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[Kuzco]: 212.Rhimy things.March of the monsters | Rating: 0.00 |
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2006-01-25 Kiddalee: This is quite inspiring. I have a story idea in my head now.
It struck my heart pretty good. It sounds like a pep talk from a captain, but at the same time, there seem to be parts where the crowd is expected to join in with him. I could picture the people shouting.
I could also picture the message running like a wave through people's hearts, like some kind of telepathy; they are speaking aloud, but at the same time, they are united.
Looks like the captain is a pretty gifted speaker, too, to come up with such rousing poetry on the spot.
2006-01-25 Kuzco: Hehehe, that's one hell of comment! Thanks very much for the crit Kiddalee :D.
This IS a story idea, but in rhimes and in fact, your instincts are right, the crowd DOES join him in some parts, 4 times actually, but it's not REALLY obvious nor do I want it to be. I like the reaction you had so I'm not touching a thing :D.
Overall, glad you liked it and thanks for the crit.
ps. if you ever write that story, let me know.