again he kissed Amen’s brow and as he dropped his head back he could feel all his energy leaving his body as the adrenaline faded into nothing.
Luke yawned slightly as he stretched out his arms just before he rolled onto his side with the taller man’s body back in his arms. He had finally slipped out from Amen’s body and quickly discarded the condom into the waste bin. Luke felt so drained now and his lids bobbed up and down. “I have to unpack…” he groaned as he dropped his face into the pillow.
Amen pressed his head into Luke’s chest, listing more to the rumbling then the actual words. “Tomorrow,” he said curling tighter to the man. He watched as Luke’s eyes fluttered closed before his own mimicked them.
Amen woke with the sun as usual. He groaned as he stretched his tight muscles and untangled himself from Luke. It didn’t take long for him to find a pair of pants, but he also opted to go shirtless. Today was the day that he would confront Luke with his drug addiction again and he hopped that it would go better then the last time. The cravings had subsided to the once a morning that he was now taking them. As he walked down the stairs to the bathroom the shaking was starting. This morning was his last dose and his brain knew it and acted like it was the end of the world. Images of Luke flew through his mind as he emptied the small bottle into the syringe, before tying his arm and pressing the needle into the vain. “I promise you Luke. This is the last time,” he whispered as he pushed the end releasing the drug into his body. He sat there; the only thing going through his mind was the haze induced pleasure.
Since he had begun emptying out his apartment Luke had spent more time sleeping and waking in Amen’s bed and he was almost always alone. However, after a while, the DJ’s body had adjusted to getting up around the same time as Amen. Today he found himself slowly opening his eyes as the body next to him moved, nonetheless, he didn’t get up from the bed until Amen was down the stairs. Not thinking anything of it, Luke fumbled out of the bed, reaching for his glasses that had found themselves on the ground next to his side of the bed. He plodded down the stairs with a gentle scratch on his head and he began to make his way into the bathroom.
Luke wouldn’t say that he was overly surprised by what he found there, but he was upset with being right. The DJ’s blue eyes flared as he looked in on Amen, who had just finished shooting up, and then he turned on his heel, hoping that Amen hadn’t realized that he had seen it. He knew Amen was still taking them, he knew it, ever since that morning in Voda, but he had ignored it, since he hadn’t actually seen it. Now that he had seen it however, there was a horrible rage running through him and he wanted to hit something, anything. Luckily for Amen, the punching bag was in close enough range. Luke struck the bag only once and then sat himself down on the stairs.
“D-damn it Amen…” he muttered as tears found their way out onto his face. With that he ran his fingers through his own hair, pushing it back from his face before dropping it back into his palms.
Amen heard the chain on the punching bag and knew that Luke saw him. He groaned as he pulled the needle from his arm and held the spot to stop any bleeding. Out of habit he cleaned the needle and put the cap on, though he wouldn’t ever use it again. He wobbled a little as he stood, but he had to do this. Now was the best time and the only time he could do it. Grabbing all the supplies he walked into the main room, and saw Luke sitting on the stairs. “Morning glory,” he said in a timid voice. “I know you saw me, angel.” He kneeled down in front of Luke not bothering to hide the fresh mark. “Luke I love you. You know that right. And I promised some things. I keep my promises.” He lifted Luke face to look into his eyes, before taking his hand and placing the items in it. “I don’t care what you do with these now. I don’t need them. That was the last of it. I need to talk more with you. Let me know when your ok.” He got up and walked up the stairs past Luke and into the bedroom. Laying down he let the drugs finish settling in his system. The only sound in the room was that of Casca purring.
He promised not to leave again, that was all that kept Luke from running out the door. He couldn’t look at Amen, especially with him using ‘angel’ again. It stung this time, it wasn’t like the night before and now he wished he wouldn’t remember that when hearing that word. Even with Amen holding his face, Luke tried his best to avoid his lover’s gaze by tilting his eyes down towards his now empty hands. Then his eyes shot wide as Amen dropped everything into his hands. Still he wouldn’t look at Amen, but Luke’s eyes began to well up with tears and a hot sense of rage filled his muscles as he clutched those disgusting things in his hands. There was anger, but that wasn’t the only thing. He was upset at Amen for doing it one more time and he was mad at himself for not understanding any of it. In an outburst of rage Luke tightened his fists around it all, shattering the syringe in his hand, which caused the needle to stab into his thumb and almost through to the other side. Blood dripped down from his hand, but he didn’t care. He dropped everything to the floor and walked up the stairs where he found Amen laying on the bed.
Any other day, Luke would have jumped him instantly, but for now all he did was sit on the edge of the bed, trying not to explode angrily at the one person he truly cared for. Casca found her way up onto her master’s lap as he sat there quietly.
“Okay,” Luke said as calmly as he could, “let’s talk.”
Amen felt the bed shift as Luke sat on it, but he didn’t move. “Luke I’m scared,” Amen confessed. “Not of stopping, but of what I might do. I’ve seen what can happen. I don’t want to hurt you.” His eyes started to well up and his voice started to shake with each sentence. “Luke I don’t have the money to go to a rehabilitation center. I have to do this on my own… I never should have asked you to move in with me…” Amen rolled onto his side, looking away from Luke and out the window at the brick wall. It was times like now that he wished for the open spaces of the farm and the rafters of the barn, where he could just escape the world for a few hours and watch as it passed him by. “I’m scared,” he repeated, letting the tears fall. He curled around himself, not really wanting Luke to touch him but at the same time wanting comfort.
It burned deep inside to hear Amen talk like this. Clearly his drug addiction was what had hurt Luke, and the DJ was sure that nothing could be more hurtful than that. Now he had calmed down a little more and shifted farther onto the bed, sitting right next to Amen as he rolled over onto his side, which caused Casca to leap off the bed. He didn’t like how Amen regretted having him move in; not after the coxing it took to get him there. Well, he wasn’t going back now, he already had his stuff in, even though it was still boxed up, and he wasn’t about to go back miserable.
“Don’t worry too much about money,” Luke said softly. “Whatever you need, I’ll help out with.” He paused as he leaned slightly over Amen. “I hate this Amen, I really do, but whatever it takes, I’ll do it, so long as it gets you out of this.”
It was apparent that Amen wasn’t feeling very touchable at that point, but Luke had to. He turned onto his knees so he was almost right on top of Amen and pushed the taller man’s back onto the bed by forcing his shoulder down. There was clearly some anger still rumbling inside of Luke as he put his hands on either side of Amen’s head, his thumb still bleeding though Luke didn’t seem to care.
“You don’t have to be scared,” said the blue eyed DJ as he leaned in to kiss Amen, “I’m not going to leave you.” He brushed his lips gently over Amen’s then moved to kiss where he caught tears coming from the other man’s eyes. “I love you Amen, no matter how much I hate this.”
Amen looked Luke directly in the eyes even though his vision was slightly bleared by water. “Luke you don’t have to do that. I’ll try and stick with this as long as I can. This is my problem and I have to pay for it. The only thing I won’t pay is you.” Amen touched the side of Luke’s face. The kiss was just a symbol of what he wanted and needed right now. He needed his angel his guiding light. He needed the love that he knew was there. He just hoped that it would stay there… through whatever were to happen. Amen knew that Luke was pissed at him but he would quit or face loosing the man, and he couldn’t face that fact. “I need you Angel. Please help me, save me.” Amen pleaded trying to hold Luke to him. “Just hold me. That’s all I want.”
And Luke hugged the thin frame to his own. He didn’t want Amen to be like this, he wanted the Amen back that he had first met, or at least that personality, without the drug addiction. Had he known back then, Luke would have never fallen for him, but he didn’t know then and he was too far gone to simply walk away. So now he just held Amen to him, continually whispering “Don’t be scared,” in the taller man’s ear.
Amen felt calmed by the voice in his ear. Still the tears wouldn’t stop. All Amen could do was to cling to Luke, never letting go. Even as his brain and his eyes grew heavy from crying so much he still held on like Luke was a life preserver and his ship had sunk. “I love you Luke. Never leave me…” was the last thing he said before his eyes finally closed and he fell into the black of exhaustion.
“I won’t leave you,” Luke said quietly as he set Amen gently against the bed before sitting back up. Even after being so mad at the blond man, Luke couldn’t help but smile down at the now unconscious Amen. Luke kissed his lover gently on the forehead and then stood up, off to unpack some of his stuff before he made one last trip to his apartment, in the hopes of having it ready for the new tenant. Casca followed closely on his heels as Luke opened box after box of things that had slowly made there way from his old place to Amen’s.
However, after a few boxes Luke found that he didn’t feel the need to do any more unpacking for the time being. He didn’t really know where he could put his things and Luke certainly didn’t want to wake Amen with such silly questions. 
Amen woke with great difficulty. His eyes were red and swollen, and his mouth was dry. The sound of shuffling boxes explained why Luke wasn’t still next to him. Looking at the clock, he had been asleep almost all day. It was now early evening but still his body called for sleep. He knew about the depression that came with withdrawal but at the same time he didn’t expect it to hit him this hard. By about his time tomorrow he would be a complete mess. He walked down to the kitchen and got some water, walking right past Luke. “Sorry about that. I get… weird. All I can tell you is that it’ll get worse by tomorrow night.” Not once did he turn around to look at his angel. He was too ashamed to do much of anything but go back to bed. He just wanted to sleep this entire nightmare way. “Don’t worry about the rest of your stuff we can find homes for tomorrow. Come to bed with me, I just want you to hold me please.”
Slowly Luke walked over to Amen and wrapped his arms around the taller man’s waist. He kissed the blonde’s neck slightly and clutched Amen’s hand in his own. “I’m right here Amen,” he said, though he could see how Amen was after getting down from his high. He didn’t like what Amen had done to himself, but was glad to know that he was giving it up.
With Amen’s hand in his he pulled the taller man back towards the stairs. He gently kissed that pale hand with his naturally tanned lips, still walking towards the stairs. “C’mon,” Luke said calmly, turning back so he could walk up the stairs with out stumbling, “let’s get you back to bed.”
He didn’t want any of this, but it was more than he would ever do. He never cared, no matter how much Luke would cry, pleading with him to stop. That alone made Luke pleased with Amen. At least he would do that, but it hurt Luke that someone he cared so much about would do that to begin with.
As they walked up the stairs thought back to that first night when he had met Amen, how he had been going through the shortest withdrawal that he was sure Amen had ever seen. If he had known back then, that would have been the first and last time he and Amen would ever see each other. How could he have known? Still, as he griped tightly to his lover’s hand, Luke realized that it was better that way.
Amen loved the feel of Luke touching him, the feeling of them being so close. Amen loved his space but at the same time he needed that contact with someone to make him feel safe and wanted. As Luke started pulling on his arm, he refilled his glass and followed a small smile returning to his lips. “Stay with me this time?” Amen asked shyly. He hated sounding like a baby but it was all he could muster. He really wasn’t the aggressive lover that Luke was obviously used to. That kind of thing was fun once in a while, but slow and steady was more his thing. But tonight, sex at all wasn’t anything that he wanted. All he wanted was to cuddle and feel the contact between them as he fell asleep again.
And just like that Luke agreed and stayed right next to Amen as he fell asleep. He knew it wouldn’t take anything for the poor blond to drop back into sleep, but for a little while, Luke just sat next to him, watching him sleep. He sat there, with his back against the headboard and his hand holding Amen’s as Luke rubbed the back of the sleeping man’s hand with his thumb. “I love you,” Luke said gently as he leaned over his lover and kissed him on the cheek before he too lay down and went to sleep.

There were plenty of things to get done after the sun had risen. Right away Luke was checking through his boxes, while at the same time attempting to make a list of things that he could have possibly left back in his old place.
It was sort of sad when Luke thought about how little he had in life. Besides Amen, Luke had nothing of real importance. There were no photographs of him with his friends or family, no real jewelry, nothing that he couldn’t leave behind. It seemed rather pathetic, but it made him laugh. Still, there were things he needed to get done.
“Amen?” he questioned. “I’m gonna head back to my apartment for a bit.”
All Amen heard was his name as he rolled over and clutched Luke’s pillow tighter to his chest and face. The object really wasn’t a replacement for the man but it at least smelled like him. “Mmn… Love you…Be back soon…” was the only sound that came from his lips. Amen knew he had to sleep through as much of today as possible, before his body started to go into spasms, and he wouldn’t be able to rest anymore. The shaking and the sweats were already starting and his mind was reeling and going insane.
When he got to the apartment, Luke walked into an empty void. He hadn’t left anything behind, or at least from what he could tell from simply walking in. From the door, he walked to the back of the apartment, into his room and the bathroom, making sure that he wasn’t leaving anything behind that hadn’t been there before him.
As he went to look into Aaron’s old room, Luke heard the door slowly open and close. Thinking that it would be someone to close the lease, Luke walked swiftly back into the living room. However, when the person was in clear view, Luke realized that it clearly wasn’t who he thought it would be.
“Aaron?” he questioned, his fists clenching tightly. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing here?”
But the look on Aaron’s face made the DJ uneasy and he had to step back a pace when the other man responded. “I heard you were moving in with that good for nothing whore.”
Back at the apartment it hadn’t taken long before Amen was out of bed and in the bathroom. He had had just enough energy to make it down the stares and into before the contents of his stomach was looking back at him from the toilet. It took what little strength he had to wash his mouth out before going to lay on the couch. When the phone rang Amen picked it up with a slightly annoyed voice till he heard Becky on the other end. “Amen, are you okay?” He could hear her say.
“No… Quitting… Sick… No Luke…” was the only thing he could get out with his sore throat and dry mouth.
“I’m coming over. You don’t need to be alone right now. Why isn’t Luke there? Never mind I’m coming over, you can tell me then.” With that the line went dead. Amen hit the end call button before his hand dropped and the phone hit the floor. He had no energy left and the newly poring rain on the window was a soothing sound the country loving boy.
But Luke wouldn’t be there. In fact, he had no idea if he would be anywhere again. That was all he could think of as his body hung loosely from a rack in his own empty closet.
Had he been a little more cautious, more aware, Luke would have stopped Aaron. However, he had been a little out or sorts from moving and the other man caught him quickly without much of a fight. He couldn’t remember much, being that as soon as he caught a glimpse of Aaron’s face a bag was thrown over his head. His hands were bound, as were his feet and the bad was secured tightly around his neck, which made it rather hard to breathe
Beyond that, there was nothing, not until the bag was removed and Luke was forced into the empty closet in his apartment. Aaron said nothing to his captive, no matter how Luke cried out.
Luke was one that knew how to protect himself; he was a brawler, a street fighter. But Aaron had hit just the right nerves that made Luke fear for his life, with images of him running rampant in his mind. So when Aaron tied look to the rack in the closet, Luke barely had it in him to cry out for the other man to stop. So now there he was, trying not to cry, but muttering Amen’s name under his shuttering breath.
He had been in that closet for sometime now, at least Luke thought so. His watch was now too high up for him to read, but he knew it was getting late. What would Aaron do with him? Would he simply leave Luke there to die?
It had taken longer for Becky to get to the apartment then it should have. She said it was because of the rain and he knew she had stopped several times, by the drowned rat look she now sported. He really didn’t care though, for he was either asleep or waiting for a call from Luke. It didn’t take Becky long to dry off and change into some of Amen cloths before she was on the couch holding his head on her lap and soothing his loose hair. She did the best she could but she was no Luke and he wanted his strong arms holding him. “He should have been back by now. Becky can you try calling him?”
She nodded as she got the phone and tried with no luck besides the voicemail. “Luke. It’s Becky. We don’t know where you are, and Amen needs you here. Call us at the apartment when you get this.” Her voice sounded concerned as she left the message. Amen was doing this for him and he wasn’t here. Something had to be wrong.
When the door came slowly open and Luke found Aaron standing on the other side, staring back at the blue eyed man. Upon meeting the other man’s gaze, Luke glared harshly back, wanting to look as though he wasn’t afraid that Aaron would kill him right there.
“What the fuck is this?!” Luke shouted, though his voice shook with fear. “Let me go Aaron!”
Still Aaron didn’t speak. He smiled plainly at Luke before stepping into the closet and turning on the light. With the lights burning into Luke’s unadjusted eyes, he couldn’t make out Aaron’s entire figure as he moved in closer and closer, touching the DJ’s face with his hand. It was a gentle touch, but forceful at the same time.
“You owe Bruce this,” the thinner man stated before pausing. “You owe me this you fucking fag.”
Aaron was almost pressed against Luke’s body then and Luke had moved back to the point where he was hitting the wall behind him. He tried to keep that fierce composure, like a tiger being force into a corner, but the sternness in his gaze quickly turned to shock when Aaron grabbed Like’s shirt by the collar and tore it from the tanned body. Now his scar showed plainly and Aaron’s captive had no way to hide it.
Still Aaron smiled at Luke and said no more than a sentence or so as he dragged his finger nail forcefully down the long, jagged scar line. It hurt more mentally than physically, but still Luke winced at the pain. This however seemed to please Aaron, for his smile grew to a toothed smile. “No wonder you always cover this,” the man said. “It’s so fucking hideous.”
The comment dug deep, just as Aaron knew it would. Amen had made an effort to get Luke to neglect the long marring of his chest, but the DJ could only take so much. Nonetheless, the comment was quickly tossed aside as Aaron undid his victim’s pants and dropped them to Luke’s ankles.
“Stop!” the DJ shouted; now struggling to cover himself. “Aaron please! Stop this!”
But Aaron had no reason to listen to Luke’s cries; he enjoyed the terror that now stared him in the face from those blue sea eyes. Luke stopped calling out then; no one would hear him and Aaron just didn’t care.
“I’m sure your boyfriend would just love to find you here,” Aaron said with a snide smirk as he grabbed at Luke’s throat firmly. “Maybe when I’m done with you, I’ll just leave you like this.”
Amen cried into Luke’s pillow as Becky stroked his head with comforting hands and tried to sooth him with a comforting voice. It had been three hours since she had gotten there and still no sign of Luke. As she got up she put Amen’s head down and got on her knees on the floor in front of him. She hated seeing him like he was now. He was always her crying shoulder, he was always the strong one and now she couldn’t do anything… unless she found Luke. “I’ll be right back. Amen I’m Just going right out side the door.” She kissed him on the forehead, before she got her phone out and walked out the door. She could hear his sobs and Luke name between the thunder and couldn’t help the tears that slipped out. When the woman on the other line picked up Becky sank to the floor. “Tasha… I need our help. I can’t leave Amen but we need to find Luke. Amen said He went to his old apartment can you and Mike look for him please. He should have been home by now and Amen getting hysterical. I’m scared Tasha.” Her own lover agreed before they both hung up and when to the tasks designated them.
It was as if high school was happening all over again. Luke could have taken him, he could have taken Aaron, but he didn’t. He felt so helpless, as he had then, even though he wasn’t. The tears soon found their way down Luke’s face, whether it would appeal to Aaron or not, Luke couldn’t hold them back.
The next thing Luke knew he was hitting the ground with a good amount of force, for Aaron had cut him from the rack, but still his hands were tied. The DJ wanted to at least sit up at this point, but he felt so physically weak that he simply couldn’t.
“You fought so hard last time,” Aaron said as he slammed his foot into Luke’s right kidney that caused him to turn slightly, which left hit stomach open for the second kick. “You broke my fucking arm and this is how you fight back?”
But Luke said nothing, tears blurring his vision. He looked up at Aaron and finally tried to sit up. However, as soon as he was to his knees, the rat like man struck him hard again, this time right to his face, which in turn dropped Luke back to the floor.
Blood dripped from the miserable figure’s mouth and Luke found it hard to do much of anything. What could he do? His hands and feet were tied and there was no sign of Aaron stopping to let him go.
Now Aaron had taken a hold of Luke’s wrists and dragged him out into the vacant living room. There was nothing there, not even the couch that would have sat exactly where Aaron had dropped Luke.
In a hope that Amen would walk in right then, Luke turned his eyes towards the door. But this left his neck open and Aaron quickly put his foot on the DJ’s throat, pressing harder on the windpipe the more Luke tried to breathe. Those sad blue pools looked up pleadingly at Aaron’s cool features, but there was no way to convince the other man to move.
Would he die here? Would Amen find him in the closet like Aaron had said? Just a lifeless body, bruised and bloody. However, this thought made Luke’s pathetic stare turn back to that of an angered tiger on the hunt. Luke took his bound hands and pulled at Aaron’s ankle which caused him to fall backwards.
Amen needed him, so Luke needed to fight back, whether he wanted to or not. Aaron was slowly finding his feet when Luke was untying his feet and when Aaron went to strike again Luke was able to move away. In his frustration, Aaron struck at Luke again, but the DJ quickly stood to get out of the way. This caught the kidnapper off guard just long enough for Luke to get his tied wrists around Aaron’s neck, only to pull back, which set the man off balance and Luke slammed his neck down hard on the back of the kitchen counter. Aaron’s body flopped to the floor, motionless.
Luke was shaky then and his body was burning inside and out. He only had enough energy to get his pants back on and to find his phone in one of his pockets before he flopped to the floor right next to Aaron, who still made no sign of even being alive. With his tied hands, Luke dialed Amen’s number. When the other side picked up, Luke didn’t wait for a ‘hello’ before he spoke.
“Amen…” Luke panted weakly, “…my place… now… hurry…” and he dropped the phone.
Becky was the one to pick up the phone when it rang. Amen had throne up again and was now asleep on her lap once more. Hearing Luke’s existed voice on the other line she tried to keep him on the line longer but it went dead. “Amen. Honey wake up. That was Luke we have to get to his place.” She tried to wake the man up but Amen was out cold. Picking up the phone once more she called Tasha back. “Luke’s at his apartment hurry and get there. I think he’s hurt. We’ll get there as soon as I get Amen up.”
It didn’t take long for Tasha was through the door of the empty apartment. First she checked Luke then Aaron. “Well you didn’t kill him. The fucker deserves it if you ask me.” She said picking up Luke’s phone to call 911. “Do you need help or just ass hole over here?” She let the question hang as she told the person on the other line were they were.
Luke was hardly conscious when Tasha rushed in the door. He looked slightly at the woman, but made no attempt to move. “D-did I…” he muttered, “did I kill him?”
With Tasha’s response, Luke almost found the energy to hit at the limp body again… almost. All he could do was pick his arms up to cover the scar on his chest. With Tasha’s question on his wellbeing, Luke simply stated that he wouldn’t go to the hospital again. It would have been the third time he would have been in that hospital, twice for himself and once for Amen, but he couldn’t allow that, not while Amen was the one dealing with a more serious problem.
“J-just… give me a…” he paused, feeling as though he were about to vomit. “Where’s Amen… I called Amen… i-is he… alright?”
It was only then that Luke made a slight motion towards Tasha for her to untie his hands, still keeping his scar hidden between his forearms.
Tasha saw his discomfort at being shirtless and took off her over top. It was a guy's and would probably fit the man. She smiled at him as she untied his hands, and then helped him put the shirt on. “Amen’s doing ok. Becky’s trying to wake him up and then they’ll be over. Luke he really loves you. He might just make it through this with your help.” She grabbed his hands to look at his wrists. Even though her gestures were forceful her touch was soft and careful, touching only what she had to, to get a good look at the raw skin. When the Ambulance got there she tried her best to keep them away from Luke and guide them only to Aaron. “Luke you have to tell the cops what happened or… Amen gonna be pissed at me if they take you.” She then left the room at wait for Amen and Becky in the lobby. The rain had slowed to a slight drizzle but never completely stopped.
When the two finally got to the building Amen rushed up the stairs, trying his best not to fall down them again. As he burst thorough the door Amen rushed past the cops and strait to Luke, throwing his arms around Luke’s neck and holding to him. “Oh god Luke,” he sobbed into the others neck. He clung to him, never wanting to let go.
The dazed creature didn’t want to talk with the police, he didn’t want to do anything but just sit there, or possibly even pass out. Everything that Tasha said made Luke weaker and he just wanted to cry. As she checked his wrists he made no attempt to even support them and his eyes seemed clouded over. It was only when the bemused man heard Amen’s voice that he found he could make any movement at all.
“A-Amen-?” There would have been more to the questioning statement, had Amen not flopped into his arms.
Feeling the taller man’s body against him caused tears to run down his face. Though he barely had the strength to breathe, Luke found it in him somehow to hold Amen. “You should still be in bed,” he said quietly. “I’m fine, really.”
“Only if your there with me.” Amen just held tighter to Luke. He didn’t care if the cops were watching them and he barley noticed when they left and said that they would call later. Amen’s hands just clutched to the back of the shirt he was wearing, knowing that it wasn’t his. “I love you Luke. This is why I told you to get out of here sooner. I knew Aaron would try to hurt you.” He kissed Luke on the neck, still clinging to him. “Come home? Please, let’s go home.” Amen pleaded with Luke trying to get him out of the place. He didn’t know what happened but with Luke acting so drained he really didn’t think he wanted to know.
He didn’t want to make Amen unhappy, and from what he could tell, none of this was doing his poor lover any good. Luke hated himself for not listening to Amen before, when he thought he was invincible. Nonetheless, right now all he could think of doing was being close to Amen… which unfortunately meant moving.
His legs felt numb as he tried to stand, but he didn’t want to lean too much on Amen when he was certain neither one of them were in any condition to support the other. Still, he wobbled immensely and felt as if he was going to throw up, but he just smiled quietly at Amen as he attempted to walk, even though he was still finding blood dripping from his mouth, but quickly wiped it away, to make sure that he wouldn’t worry Amen anymore than he already had.
“Amen…” he said weakly as he pecked Amen on the cheek. “I love you too…”
Amen could feel Luke wobble and moved off of him. The last thing either of them needed was to fall. Both men made it home safely but it was Becky and Tasha that they had to thank for it. As Amen fell asleep with Luke tucked in with him he could only hope that the next couple of days would be better.
The next couple of weeks were a little better. Amen still had fits and tried to keep Luke at a distance for them but for the most part all he wanted was to be close. This morning however, Amen woke, shaking and in a cold sweat. He looked at the clock, though his mind wouldn’t register it. It was early morning, too early. Luke was asleep next to him and the sun hadn’t risen. He needed to get up, do something. His body and mind were screaming for his addiction. Getting up he walked into the bathroom. Closing the door he flipped on the light and looked into the mirror. For the past month Amen watched as his reflection wasted away. His already skinny frame had wasted away to almost nothing, and his hair and eyes had lost their usual shine. His bright blond roots were stating to show and the stripe had faded from the brilliant color it was to a soft baby blue.
Starting to shake again, he opened the medicine cupboard and grabbed the medical tape. Sitting on the toilet lid he started to wrap his hands, staring at his knuckles and working his way to his wrists. He barely noticed that his fingers were turning purple with how tight he was wrapping them. All he cared about was the fact that he could still make a fist. If he couldn’t have what he wanted, he would at least try to occupy himself. Looking in the bedroom to make sure Luke wouldn’t wake up anytime soon Amen went into the living room. Standing in his corner he tried to steady his breath, getting it semi-even he dropped to the floor and started with push ups and sit ups.
Flopping to the floor the cold sweats were still there, along with the shaking. Getting up he looked at his reflection in the window. It made him sick to see what he had become. Balling his fist he punched, turning away from the window just in time to hit the bag instead. Starting to cry he kept hitting it harder and harder until his hands lost feeling and his wrists started to hurt. Still he kept going, loosing all track of time.
The only clue was when Amen heard the sounds of Luke walking into the room. “Lucas, leave me alone.” Amen kept punching. All he could do was to not look at the other man.
Lucas?! Luke’s mind screamed as the name stabbed into him. He had never heard Amen call him that, and the name brought up far too many memories. Still, Luke bore with it; he had to, knowing full well what Amen was going through. Nonetheless, it still stung.
With a sympathetic smile, Luke came up behind Amen, kissing him ever so gently on the neck. “Amen,” he said quietly, “please come back to bed. You can workout later.” But there was no response so Luke moved away to go right behind the bag as Amen continued to punch it.
“Everything will be okay, Amen,” he said with a smile still on his face. “Please just come back to bed now.”
Amen couldn’t take it anymore. The punching bag wasn’t enough. It wasn’t until after his fist connected with Luke’s face that he realized what he did. He really couldn’t take it anymore. Looking at his own hands he backed up and kept a good distance away from the sad blue eyes. He had broken the one promise that had meant so much to Luke. He had hurt him. “I…I…I’m… Sorry.” Amen sputtered. Still keeping a safe distance from Luke, Amen hurried to the door, Grabbing his coat he didn’t stop until he was outside Becky and Tasha’s apartment. “Girls open up I know your in there.” Amen started sobbing again.
Tasha was the first at the door. In only her bra and jeans, she opened it to see Amen’s eyes full of water and it leaking down his face. “Oh my god, Amen, what’s wrong?”
Amen fell to his knees and just hugged her around the waist and cried into her stomach. “I’m sorry to bother you guys. I just had to get away from him.” Tasha lifted him up as best she could and led him to the couch, the whole time trying to sooth him. Never letting go, Amen started to speak again, though chocking on his words. “I hit him. Tasha, I hit Luke. I did the one thing I promised I wouldn’t. I hurt him, Tasha, I hurt him.”
Becky came out of their room, looking like she was a little kid. Her pig tails were in disarray and she was rubbing the sleep out of her eyes with the sleeves over sized nightshirt she wore. “Amen are you okay?” The only response was the shaking of a head against her lovers shoulder.
Tasha just pet Amen on the head and looked at the younger woman. “Becky can you check on Luke?”
Just nodding Becky tuned to get dressed and then left quietly. Getting to the guy’s apartment she knocked on the closed door. “Luke?” Opening the door she stepped in. “Luke are you okay? Amen’s at our place and he’s crying. No one would tell me why. I was sent to see if you were okay.”
As soon as Amen had hit him, Luke stepped back, his mouth ajar and his hand gently touching his face. Not only had Amen struck him by surprise, but he had hit him right where Aaron had hit him the week before, so it stung even more. He just dropped to his knees once the door slammed shut, still dumbfounded. He hadn’t expected that, and it was just right after what had happened with Aaron, so now he started feeling sick.
It was only when Becky came in that Luke stood back up. He gave a smile, though rather fake, towards the woman as he tried his best to look unfazed. “I’m okay Becky,” he said with a slight laugh. “If Amen’s crying, we should both get over there.” Still, he laughed again and it slipped out. “He hit me,” he stated as if he was still wondering if it had happened. “He actually hit me…” Luke shook his head before touching his face again, finding it rather sore.
Luke gave another look at Becky before heading for the door. “C’mon,” he said, “we need to get back to Amen.”
“Luke!” Becky paused. “Amen’s fine. He maybe crying but he ran for a reason…” she looked at the ground. “Tasha is with him. He’ll come back when he’s ready.” Gently she pulled him back inside and to the couch. She kneeled in front of him to look at the bruise that was forming. Her eyes were sad as she got back up to get some ice form the fridge. “You were Lucky. Last time this happened, I found Mike unconscious on the floor. He was trying to quite then too.” She returned and tried to put a dish cloth filled with ice to his face.
He didn’t want to stay there, but Luke didn’t fight back when Becky sat him down. Part of him was afraid to see Amen, fearing that he would see someone else in his place, but still Luke felt that Amen needed him. After all, he had hit Luke for a reason and the DJ certainly wanted to know why.
As Becky put the ice to Luke’s face he winced at the cold feeling. His face hurt badly before, but it was now starting to feel rather numb and not only from the cold.
“I can take a punch,” the DJ stated as if trying to boast, though it sounded rather timid. He would still have flashes of Aaron standing over him. “I guess I just never expected Amen would be the one hitting me.”
Becky sat with Luke, trying to just keep him busy. It was more then an hour before she got a call. She excused her self before walking out the door for a moment. When she came back she smiled at Luke, touching him on the shoulder. “Luke. Amen’s on his way back. I’m gonna leave now. Will you be ok?” She waited for his answer before kissing him on the cheek and leaving.
It wasn’t long till amen was back in the apartment. He never spoke to Luke he just walked up to the bed room and got out one of his bigger bags. Amen tried as hard as he could to hold back tears as he packed.
All Luke did was nod as Becky asked her question. He took the peck to the cheek and simply sat awaiting Amen’s return. He was utterly hurt when Amen said nothing to him as he entered. Rather flustered, Luke rushed up the stairs, only to find his lover packing.
“Amen!?” he questioned excitedly as he tried to get Amen’s attention. “What are you doing?!” Angered, Luke grabbed Amen’s forearm and pulled him in so that he would look into Luke’s blue eyes. “Tell me what’s going on, Amen!”
Amen couldn’t look into Luke’s eyes. “I’m sorry Luke. It’s my turn to run this time. I never should have made you move in with me. Don’t be surprised if I told you, you have to find a new home in a couple of weeks.” Finally looking up, Amen meet Luke’s eyes with tears streaming down his face. “I can’t do this on my own anymore. Luke I have to go.” Amen ripped his arm out of Luke’s grip and turned to pack again. “I’ll try and raise the money I need by selling some of my paintings… But I know it won’t be enough.” He stopped packing when his hands shook so much that he couldn’t hold the items anymore.
Luke was dumbfounded. He simply stood there with his mouth ajar. “Amen,” he said quietly, his hand still stretched out, “you’re not making any sense…” But Luke’s words trailed off and he had to hold Amen. He could see his lover crying and he just had to hold him.
Those muscular arms wrapped around Amen tightly as his hands started to shake. “But… if you have to go…” he said quietly before kissing Amen gently on his neck, “I’ll pay for anything you need. Don’t sell your paintings, trust me, you don’t need to. If it’s money you need, I can cover it.”
He hugged Amen tighter and he just couldn’t let go. “Amen please…” said Luke gently, “you wanted me to be your angel, so let me be.”
“You are my angel,” was the only response. Leaning back into Luke’s arms Amen couldn’t take it anymore. “Rehab is expensive Luke. How are you going to pay for it if I can’t?” He turned in Luke’s arms and held him back, savoring the feel of Luke’s body against his. As he sat on the bed his arms slid down to Luke’s waist and his head became buried in his shirt. “I can’t pay you back, if you do.” His hands clutched at Luke’s back, and he tried to wipe his tears on the cloth. It was going to be their last night together for a while and Amen didn’t want to spoil it with his crying. “I leave in the morning. I don’t know when I’ll be back. I already called the center. They’re expecting me.”
“There are still some things you don’t know about me,” Luke said as he held Amen’s head to him, running his fingers gently through the blond hair. “Besides, you know I would never make you pay me back. Just let me handle it, okay?”
Luke’s eyes widened when he heard that Amen would be gone the next day. With the thought of being with out Amen, Luke had to clutch Amen to him tighter. “Damn it…” said Luke, rather frustrated that he didn’t have a choice in the matter. “I wish you would have talked to me before just doing that.”
Nonetheless, Luke too wanted to spend their last night together in another way. He certainly didn’t want it to be like this. As he moved his arms, Luke cupped Amen’s face in his hands before kneeling in front of him for a kiss. It wasn’t very long, but it was the most he could get with out crying.
As Luke kneeled Amen’s hands slid to his shoulders. The kiss tasted sweet compared to the bitter tears that he had shed all day. Amen’s body craved Luke. It wanted him closer, deeper. Amen barley noticed as he spread his legs allowing Luke between them. “I love you. Oh God, I’m going to miss you.” Amen pulled Luke to him for another kiss as he leaned back, making Luke follow him to the bed. “I made my decision this morning. It was only mine to make. The reason for it being so soon is that I don’t want a repeat of this morning. I love you Luke. I don’t want to hurt you again.” Holding Luke’s face to his, Amen tried not to touch where his hand had connected before. Instead he kissed it carefully. “Promise me I’ll learn more about you when I get back. Promise that you’ll be here.”
Luke moved right with Amen onto the bed, going from kneeling on the ground to straddling the thin frame under him. With Amen holding his face, Luke put his hands on either side of his lovers head. “I love you too Amen,” Luke said quietly before leaning in to kiss Amen’s neck. “I’ll be right here; I’ll wait for you no matter how long it takes.”
The DJ continued to kiss Amen’s neck, though he soon started to gently bite it before he proceeded to bite the blond man’s ear. His hands moved in to cradle Amen against his body as he began to kiss down Amen’s beck to his sternum. “Amen…” came out in a low whisper as Luke blew gently on Amen’s skin, “can I have you… one more time before you go?”
Amen moaned as he felt Luke’s mouth on his skin. “Please.” Amen’s back arched slightly as Luke got to his chest and stopped. One hand had moved down Luke’s arm and to the bed shoving the bag to the floor and clutched the sheets. The other hand stayed at Luke’s head and now stroked the back of it. Amen ran his fingers through the unruly mess, “Please, don’t stop. I need you Luke. I need my Angel right now. Please.” Amen hadn’t meant to beg or plead but that was all he could do. His body craved Luke while his brain craved drugs. This was one time in his life that he would fallow his heart not his mind.
It didn’t take much to get Luke to move down towards the base if Amen’s torso. As he pushed Amen’s shirt up he ran his tongue up from just below his bellybutton all the way to his neck as Luke pulled the shirt completely off. His fingers groped at Amen’s bare skin and he kissed at every inch. If this was the last night for who know how long, Luke wasn’t about to waste it. He wanted to taste everything, to feel every sensation just so he could remember it.
“Damn it Amen,” Luke growled as he began to slowly pull Amen’s pants down, “if you don’t come back soon I’m gonna go crazy…”
As Luke tasted up his chest his back arched up so far that he actually sat. Panting Amen pulled at Luke’s cloths frantically. He desperately wanted to feel Luke’s skin against his and his patients was running thin. “Mmn…off please. Need you…” Not really wanting to rush things he let Luke tack complete control but still he couldn’t help but request things. Amen felt as if he were a doll; just a pretty object that Luke could do with as he pleased, as long as it was Luke. His angel was the only one that he would give his body and soul to. He had given his body before but never his love. That was the part that made it special. “I love you Luke.”
But even with all of Amen’s pleading, Luke waited till after he had completely undressed Amen to even remove his own clothing. As he took his shirt and pants off, Luke knelt before Amen and kissed down the inside of his thighs before getting back up, leaving his clothing on the ground, and laying right on top of Amen. “I love you too Amen,” came like a rolling growl from deep in Luke’s throat as he bit at Amen’s neck, his hands roaming around Amen’s body again, more forcefully than before.
Amen couldn’t help the moan when Luke kissed his thighs or the whimper when he stopped, but he sighed as Luke lay on top of him again. His body felt like it was singing for the musician above it. “Oh God… Luke, not that hard.” Amen panted as he felt Luke bite him. As teeth bit flesh so did nails, as Amen clung to the shoulders over him. He was careful not to break skin but at the same time his hands clenched like claws. He pulled away slightly but coaxed Luke the rest of the way onto the bed with him. With a smile he lay back down and guided Luke back to his mouth. Amen arched so their chests pressed together and lifted his knees so that Luke’s hips were cradled between his legs. “I want to stay just like this. I love how you feel against me.”
Luke liked the feel of Amen grabbing at his back, and it made him only want the man more as he continued to kiss the thin figure under him.
It made Luke moan when he found himself so close to pushing into Amen. He wanted to dig deep into Amen, but he tried his best to keep himself preoccupied by locking lips and tongues, his hands starting to move down to Amen’s hips. However, his lips slowly began to move again, lower and lower, to the point where they were right above Amen’s groin. “Amen…” Luke whispered as his heated breath blew gently over the now wet skin.
The song was added to as Amen felt Luke travel down his body. The last note was a frustrated grunt when Luke stopped. Amen meet Luke’s eyes as he propped himself up on his elbows. Amen could feel and hear when Luke breathed his name and he shuddered. “What’s wrong? Luke, why’d you stop?” His breath came out in pants.
It might not have been very fair, but Luke wanted to frustrate Amen. He wanted to draw everything out, to the point where Amen couldn’t take it anymore. However, the idea was rather taxing on Luke as well, who was still not fully able to control himself. Blue eyes looked up at Amen before crawling back on top of the man. “I’m sorry,” the DJ breathed with a slight smile. But it didn’t take long for Luke to lean in and kiss Amen’s lips gently. He body was screaming, but after Amen had hit him as hard as he had; Luke figured that there was need for payback. He gently pressed his hips into the spot that Amen had made for them, his heated body rubbing against Amen’s.
Amen could only smile as Luke crawled back up him and kissed him. Only after Luke pressed their hips together did Amen finally get what the DJ was doing. Amen wasn’t a doll, he was Luke’s instrument. Like a piano Luke would press all of Amen’s keys, as hard as he could, till a string broke.
Amen dug his fingers into Luke’s back as he shifted to get to Luke’s ear. “The scarf is in the top drawer. Just don’t forget to stretch me first.” Amen bit Luke’s ear, before wiggling his hips and thrusting them up to cause more friction.
But Luke didn’t care to grab the scarf. He merely took Amen’s arms and pressed them hard against the bed. As he moved his hands up from Amen’s forearms to his wrists he leaned harder against the blonde’s body, as if to push in, though he didn’t. Luke grabbed Amen’s wrists tightly, putting all his weight onto them as he pulled his chest upward from his lover’s body. He figured that if he stayed that close, he might not be able to wait, but he kept his hips hard pressed against Amen’s. Still, he couldn’t stay like that; as he looked down into Amen’s eyes he just had to feel him. Slowly, he lowered himself down to touch the warm body beneath him. He bit at Amen’s neck and collar a bit harder than gentle, but he couldn’t help it, his body was craving Amen’s and it took all his strength to not just shove in. Nonetheless, he would contain himself, but he would also get a little more out of it. As he let one hand go, Luke’s own traveled down to take hold of Amen.
Amen felt the pressure at his wrists and winced. Luke wasn’t really heavy but with his entire weight centered on the two joints, Amen couldn’t help it. With Luke also pressing his hips harder against his own he moaned. When Luke finally let up on his hands he held Luke’s head and neck closer to him, also pausing to cress his shoulder. “Oh… Mmn… Luke please just do it!” Amen through his head back as Luke took hold of him. “Please I can’t take much more.” As his hips continued to move he slipped in Luke’s grasp causing more friction. His fingers dug into Luke’s neck as one string finally broke. Luke's name was shouted as he arched his back, and came for the first time that night. Amen knew it wouldn't be the last.
Upon hearing Amen beg, Luke had to contain a moan. He wanted to just dive in and engulf Amen in his own body, but did his best to contain the primal urge. Though he certainly wasn’t the most experienced, he could push and pull just the right way and he knew Amen would respond just as he did. Nonetheless, he wasn’t about to answer to Amen’s plea, he still wanted to push deeper and harder with out actually going deeper or harder. But as he felt Amen’s grip on his neck and his name coming lustfully from the taller man’s lips, he couldn’t help but finally let out a loud, rolling moan. He could feel Amen’s body giving in, but Luke continued to pluck at his lovers strings. He leaned his hips in harder, but his hand had moved farther down. Luke pushed in one finger forcefully, then the second, hoping he was getting it right. Still, he showed no sign of a lack of confidence. The DJ leaned against Amen’s chest only to whisper, “If I can only have you once more before you leave, I’m not going to waste it…”
Felling Luke at his opening, Amen spread his legs farther apart. Even though Luke’s fingers were slightly covered in his own juice he tried to pull away when Luke pushed into him. The pain was slightly dulled by his organism but he could still feel it. Amen opened his eyes and looked to the side, groped for the handle of the night stand he got when to put on his side of the bed when Luke moved in, he opened it and grabbed the lubricant and a condom. “Luke… Uh … Here…” Was all he could get out between pants as he taped Luke on the shoulder with the items. “Please.”
But as Luke took the items into his own hand, he only looked at them briefly before adding a third finger. “We’re not there yet,” he said as he put them down at his side on the bed and hitting Amen deep. As he bit gingerly at his lover’s neck, Luke couldn’t help but think of Aaron and those cold eyes. He paused for a moment, but shook it off quickly. It had been a while since he had even seen that… creature, so why him, why now? He bit down harder on Amen’s neck without realizing it. He had been like that as well, he never too precautions, he only took what he wanted with out bother to question if Luke wanted it. Again Luke pushed deep in, spreading his fingers apart slightly.
Amen screamed with pleasure as Luke entered that third appendage. He caught his breath in time to feel Luke pause, but couldn’t question it before Luke bit him harder then he could take. Torn between pain and pleasure he dug his nails into Luke’s back. “Oh FUCK… Luke… not that hard… please it hurts.” He turned his head into Luke’s, nuzzling him to try to get Luke to kiss him. “Luke? Is something wrong?” Amen screamed once again as Luke pulled his fingers apart and hit Amen just right once more.
There was an odd sensation that came with Amen’s nails in his back and it made Luke forget… or at least push it all to the back of his mind. He hardly realized that Amen was asking him to calm down, but nonetheless, he did. Amen was trying to get a kiss in somewhere, but it was as if Luke was making physical excuses not to. With every motion, Luke moved else where, chest, shoulder, ear, neck, but not lips. The scream alone gave reason to reach back for those items that were now heading for the edge of the bed and the floor. Luke was so hard and he kept himself focused only on the body under him as he put the condom and lubricant on. He was done playing around and his instincts were taking over. Nonetheless, he slipped into Amen as slowly as he could, pushing in and pulling out again the deeper he got.
Once Amen caught his breath once again he sighed as Luke pushed into him. He relaxed his tight grip on Luke’s back and smoothed his palm over the scratches. It was only when Luke refused to kiss him did he finally get frustrated and pull Luke’s face to his own. “Kiss me damn it.” That was all the warning Luke got before Amen crushed their lips together mimicking Luke’s thrusts with his tongue. Liking the feel of Luke getting deeper and deeper he thrust his hips up with each of Luke’s movements.
He took in the kiss painfully at first, after trying so hard not to feel that sensation, but soon it was a soothing feeling and he delved into it deeper. He clutched Amen’s body to his own, making every thrust deeper than the one before it and he could feel his body screaming. A deep throated moan came out from between Luke’s lips and he pushed even deeper. Just as he was beginning to cum, Luke moved back to Amen’s ear with a whispered, “I love you Amen.”
Amen’s body reached its limit. The last string had broken when he felt Luke cumming. His head fell back and his arms went limp allowing Luke to whisper in his ear. This time his organism wasn’t as strong as the first. His body just didn’t have the energy. “… Love…” Was the only intelligible thing that came out of his mumbles as he let his body sink into a black sleep.
His brain sent images, and all Amen could make out were Luke’s blue eyes and wings. He didn’t now exactly what it meant but it gave him a warm felling. “I love you, Angel,” Was all he thought as the image flew away. He didn’t know if it made it to Luke or not but that was the last thing he remembered before the darkness took over, and warmth was all that was left.
Luke held Amen close to him as the body went limp. The man was completely unconscious, or at least Luke thought so, until he heard his lover mumble something, which was almost too hard to make out. There was a slight smile and then Luke set Amen down, pulling out just before he threw the condom away. Normally, Luke too would have fallen asleep, but the thoughts of Aaron kept him awake.
Again, he hadn’t killed Aaron and that bastard was still alive, which made Luke sick to his stomach, to the point where he had to stumble down the stairs and into the bathroom. Before everything had happened, Luke wouldn’t have even considered Aaron a threat, just a bother. Now however, even thinking of the man made him shake uncontrollably.
As he stood in front of the sink, his body shaking as he tried to contain the urge to vomit, Luke looked up into the mirror and swore he saw Aaron glaring at him. In a panic, the DJ spun around, but in doing so, he became lightheaded and dropped to the floor. He was relived to find that nothing was there after all, but still all Luke could do was clutch the edge of the sink, still collapsed on the floor.
He couldn’t tell Amen any of this, not with him going through withdrawal. It wasn’t fair to focus things on himself when Amen was dealing with all of that; his problems were far more important. Nonetheless, Luke felt absolutely miserable and wished he had Amen to turn to for help. He needed that shoulder to cry on; someone to hold him when he was too afraid to go to sleep at night, but Amen couldn’t be that right now. For now, Luke had to be the strong one, the shoulder to cry on, the angel that Amen looked to for salvation. That as well made Luke feel slightly sick. Before, he would have been fine with it, and he would continue on being an angel, but right now he felt like a ghosts that only found that he was alive through fear.
“A-Amen…” Luke sobbed as he dropped completely to the floor, huddling against the wall like a young child after being scolded “Amen please… please save me! I need you to save me…! Amen!”
The tears just continued to flow down Luke’s face as painful memories rushed through his head like a title wave. Everything ached in his body and he grasped his arms so tight that he made them bleed. His body shook more violently and he couldn’t contain it anymore. His hands, his arms, his legs, his feet, nothing would respond, it was as if everything had taken up a mind for itself.
“N-no…!” he cried out. “I-I can’t be like this…! I’m sorry Amen, please forgive me!”
Slowly, the corners of his vision started to go black and the shaking slowed to an almost controllable pace. Nonetheless, it didn’t do any good, for once he had the ability to move his hands, everything went black and he passed out.
It didn’t take long for Amen to start feeling cold and wake up slightly. “Umm.. Luke? Where’s the blanket?” He asked groggily. Hearing no answer and just figuring Luke was asleep he felt around till he realized that Luke wasn’t in bed. “Angel?” As he turned over he confirmed his groping. Luke was nowhere in sight. As he stumbled out of bed to find his lost lover he grabbed his own boxers as well as Luke’s. “Luke?” He called searching the apartment, finally ending up in the bathroom only to find Luke curled in the fetal position on the floor. Almost scared to touch him Amen kneeled beside him and looked for any sign of injury before he gently touched Luke’s shoulder. “Angel… Wake up… Luke… Are you okay? Luke wake up you’re scaring me.”
At the sound of Amen’s voice, Luke’s whole body jumped to life, like a wind-up toy after the last turn. His blue eyes were wide and panicked until they focused on Amen’s worried face, then it was a look of disappointment. How would he explain this when nothing but the truth would even make sense? His body shook slightly as Luke took Amen’s hand in his own before kissing it gently.
“You should be asleep,” he stated a slight hint of an order thrown in. He then stood, though as he rose, his vision making everything look as though he was in water. “C’mon, back to bed,” said Luke as he brought Amen up next to him.
Clearly Amen would want an explanation, but Luke didn’t have one that he was willing to give. Nonetheless, he felt slightly better with his breakdown out of the way, even if Amen was now there, questioning the stability of Luke’s health.
“Luke? What’s wrong? Why were you on the floor?” Amen tried to stable Luke before he was helped off the floor as well. Amen heard the ordering in Luke’s voice and frowned. He wasn’t 12 and he didn’t need to be told when bed time was. Stuffing Luke’s pants at him he glared back. “Not till you tell me what’s wrong with you. You’ve been acting weird and now I find you passed out on the bathroom floor!” Like a wife that knew her husband was up to no good, Amen pulled his hands away from Luke, crossing them over his chest and blocking the door. “Luke I want us to help each other. I may not be at my best right now, but I know something is wrong. Now spill.”
He just couldn’t. Luke turned his eyes away as Amen stood in the doorway, not absentmindedly holding his boxers in one hand. He didn’t want to tell Amen, even if he was willing to listen. It was stupid, it had happened almost a month in the past and even if he wasn’t over it yet, he should have been; that was all that mattered to Luke.
“I just felt a little dizzy,” lied the DJ as he went to push past Amen. “I wanted to get some water on my face and I fell… That’s all it was…”
Amen wasn’t stupid, but Luke felt that he was the one being stupid. It was just something he didn’t want to say… but upon taking a slight glance at that angered face, Luke knew that he couldn’t continue as he was. The DJ dropped his head as his body shook again. “I…” he paused, “it’s just everything that happened… that night… with Aaron…” again he paused as he clenched his fists, a tear running down his cheek. “I’m scared Amen… it shouldn’t still be getting to me like this…”
How Luke hated himself for blurting that all out. In the morning Amen would be gone and he was worrying over a stupid nothing that couldn’t compare to Amen’s misery. His body shuddered like an old car trying to start and he tried to push past Amen again with the hope of forgetting everything by morning.
Amen just stood there listening but when Luke tried to leave he stretched his arm across the door way. “Luke!” Amen knew that the man was lying. Only when Luke glanced at him then confessed he was scared did Amen’s face turn soft again and his arm slid from the doorframe to Luke’s shoulders, pulling him close. “Luke… I never asked… I’m sorry for that. Please tell me now. What happened? I want to help you.” Amen tried to comfort the shaking man as he led them both to the couch.
He had completely forgotten that Amen didn’t even know. Part of Luke had simply assumed that the taller man had somehow learned of it from elsewhere so he had never thought to say anything. Still, he didn’t want to talk about it, if he said anything, the images would just come back. Nonetheless, he slowly walked with Amen to the couch, constantly mumbling that he didn’t want to bother his lover with any of it. When he found himself on the couch all Luke wanted was to be close to Amen. He clutched at the other mans hand tightly as he rested his head on Amen’s shoulder.
“I just want to go back to sleep Amen,” Luke said quietly. “It’s no big deal… I’ll… get over it…”
He was lying again, but it was more to assure himself that this would stop getting to him. Still he sat there, his body slightly shaking.
“Luke you’re… the only thing that’s bothering me is you not telling me what is going on.” Amen turned slightly so his back was in the corner of the couch and Luke’s head rested on his chest instead of his shoulder. He clutched Luke’s hand harder and stroked his temple and down his head with the other. “If you want to sleep that’s fine but I want to know if I can help. I want us to have a fresh start when I get back. No drugs, no heartache, just ourselves.” His eyes started to droop as the soothing motion set in; it was like petting the cat. Thought Amen would never admit it he loved feeling the softness of her fur and Luke’s hair was just as soft.
Everything seemed to fade away as Amen gently stroked his head. “Then let’s just forget everything,” Luke stated as his eyes slowly began to close as well. He felt so safe in Amen’s arms, safe enough to not worry about Aaron and all that had happened. He felt like he could tell his lover, but at the same time he now felt too tired to worry about anything like that. “When you come back…” Luke’s words dragged slowly, “…we’ll start over, the right way.”
Luke couldn’t help but let his lids fall over his eyes as Amen continued to take his fingers through his brown hair. It wasn’t the best way to end their last night together, but it seemed slightly more placid than any other.
Since moving in with Amen, Luke began to get up earlier and earlier for when he awoke the next morning he found Amen still asleep. As he looked at Amen, his arms still folded about the DJ in his sleep, Luke couldn’t help but smile. They never did make it back up to the bed and the slight kink in Luke’s neck attested to that.
Ever so gently, the shorter man slipped from Amen’s grasp, in the hopes that he wouldn’t wake the other man. Still with out any article of clothing, Luke made his way to the nightstand upstairs in the bedroom to find his cell phone. As he dialed an old, yet familiar number, Luke popped his neck and rolled his shoulders. The phone rang about two times before a very formal voice picked up on the other side.
“Rupert?” Luke questioned in a rather proper tone. “Do you remember me? It’s Luke, Luke Hartington.” There was a long pause as the DJ listened to the other side’s response. “Oh don’t worry about that Rupert! I didn’t expect you to remember after all this time. However, the reason I called was to see if I could get into my account again… It’s not for me; it’s for… someone important.”
“Operator? Information please. Yes, ST. Jude rehabilitation center please…” As Amen waited to be connected he listened for Luke. This was one thing he didn’t want Luke to hear. “Oh umm… yes Hello. My name is Joshua Goldensun. I called yesterday about coming in this morning… Yes that’s right. Well something’s come up at home and I’m not going to be able to come in until later this afternoon… Yes that’s ok. Yes can you please tell Dr. Steward that I’ll be coming in at that time please… Thank you. Ok see you then Ms. Stephanie.” Hanging up the phone he sat back in the position he was before and waited for Luke to come back down, to “wake him up”.
It took a little bit for Luke to get everything set up, but now Luke was certain he would have the funds for whatever would come his, or Amen’s, way. After putting his phone back and walking down to find Amen still where he had left him the DJ only gave a half hearted smile. Today he would lose Amen… for a while at least, and any time away from that man was far too much. Nonetheless, Luke straddled his lover as he sat back on the couch to lean in for a soft and pleasant kiss.
“Good morning,” the DJ almost sang when he moved away from Amen’s face. It wasn’t exactly good, but with Amen still there, it was pleasant.
“Took you long enough,” Amen said opening his eyes with a smile. Amen couldn’t help grab Luke’s hip with one hand while the other cradled Luke’s head as Amen gave him another kiss. “When are you gonna learn to put some pants on?” Amen said as he started to hear the complaints of the old woman out the window once again, and made a mental note to get some decent curtains when he got back. He smacked Luke lightly on the butt before leaning into his ear. “Go get dressed we have a lot to do before I leave this afternoon.”
It sent chills down Luke’s spine as he felt Amen grab his hip and he had to laugh slightly at Amen’s comment on his nudity. Normally, even on his own, Luke would always be wearing at least a shirt and shorts or pants, but with Amen he just didn’t feel the need to. With the smack on his back side the DJ gave a slight jump and he was pleased to be playful with Amen… until he mentioned leaving.
“Yeah,” Luke said before standing, “we do. There’s somewhere I have to go before you leave.”
He had been so willing to help Amen with anything, but now he wished he would have just kept his mouth shut, maybe then Amen would have stayed. Nonetheless, he didn’t have a choice in the matter now, Amen was going.
Luke slowly moved to the stairs again before calling back, “I need to stop by my bank before you go.” He paused then, thinking about what Amen had said the night before. “Afternoon?”
Amen got up soon after Luke but dragged behind because of his numb leg. “Yeah, did you think I was asleep the whole time you were upstairs? I called the center, and told them that I wouldn’t make it till later this afternoon. I hope you don’t mind. It gives us a little more time together.” Amen grabbed a hold of Luke’s waist and pulled him close. “I’m not gonna see you again for about 2 and a half months.” Amen hugged him close before letting go and walking up ahead of Luke, putting a little more sway into his hopping to get his love’s attention. Turning back he looked at Luke once more before running the rest of the way up and rummaging in his closet.
Finally deciding on a pair of tan cargo pants and a simple black t-shirt, he grabbed his dad’s old leather jacket to finish off the outfit. His severely fading hair was thrown back into it’s usual pony tail. Standing back up from brushing his teeth he smiled at himself. Luke was in for a shock when he was to come back. “You ready yet Angel?”
Asking if Luke would mind seemed stupid to him. Of course he wouldn’t mind, more time with Amen was all he wanted. He wanted nothing more than to continue to feel Amen’s arms around him and to do the same in return, but even as the other man went to get dressed Luke felt cold, like part of his soul was leaving with Amen. Nonetheless, he too went and readied himself, slightly more properly dressed then his usual jeans and a t-shirt, for more reasons then one, even his hair was properly combed for once. So when Amen asked if he was ready, he was easily able to reply with, “Sure, let’s go.” With that Luke walked for the door, motioning with his free hand for Amen to follow.
It was a short walk to the new garage where Luke kept his bike, being that the old place was too far to bother with. The metal door slid upwards, a rusty clacking sound with every joints movement. As Luke started up the bike he turned to look at Amen. “I hope you don’t mind,” he began, “but I thought we could go to the bank first.” He straddled the bike and passed Amen the helmet that his father had left for him.
Amen took the helmet and held it between him hands. He really didn’t want to put it on, because that would mean that hw couldn’t be closer to Luke. As he thought about leaving one more time he remembered where else he had to go before he left. “Luke… Umm.. After the bank can you take me to the corner of 10th and Oxford?” He let the question hang knowing that Luke probably didn’t want to go to a church, but at the same time he knew that the priests were probably starting to wonder about him. Finally, he moved and got on behind Luke, putting the helmet on grabbing hold of Luke’s hip to steady him self. “I love you,” he said through the plastic and padding.
There’s a church on 10th and Oxford… Luke grumbled in his thoughts, but gave a simple nod to Amen before putting his own helmet on. “Yeah,” he told Amen, “I’ll take you there.”
The bike then hummed to life and Luke looked back slightly with as best a smile as he could muster. “I love you too Amen,” he said gently. With that he turned around and the bike took off.
It was rather far to the bank, almost into the suburbs, but the bank was clearly made to be seen from the city and the quaint houses that lived beyond it. It stood over tent stories high with big, bold, gold lettering that spelled out ‘Hartington Bank’.
As soon as the bike stopped two men rushed out to the bike, one of them being the man that Luke had addressed as Rupert on the phone. He was a man in his late fourties, wearing thick glasses and with a slight limp.
“Master Lucas!” Rupert shouted as the DJ set his helmet down on the seat of his bike. “Master Lucas, everything is ready for you and I have your account number here,” he stated as he took out a small folded envelope, which he handed to Luke. “I informed your parents of the account activity and your father has added all the money from your stocks.”
As soon as Amen took of his helmet he saw the two men and the first thought was What the fuck? Are they attacking? He kind of stepped and hid behind The shorter man, mostly because he saw that Luke now stood more confidently then he had ever seen before. When the older man spoke, Amen couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Master… Stocks…? Amen about chocked on the air he breathed. He stared in disbelief at the old man and at Luke. “I have a lot to learn apparently,” he mumbled under his breath. He felt instantly criticized even though no one was paying attention to him and stepped back to fix his hair that the helmet had messed up.
This wasn’t exactly how Luke wanted to introduce Amen to his lifestyle, but it had already taken place and he would just have to explain while getting the money needed. With a slight smile at Amen with his comment, Luke replied with, “I hoped it would be slightly more subtle than all of this.”
Luke then turned to Rupert and the younger accountant at his side, who resembled something close to a small mole with his round rimed glasses and his short stature. “Thank you Rupert,” he said politely before Amen caught his eye again. He gave another simple smile over his shoulder and grabbed Amen’s hand in his own, which kept Amen from fidgeting. “I think however, that we should proceed inside. I don’t want to draw so much attention to myself.”
So with that Rupert and the smaller accountant bowed to Luke and lead him and Amen into the building. The building alone was massive and a good deal of the floors were used only for a decorative ceiling, which bore a large crest, which Luke said was his family’s coat-of-arms. As they walked past the other clerks every single one seemed to know who Luke was.
“How much do you plan to take with you Master Lucas?” Rupert questioned as he headed for the vault.
Luke then turned back to Amen. “Well Amen?” he asked.
Hearing his name Amen snapped his attention back to the small group. Since Luke had grabbed his hand he had been completely silent, like a little kid. When Luke had pointed out that the sign on the ceiling was his family’s, Amen stared at it imprinting bits and pieces to his memory for future use. “Huh… Oh…” He looked at the floor in disappointment. He leaned in closer before answering. “They said 10 thousand up front… I told you it was expensive.” He whispered in Luke’s ear. Amen hated being in this place. He didn’t belong. This was someone else’s world. The spit and shine polish was almost enough to make him sick. Yeah the cathedrals he visited were that way but it seemed different. This was cold… at least the church had a warm light with all the candles and saints looking down.
Again Luke’s sight turned to Rupert. “Well,” he said, “then that’s what we’ll need. Rupert, I’ll need ten thousand dollars out for the time being.”
“Certainly Master Lucas,” said Rupert, and he and the accountant walked off to get the money.
Luke half laughed at Amen saying that was expensive. Even though he lived a simple life, Luke wasn’t that simple at all. So, while Rupert was off with the accountant Luke turned to Amen and whispered right back into his ear. “Amen,” he said quietly, “this is why I said that money wasn’t a problem. You know the name of this bank? That’s my real last name. Manichart was just something I came up with so I wouldn’t have to deal with all my parents shit. In this bank account alone, I have over fifteen million dollars. I also have accounts in a few other countries, which equal up to about thirty million. So if you ever need money, I have it.” With that he gave Amen a quick peck on the cheek and turned back to Rupert who was coming back with a card, instead of a briefcase full of cash.
All Amen could do was stand there… Frozen. His eyes were wide and his mouth was bobbing open and closed. Forty-five MILLION dollars!!!! Holy FUCK!!! When Rupert came back he finally closed his mouth for the last time. He barly even noticed when Luke kissed him on the cheek.
“Here you are Master Lucas,” he said handing over the card. “Everything you will need. Is there anything else?” Rupert gave a deep bow.
Luke bowed slightly in return. “No,” replied the DJ, “thank you for taking time out of your day for me Rupert.”
“Of course Master Lucas.” Then Rupert and the accountant walked off, back to their normal duties and Luke turned back to the door, handing the card over to Amen, before kissing him on the cheek again.
“I love you Amen.”
Amen didn’t notice anything that was going on around him. The same thing just kept scrolling it’s self through his head. Forty-five MILLION dollars!!!! Holy FUCK!!! . He didn’t even notice anything that Luke did. Amen knew he had to replay to something but nothing came out of his mouth. His brain had just shut down, his body moved only with prompting form Luke, but things like his breathing had stopped.
At first Luke simply went for the door, but when Amen didn’t respond he turned back and found his lover’s face practically turning blue. In a panic he moved Amen out onto the steps just outside the bank and sat him down. His blue eyes looked worriedly into Amen’s while he knelt down in front of the almost catatonic man whose face he held in his hands.
“Amen!” he said in a loud whisper. “Amen! Talk to me! Please! C’mon, breathe! Amen! What is it?! What’s wrong?! Amen!” The last part had come out as an actual shout. It was clear that Luke was almost about to cry and he grabbed at Amen’s shoulders tightly. “Amen breathe!”
Amen gasped at the order from the man in front of him. Still he stared no really seeing Luke. “45 million dollars,” he whispered, chocking on the words as he started to hyperventilate. “Holy fuck, 45 million…” was all that he could get out. His brain was still trying to process everything that Luke had told him. He was sleeping with a millionaire. He just couldn’t fathom it. He just kept repeating the words.
With Amen continually muttering how much money Luke had, the DJ panicked and grabbed at his lover’s face again. “Amen,” he said, his eyes seeming a little fiercer than before, “you can’t tell anyone, so please keep quiet about it, okay?” But the question was lost when Luke found his lover hyperventilating. It just didn’t make sense to Luke, clearly because he had been like that his entire life. So he still tried to shake Amen, his eyes fixed on those before him. “Please Amen,” he said, “it’s just money. I need you to calm down. Amen, just calm down.”
Amen finally started to understand what Luke was saying to him. “Luke the only time I have even thought about that much money was when we were snowed in at home. We were playing monopoly. Luke, orange bills can’t buy you anything other then little green houses.” Amen’s breath started to slow but he still had a panicked look on his face as if he were about to pass out. “Hartington… Luke I think your parents own my apartment building too… and… and…” He started to hyperventilate again. This time though his hands clutched at Luke’s jacket. His hands were so tight it was turning his knuckles white. “Holy fuck…”
This certainly wasn’t how he wanted to introduce Amen into his life before they had met, but he didn’t have much of a choice. “I’m still just Luke,” he said quietly as he held Amen to his chest, the card now slipped into his own pocket. “Amen, like I told you when we were in your home town, I’m not really a part of that family, not until they need an heir at least. Please Amen,” he paused, moving his hands to hold his lover’s gingerly, “look at me. I haven’t changed, I’m still just Luke Manichart.”
It made him want to cry. It confused him, he didn’t know why Amen had reacted that way, and it frustrated him. His hands moved again and he pulled Amen to him as close as he could. Sitting there he heard footsteps coming down the stairs. When he looked up he found one of the female clerks standing over him with a worried expression.
“Is everything alright Master Lucas?” she questioned in a timid voice. “Should I call for an ambulance perhaps?”
But Luke simply shook his head and the woman went back inside. Clearly Rupert had been too busy elsewhere and had sent the woman in his place. Nonetheless, Luke only worried about Amen. As he began to stand, he brought Amen up with him and looked him straight in the eyes. “I’m Luke Manichart,” he repeated, “no one else, okay?”
Amen’s breathing started to slow again as Luke held him close. His grip loosened to, but he didn’t know if it was because everything was sinking in or the fact that he was getting lightheaded. When he heard the woman, his grip tightened again. Yes, this was his Luke not the Master Lucas everyone called him. This was the man that was taking care of him. The world of the rich didn’t exist in this man. As Luke stood Amen whent willingly. All Amen could do was shake his head at Luke’s question. Finally he cought his breath and just stared at Luke. “It’s between you me and God… Speaking of which can we go to the church now?”
A slight laugh came from Luke as he nodded to Amen’s question. He was just pleased that his lover wasn’t going out of control anymore. Of course, he wasn’t happy with having to go to a church of all places, but as long as he was with Amen, he would endure it. With a quick last look at the building, Luke got back on his bike as he pulled his helmet over and down around his head. “I’ll take you,” he said, “but you can’t ask me to like it.”
“I’m not expecting you to.” Amen really didn’t know what Luke’s religion was and he had yet to see any sign of one. But at the same time he wasn’t going to push his on the man.
It took awhile to get to 10th and oxford, being that the intersection was toward the heart of the city and the bank was on the outskirts. When Luke stopped out front Amen got off and quickly took his helmet off. “You know you don’t have to come in with me, right?” Amen questioned. “If you want you can go home and I’ll see you there in a couple hours. I don’t know how long I’ll be, though.” As amen Waited Luke’s answer he turned to look at eh building. He hadn’t been there for a while and it hadn’t changed at all. The structure was just like all other old inner-city churches, plain on the outside but extravagant on the inside. The only clue to what it held was the bright stained glass that didn’t look like much from the outside but inside it made beautiful designs that Amen couldn’t wait to see again. Absent mindedly he his jacket he pulled the cross from under his shirt and rubbed the back with his thumb.
Upon reaching the massive building, Luke looked it up and down. He had been by the place a few times, but had never gone in. It wasn’t his type of place and even looking at it made him feel almost sick. Nonetheless, Luke answered to Amen’s statement rather quickly with, “I want to be with you as much as I can. If it means sitting in this… church, then I’ll do it.”
Luke watched quietly as Amen fiddled with his cross between his fingers. Things like that meant nothing to the DJ, but clearly it meant a great deal to Amen and he just kept his mouth shut about the whole thing. “So,” he said plainly before shoving his hands into his pockets, “are we going in or what?”
Amen smiled at Luke’s response and walked ahead of him. They didn’t get very far in before Amen was stopped by a man dressed in the black clothing of a father. “Hola Joshua. Como estas?”
Amen looked at the man and nodded. “Bien, Padre. E tu?”
The man Laughed. “Good, your Spanish is still as broken as ever I see. But still it is improving. Little Josephina will be pleased.”
“How is she by the way? Sorry, I haven’t been in to see them. I’ve been busy. Oh, by the way this is my friend Luke.” Amen was almost embarrassed that he had forgotten to include his lover in the conversation. “Luke this is Padre Rodriquez. He’s visiting from South America, with some kids.” Amen hated to call them orphans though that was what he knew they were.
“Nice to meet you Luke. It’s good to see Joshua has someone he can call a friend. Well I’ll let you get back to your, day but be sure to come see the kids before you leave, will you?” With a final nod the man left and headed into the basement.
Amen just nodded in return before heading into the actual cathedral, to pray for a while. Before he actually sat down in one of the pews though he turned to Luke and looked him strait in the eye, “You can go wander around if you want. I have a feeling this isn’t your thing. I’ll come look for you when I’m done, okay?”
Luke really didn’t know how to react to the ‘Padre’ as Amen had called him and remained silent while Amen and the man talked. When he was addressed, he simply nodded down slightly. “Nice to meet you,” was all that came from the DJ.
When the father had gone, Luke followed Amen closely while he looked around at the structure. It was as massive on the inside as it was outside, possibly even more so and this alone made Luke feel out of place. Slowly, his hands moved out of his pockets and he crossed his arms firmly over his chest, as if to defend himself from the holiness of it all. Nonetheless, when Amen asked him if he would like to look around, Luke shook his head and followed Amen into the pew. He didn’t know anything about prayer or anything that had anything to do with this type of religion, but he wanted to stay close to Amen, as if to keep away from being converted by someone else.
“I’ll just sit with you,” he said quietly.
Amen just touched Luke on the arm before crossing himself and kneeling. He used his cross as a kind of rosary, holding it in is clasped hands, his breathing evened out as his face fell in to a clam state. His prayers were more of a conversation in his head more than anything else. He felt his session was long but really it wasn’t long enough, for he hadn’t been to visit in a long time. Amen didn’t go to confession, not since he was 17 and his priest had betrayed him. He never ask for forgiveness for anything either, He never felt he did anything truly evil. Everything had a purpose and was in it’s place for a reason. He did however thank God for things, in this case it was Luke who he glanced at and smiled before going on. Only at the end did his face finally fall into a frown. Lord I ask for two things. One is to help me heal myself for Luke and second is to protect and keep Luke while I’m away. “Amen,” was all he said the entire time. Crossing himself again he stood and touched Luke on the shoulder before nodding to the door. “I have to go to see the kids before I leave though.”
While Amen knelt, Luke sat in the pew, his arms still crossed over his chest. With his lover praying the DJ’s eyes dropped slightly to look at the place where his Hamsa was under his shirt. All of this made him wonder what he himself actually believed. There was no fate, no destiny, just luck and ways to shield one form evil, but beyond that he prayed to no god, nor did he fully believe that there was one or many. His mind wandered about silently and only the word “Amen” brought him back. To him, it was just Amen saying his own name, it took a moment to remember that people that prayed like that always added that to the end, after all he had made a joke about it when the two of them had first met.
When Amen said he would need to go see the children Luke readily followed him, almost like a little dog follow its master. “Apparently you’re the popular one here,” he said with a smirk.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Amen replied. It didn’t take long with the children. Only a girl about 4 years old was the one that paid the most attention to the couple. Amen had introduced her as Josephina. She instantly attached her self to Luke, though when color caught her eye she pulled at Luke’s shirt collar to examine the Hamsa. Like a lost dog she looked up at Luke with the question “What is it?” on her face.
Luke was taken aback by the small child’s questioning and after remembering the mention of Spanish, Luke did his best to make it as simple as possible in English. “Makes evil go away,” he said, though even that seemed rather complex, but Luke didn’t really know how to explain it otherwise. He certainly could have in Spanish, being that he knew it quite well, but he figured it best to leave out his past after all that he had shown Amen already. Still, he looked at Amen in confusion, as if he too was asking for a better way to explain.
Josephina under stood what Luke had told her… At least evil and go away. But she still looked at Amen for clarification. He smiled at her as he got down on her level and pointed towards his own eye. “God’s eye.” Was all that he said, and it sent her into smiles and the urge to touch it more.
“Ojo ante Dios!!!” She was thrilled at the symbol. But soon she lost interest and was just content to just show Luke around until Amen said that they had to go. “No…quedarse, Luke… quedarse.”
“We’ll be back… I promise.” Amen was hurt that he had to leave but they were running late already and he couldn’t wait another day to go or he knew he wouldn’t. This time though Amen couldn’t provide a translation and had to rely on the priest for it. All he could hear was her crying as they left. “I hate having to leave,” was all Amen said as they got to the bike to go home. Amen still had to grab his things before heading to the Center.
It took a little to get Luke to leave. Something in him felt bad about leaving as well, not only because of the crying child, but because it meant that Amen would be leaving soon. As Luke got back on the bike he had to pause, looking back at his lover before he dropped his foot down forcefully on the starter. He hoped that something would change the taller man’s mind, even when Luke was the one paying for everything. It was like he hadn’t woken from a dream and hoped that when he did Amen would be lying in bed right next to him.
The only thing that kept Amen from crying himself was the thought of a life with Luke when he got back. No drugs, no abuse, only love, and Luke next to him. His life would be happier and a lot less complicated. Yes he would have some things to get used to but he could deal with that on his own. “I love you,” “Thank you,” and “I’ll call,” were the only things Amen could get out and not cry as he finished packing and finally left to catch the last bus that was headed in the same direction that he was going. It would be over 2 months before he saw his lover again and he just hopped that he would be a better man when that time came… And that Luke would still be there for him to come back to.