Since I have some time to spare...

I've started a new clear skin regimen for my... skin (obviously). I've had to deal with severe acne since I was about 12 or so. Very bad cysts, and large, painful pimples. It turned into pretty light/moderate acne around 8th grade and has sort of stayed that way since, and I have never experienced acne scars, but the acne still caused my self-esteem to drop like a dead man with cement feet dropped in a river. I still have some psychological effects of the acne (because let's face it, in 7th grade, only the uber losers had any acne, everyone else was still enjoying their childhood), but have been toughing it out.

I was put on birth control to control some of the worst of the breakouts, and it's proven to be helpful, but doesn't completely eliminate acne.

So this new skin clear regimen's been working pretty well so far. I am expecting my skin to get 'bad' soon enough, bringing out the stuff that's been hanging out under my skin for a while, but we'll see if that will happen. Otherwise, my skin's glowing from all the freaking BP... anyway, no new breakouts so far and some of the older scars are fading.

Not only has my self-esteem risen but I feel better actually going to school and going out in general (I go to a prep school. Everyone has dermatologists and perfect 100% clear skin ): ). I don't need to worry if people are staring at the acne or at me...

Ryan and I got back together, and I can't really discuss how or why, but I can eat and sleep and live normally again (as can he).

Finals are up this week so my participation in WC is gonna be limited to posts and messages and probably a 20 minute cruise every now and then. I'll probably stay logged in (as I usually do), but be AFK and doing other things (like... 'studying'). So if you don't get an answer out of me right away, that would be why.

I'll cruise around every now and then, though.

Well, Ryan and I talked online yesterday. I requested my stuff in a box left on my porch before I got home from school (though I didn't go to school), but he never showed up and I have not had the chance to talk to him again.

We did talk last night, though. Basically it was, "I don't understand why I did it. I can't understand it." WELL... I asked him if he wanted to talk our problems out. He didn't, he dumped me, and now he does. Go figure. Before he left it was, "Can we talk tomorrow?" ... yes, but only if you give me my stuff back. Half my wardrobe is at his dorm, among movies, games, and my GC system.

I guess we weren't that good of a match, but I miss him.

Katie took me to the mall to be nice. We had dinner at Olive Garden and then we went and saw Family Stone. It was pretty good, but I couldn't enjoy it as much as I wanted to. After that we went to try on dresses at Mariposa. I found one that I wanted very badly, and when Katie saw it, "Oh, what a beautiful prom dress." So much for a good self-esteem. Prom = date and I can't even hold on to a boyfriend.

Came home. Depressed, as usual. Tired, even though I was in bed till 2:30 in the afternoon. Ate some ice cream that I hated and ended up falling asleep. I woke up from a dream and spent about another hour vomitting.

I just feel so unhappy.

Welcome back Moorn!

Well, now all that aside... I'd like to just say... we really should all try and get along. When things get heated and we get mad, humans just don't communicate right, and nothing productive gets done.

For people who want to get involved, do so, but do so rationally.

If you have a problem with the administration, talk to someone you trust about it. I personally am always here to listen to people who might have a problem with a rule or a concern about someone's behaviour. Just because I have a mod badge on my house doesn't mean my ears are shut or my eyes are closed. I'm still a human, I still listen, and I will be as level-headed as I possibly can.

Sometimes... things just don't roll off the fingers right.

So let's all try and get along and not make anyone feel like a doo-doo head.

I'm having a really hard time boosting my energy. Ryan came over and refused to be hugged or kissed. He looked pale.

And then he dumped me.

Nearly 6 months together and suddenly, "You bore me, goodbye." I knew our relationship would not last that long, but the reasons why he dumped me... Because I'm 16, because I have no car, no job, because I was so in love with him. Because he didn't feel the same.

Well, SORR-EE for wasting your fucking time.

He had me -- ALL of me -- my time, a good fucking portion of my money, my virginity, my love, my happiness... and then I bore him. Then I am too selfish. Then I am too wrapped up in 'my' life... well, sweet baby, my life was yours too.

Makes me sound like I'll be 16 forever. Maybe I will, just to piss him off.

... I still want him back.

Heylo! I'm going to give out some mad props to Free to Write. A growing community that I hope some of you with more adult tastes will feel welcome to join! Hold contests, compete in them, or just lounge around and look at the advice pages. It is still in its growing stage, so it's a little mellow for the moment, but if we all get active in it, we'll make it something big :).

Current contests are:

Revenge - hosted by [Kuzco]
Unusual Creatures - Hosted by [Font]

Be sure to join and have some fun, eh?!

Fall Out Boy!

Don't think of yourself as 'nice' or 'mean'. Think of yourself as 'just' or 'unjust'.

I'm kind of bummed out, right now. I went online to look at concert tours by Fall Out Boy (www.falloutboyrock.com), and I am signed member and do have a membership with the band, but I could not buy pre-sale tickets online (I was never sent a password and the sale ended at 10:00pm last night). I went to check the prices today and which tickets were available for the Tacoma Dome concert, but the floor pit has been completely bought out. I don't think I would have been able to go anyway -- tickets were cheap, but 30 bucks per, and I live about 10 hours away from Tacoma.

I hope that they will eventually play in Spokane. I'm sure my parents would let me get some tickets then. I really want to see this band play!

For anyone out there looking for some serious inspiration through music, look into <a href='http://www6.falloutboyrock.com/falloutboy/home.php'>Fall Out Boy</a>.

They're not emo. They're not pop. They're not heavy metal. They're punk rock, and they jam my shams and rock my socks. If you dunno what punk rock is, it's good music. I just CAN'T get enough of them. Blew some money on buying their CDs.

I had to. I liked them so much, it just felt wrong to be listening to a pirated copy.

And, Patrick is adorable. He's got an absolutely gorgeous mouth full of gorgeous teeth. Looks like my boyfriend.

The lyrics from "Under the Cork Tree" are truly inspiring. I got a taste of some of their older stuff, and ran to Amazon to buy the CDs. -Amazing.- I cannot wait to hear them! The music videos help too.

I've got an urge to write about a groupie now. Blah.

Whoo, I've launched my first contest here on WritersCo, titled as the 100 Words contest. Writer a 100 word paragraph (no more, no less), with no repetitions of any words! It's a fun exercise. Check it out if you want.

Let it be known that it is -very- important to keep all works copyrighted, and to keep an extra one with data (date written, started, finished, any time you worked on it), in case you need it to prove you wrote it.

As for that, hello!

Hm... a blog... Don't really need another one of these, but that's okay.

Online members: 1

That's me. Oh yeah baby.