[mousepoet]: 243 (Top Index)

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2005-12-30 22:55:14
To start it all off...


The way of words is a slippery path
Sometimes a dance, a waltz of slow grace
Sometimes a herd of suddenly galloping horses
Sometimes a wavering trail of ants on spindly legs
Across the bark of a tree

But words are also a nothingness
A lack of sound
When spread across a page of emptiness

A white vacuum, swallowing up shadows

(c) Emily Parrish 2005

2005-12-30 Emily: Hm... not much of a poetry-reader, but I did highly enjoy this. It has a sort of random rhythm.

I like the last paragraph more than the first, it seems to fit the poems title more, and hold more meaning. The only suggestion I would make is taking the 'But' out of 'But words are also a nothingness', and making 'sounds' 'sound'. Might make it flow a tad bit better. That second paragraph would go very well all by itself, too!

2005-12-30 mousepoet: I just came up with the title when I put it up here, I'll probably go back and change it, or leave it untitled. Thanks for critique! I really appreciate it.

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