The poems entered in the poetry comp.

Angst
Use me and abuse me
I will thank you for it
For I am so pathetic and sad
That I will reach for you
With broken and bloody fingers
Clawing at this depraved contact
Because I need it so badly
To convince myself that I exist.

Nicole M Randall
Copyright ©2007 Nicole M Randall


Emotional Abuse
Tears run deep In emotional scars
A prisoner kept Behind invisable bars

The man who abused me Welcomed with a smile
When I finally left him I was looked at with bile

The man who adored me With frowns was met
On viewing my bruises All martial artists get

My husband does not beat me I told them with a glare
He is sweet and wonderful And treats me with care

For leaving my abusive ex I was scorned
He said horrible things I said but they yawned

To divolge the extent Of my pain I was forced
Before my current partner By my friends was endorsed

Emotional abuse is Most times neglected
Yet they think a bruise Means abuse is detected

Why the good man I Was forced to defend
Yet I was expected to stay with the bad till the end


Nicole M Randall
Copyright ©2007 Nicole M Randall


Poetry.com asked for a new unpublished poem and this is what I came up with.

Symbiosis

Like us it exhales
The rhythm of life
Clear to those who look
Gently swaying in a light breeze

Capillary action defying gravity
The sun brings photosynthesis
Nutriants from roots to leaves
Like blood being pumped around a body

It's heart is the earth and the air
The rain it's tears of joy
It is yin to our yang and knoledge arcane
It is a tree




[Other poems of mine]


Early Lesson
---------------

To let someone close to you
Is to become vunerable
To become vunerable
Is to invite pain and betrayal
When those who are meant to protect you
Abuse you
You are better off alone. 


The illusion of love
-------------------------

Once I beheld the illusion of love
I Believed that if I just tried a little harder
I could make a relationship work
But I could not fix what was broken
Love can not bloom when it is fertalized
With insecurity and suspission
It only withers and dies
When you hate yourself
You can not love another
You detest the one who loves you
For who would love a worthless creature?
You will only suffer and fade
Becomming an echo of yourself
When the heart of the one you love
Is filled with fear
You will never succeed because
Fear can only be conqured by being faced
Not avoided and one who hates themself
Would never face their fears
Only project them on to you
So they will fail but remain blameless
When you leave trying to salvage what is left
Of your heart 

[3 Poems as requested by another poet.]
1. Love

trickle, winding its way towards a larger flow
twisting and turning eventually merging
rapids and white water
cascadeing water falls
violent bubbles and sweeping currents

slowing, calming, moving to still water
deep and cool, clear and clean
meandering river
broard and proud
dispersing into the ocean, then lost.

2. Oranges

Tangy, colour
bitter or sweet
round or juice
watered down or pips
Name is discriptive twice.

3. Snakes

Smooth and glittering
slipery but not wet
brown,green and grey.
Bright colours are danger
thick and thin, my finches gone away

climbing the corner
slipped between the bars of the cage
bronze glittering in the light
my children sad and filled with rage.

He came and he ate
but could not leave
his scaley head
I would like to cleave

Nevwer before or sence
did he show his face
No more finches for me though
just in case. 


[Now for something lighter]

Drunken Poetry

A flask of lambruska
Peach and pare pie.
My ex-boyfriend's mat
And a tear in my eye.
Tamara is dying
Needs a gab in the bum.
Purple pare chunks on
The gift from his mum.
It's a pitty she's dead
But I can't help but laugh.
Lambruska and pie
Made poor Mara barf.

Home

Loony, loony, loony bin
The place where logic is a sin.
Strange to others this place be
Familure and home it is to me.


[These are a little more emotional but hay, poetry is theropy for me.]

Would You?

If I told you that you had three days to save me form myself would you?
Would you even care?
Would you rush to find me like a knight in shining armour crossing land and sea to reach me?
Could you do that?
If I knew I was losing the battle against myself could I trust another to fight for me?
Would you fight me?
Or would you let me drown in the sea of darkness that fills my soul and breaks me apart?

If I told you I needed pain so I knew I was really alive would you oblige me?
Would you hurt me?
Could you punish me for all the wrong I have done so I no longer feel the guilt from it?
Would you be my Master?
If I cried and screamed so that the only thing to fill my ears was the echo of my own voice
Would you cover my mouth with your lips?
Or would you walk away and leave me in the shadows that vibrate with the agony of my existence?

If I told you that you only had three days would it be long enough?
Would it?
Could you take me away from myself so I can no longer feast upon my own heart?
Would you touch it?
If I gave it to you would you keep it safe or would you squeeze the life out of it like everyone else?
Would it be safe?
Or would it be my last act of desperation as I destroy myself because I was never worthy of love anyway?




The Storm

I watch as storm clouds gather and blot out the sun
Darkness creeps form corners to fill the room
Plunging me into shadows
I cannot bring back the light no matter how hard I try
The clouds are out of reach

I listen as thunder follows the lightning
Hear the rumble roll around the mountains
Vibrating my soul
I put my hands over my ears but it does not dull the noise
The thunder still rumbles

The lightning strikes illuminate all my faults
The cruel harsh light accentuating every flaw
Clear for me to see
I close my eyes but the light cuts through my eyelids
My image still there

Can I weather this storm that approaches?
Will I survive its winds of truth and raid of sorrow?
Will I still stand?
When the violence is over will I remain or cease to be,
Torn apart and destroyed by myself?




My wish

Cold silence slowly creeps up my spine
The darkness folds me in its depths
This slowing breathy cadence is mine

The steady beating of my heart fades out
A lifetime full as sorrow and regrets
What lay ahead was only fear and doubt

I feel myself floating through the thickest mist
All my worries have now gone
Pooling in a red lake form my wrist

My essence is free to rise again
A new mortal coil I will don
No longer will my tears fall like rain.

I will sleep in death’s embrace
Until the wheel has turned
In the mirror a different face

At least that is my final wish








This is an abstract poem or prose as some call them inspired by my role play with [nathie]
[The King finds a sex slave half dead in a market and buys them for 6 gold coins. What the King does not know is they are soul mates and falls madly in love with the slave. The Death/ War God threaten to wipe out the entire Kingdom unless the King sacrifices the one he loves the most by cutting out their heart. In an act of Devine cruelty the War God curses the King to forever seek out his soul mate and murder them with his own hands. Every reincarnation they try to cheat fate and live happily together but every incarnation they fail. Doomed forever to kill that which he loves the King's soul and that of his true love live forever in darkness and heartache, waiting for the time when love with prevail and they can grow old together. Because of the slave’s golden blonde hair the King nicknames them his sunshine.]

Kill the sun

Chains clank against rock as I press my lips to yours.
I close my eyes and try to imagine there is no metal against your skin or stone against your back.
You said I was your light in the darkness, you are my sunshine.
If the sun did not rise tomorrow I would not dwell in darkness as long as you are by my side.
Now duty and justice dictates I must kill the sun and remove it’s once beating heart.
Though the light continues to shine, my eyes and soul are blind to it and darkness consumes me.
Your death cry still rings in my ears and the smell of your last breath fills my nostrils.
The sticky warmth of your blood is a scarlet cloak upon my flesh.
I close my eyes and try to picture your smile but it has forever faded like my desire to live.
I have killed the sun and the flowers of my heart will wither and die without its warmth.
How could such a thing be done you may think?
With a blade of love and a kiss goodbye that is all it takes to kill the sun.




Again inspired by the characters in my role play with [nathie] this time it is song lyrics, no music as yet.

6 GOLD COINS
6 gold coins bought you to me upon that day
The angel of death crouched beside you
His whisper in your ear
As upon the scorching sand you lay

Now I clutch them to my chest
But these 6 gold coins can never bring you back
(Never, never)
They bought you to me upon that day
But these 6 gold coins can never bring you back
(Never)

Within my heart you seemed to shine brighter than the sun
Blue eyes so deep that I drowned in them
It only took one look form you
And the tapestry of destiny was done.

Now I clutch them to my chest
But these 6 gold coins can never bring you back
(Never, never)
They bought you to me upon that day
But these 6 gold coins can never bring you back
(Never)

Happiness was fleeting as our all consuming love
Was sacrificed for the sake of peace
Your blood still stains my hands
As you look down on me from above

Now I clutch them to my chest
But these 6 gold coins can never bring you back
(Never, never)
They bought you to me upon that day
But these 6 gold coins can never bring you back
(Never)
Now I clutch them to my chest
But these 6 gold coins can never bring you back
(Never, never)
They bought you to me upon that day
But these 6 gold coins can never bring you back
(Never)

6 gold coins
These blood stained 6 gold coins.