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2006-01-25 Kiddalee: This is quite inspiring. I have a story idea in my head now. 2006-01-25 Kuzco: Hehehe, that's one hell of comment! Thanks very much for the crit Kiddalee :D.[Kuzco]: 212.Rhimy things.March of the monsters
Rating: 0.00 Uploaded by: Created: 2006-01-14 22:48:16Previous:Keywords: March of the monstersLicense:Free for private usageThis one is like a ballad about a fictitious time where the monsters rose up to fight for us humans.
Hope you like it.
March of the monsters.
From no man’s land we came.
From the dark corners of the world,
Which will never be the same.
We will fight for purity all over the globe
Fight for the human kind, die for all life
From caves and tunnels, other realms
Castles and swamps and dark forests
We are here!!!
Myths, legends, monsters and sorcerers
WE ARE HERE!!
Oppression shall end, freedom and rest
Happiness and joy, life shall be gained.
Through battle and blood
Death and misery
WE will achieve victory
So man your weapons fiends, and follow me
Towards hell and heaven, fight for me!
Towards war and battle, get victory!!!
Say it with me Fight!
FIGHT!
Let your foes tremble before your might, FIGHT!
Till the END!
WE will fight! Fight together and win together!
Till the end!! FOREVER!!
Let our enemies know, we march upon them, that doom marches!
Let it be known, they will die by our actions!!
WE will fight, fight, fight!!
We will fight, FIGHT FIGHT!!!
From no man’s land we came.
From the dark corners of the world,
Which will never be the same.
We will fight for purity all over the globe
Fight for the human kind, die for all life
It struck my heart pretty good. It sounds like a pep talk from a captain, but at the same time, there seem to be parts where the crowd is expected to join in with him. I could picture the people shouting.
I could also picture the message running like a wave through people's hearts, like some kind of telepathy; they are speaking aloud, but at the same time, they are united.
Looks like the captain is a pretty gifted speaker, too, to come up with such rousing poetry on the spot.
This IS a story idea, but in rhimes and in fact, your instincts are right, the crowd DOES join him in some parts, 4 times actually, but it's not REALLY obvious nor do I want it to be. I like the reaction you had so I'm not touching a thing :D.
Overall, glad you liked it and thanks for the crit.
ps. if you ever write that story, let me know.