What He Said Results

How I judged. I assigned the following point values to each of the criteria previously listed for this event. In one instance, I combined two criteria for one 30 point catagory. I assigned no value to the deadline.

Criteria


1. 500-2000 words, Primarily dialog. You may have a few short paragraphs to move things along and keep action going. 0-20pts


2. Use the word 'said' no more than 3 times in the passage. If You do use the word 'said', it should be preceeded by or followed by an adverb. Ex: Lara said sheepishly, Larry compliantly said. 0-30 pts


3. Don't overuse other words just to compensate. We don't need 1000 words of people 'shouting' back and forth. That's just as bad as over use of 'said'. Try to mix it up some. 0-20 pts


4. While it is normally acceptable to write dialog without any descriptive verbiage at all, please don't over use this approach here. 0-20pts


5. Use any theme or genre but keep it clean enough for 12 year olds please. 0-10 pts

You'll notice that I didn't judge based on things like creativity, grammar, whether it was a new piece or not or whether it was written in classic style with quotation marks. This is because these things were not listed as criteria. (live and learn for me :D ) I did however resort to a tiebreaker based on spelling between two people that each had a sub-total of 99 points! Talk about close! Ehem. Anyway, here we go...





[Kuzco]

1. 1155 words. Check. One short paragraph without dialogue, but it led up to dialogue. 20 of 20

2. Ok, NOT counting the 2 uses of the word 'said' withing the dialogue itself, there were 3 instances of 'said' in the descriptors. While that is within the limit, 2 of these instances did not make use of creative adverbs to differentiate them as required. 10 of 30

3. 'Asked' was used several times but with this being a longer piece than the other 2, plus the fact that there were a lot of questions being asked, I felt you mixed it up well. You did repeat a couple other descriptors but again, not right on top of one another. 15 of 20

4. There were a couple of instances of dialogue without verbiage but nothing that screamed overuse. 20 of 20

5. You wanted to swear, didn't you? ;) But you didn't. Nice use of restraint. 10 of 10

Other thoughts: Quite an interesting debate between the two of them. I enjoyed the read.

Final score 75 of 100 3rd Place

Prize: The Bronze Medal






[Akayume]

1. 508 words- check. That meets the requirements. 2 short paragraphs without dialog. Definately qualifies as 'a few' or less. 20 of 20

2. Use of said- zero times! 30 of 30

3. The verb 'shouted' was used twice but not right on top of itself. That was the only repetition of anything. Good job mixing things up! 19 of 20

4. No instances of dialog without verbiage. 20 of 20

5. While it was a death scene, it was done without any gore or graphic descriptions of the violence of that act. I think most 12 year olds could handle that. At least I hope so. 10 of 10

Other notes: A job well done. This was a nicely written, classic vampire tale. It was easy to read and kept my interest throughout.

Sub score 99 of 100 (Tied with [Mister Saint] at this point)

Tie breaker: Spelling for minus points (-1 point for each instance)

"Her eyes, red and fierce, held him, bound him to her. He couldn't move, he couln't leave. He was hers.

"Simain......Simian....Simian......"

'couldn't' was misspelled. 'Simian' was misspelled -2 points

Final score 97 of 100 2nd Place

Prize: The Silver Medal






[Mister Saint]

1. Word says 502 words. That's enough. :) 3 Paragraphs without dialog, though one was very short. 20 of 20

2. Use of said- zero times! 30 of 30

3. 'replied' was used twice but in different ways and not one instance after the other. Good job mixing it up. 19 of 20

4. No instances of dialog without verbiage. 20 of 20

5. Check 10 of 10

Other notes: Loved it. Very nicely written. You managed to convey a feeling of heavy action while keeping the focus on the dialogue. Nice ending!

Sub score 99 of 100 (Tied With [Akayume] at this point)

Tie breaker: Spelling for minus points (-1 point for each instance)

"Son," the transmission ordered, "if you do not follow the command I've given to you, then you'll be court martialed to the full ext--"
'court martialled ' was misspelled -1point

Final score 98 of 100 1st Place

Prize: The Gold Medal

And...I will read and critique a piece of writing of your choice (up to 10,000 words) by the end of Feb 2006



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