[Child of God]: 416.Reflections.Birth Through Death

    I remember when I understood and experienced for the first time, what it truly was to give your life to God as a sacrifice. I had heard it often, as many Christians do, and believed that I had already made that sacrifice. Daily in prayer, I told God that my life was His, that I sought to do His will and trust in Him. In honesty, those were words of pleading. I wanted to give my life completely to God. I wanted to do His will and trust in Him. I wanted these things, because I did not yet have them. Seven years into my Christian walk, and I was still struggling with this basic Christian principle. It wasn’t until two weeks ago that I finally understood what it meant to offer yourself as a sacrifice to God.

    A very close friend of mine was scheduled for surgery two Fridays ago. The surgery was minor, just the removal of a kidney stone. Still, myself and others prayed all week that God would hold this friend through the surgery, and bring him through safely. That Friday I was also planning on heading home for a long-overdue visit with my parents. Before heading out that day, I prayed again that God would hold this friend and bring him through this surgery. Two hours into my three and a half hour drive, roughly when this friend was supposed to enter surgery, God interrupted my singing and told me to turn the radio off. Slightly annoyed but doing what I was told, I said another small prayer for my friend as I turned the music off. God had something He needed to talk to me about and lesson to teach that I wouldn’t soon forget.

   His main question to me was, “What is the value of a human life?” My response
was always along the lines that there was no value for life. Legalistically, one life for another can be the only ransom, since both are far above any value. After an hour of similar questions and similar answers, the real question came forth; “What would you do to save your friend’s life?”

   At this point, my friend would have been in the midst, if not nearing the end, of his surgery. Knowing this very well, the question scared me. What does God mean? Has something gone wrong? Strangely though, I did not feel anxious or worried. My friend was in God’s hands, and I had faith God would bring him through this. Unfortunately, this didn’t answer God’s question. “What would you do to save your friend’s life?”

Now I knew what God was getting at, and without hesitation, I responded that I would give my life for his, if that what was necessary to save him. The rest of the half an hour was spent with God questioning me on if my response was heartfelt and truthful; did I mean what I said, or was I just saying it because that is what I thought God wanted to hear? No, I meant what I had said. If God so demanded it of me, I would trade God my life for my friend’s without a second thought. Pulling in to the Tim Hortons where I was to meet my parents, I assured God for the last time that my response was truthful and sincere. If God demanded it, so I would do it.

“I am demanding it.”

  So He had it. Right then, I gave God my life in exchange for my friend’s. The entire ride from Tim Hortons to my house, another half an hour, I was expecting a car to hit mine. But one never did. Walking up town with my mother, I expected something to happen, but nothing did. That night, I was assured that my friend would be fine, and nothing more was said about the incident the rest of the weekend, save for once on the drive home on Sunday in which God reminded me “Your life is no longer yours, it is Mine.” Later that evening, all was revealed to me when I called his wife.

My friend had not gone into surgery. At 5 o’clock Friday afternoon, fifteen minutes after finishing the conversation with God, my friend had gone into septic shock. He spent most of Friday evening fighting for his life, with only a 15% chance of survival because it had hit near vital organs. As his wife related the details to me, I found myself asking God why I was still here, since the trade we had made was more real than I had ever imagined. God just smiled and told me in His still, quiet voice “What good are you to Me dead? I demanded your life for his, and you gave it. I never once demanded your death, only your life.”

Finally, I understood what it was to give to give my life as a sacrifice to God.