Fan-Fiction Database
Product's FanFiction

Characters/Original Story Line owned by ABC
Story by [Product of a Primal Urge]

Chapters

1. A Picture and a Bullet
2. Rough on Relations
3. Settling Soul and Relapses
4. Looking Glass Partner
5. Fine Print
6. Sinking Kisses
7. Killer Collage
8. Of Conferencing Hearts
9. Morning After
10. End Game

4:32 A.M. Monday- Case 17 days cold

Detective Kevin Ryan couldn't sleep any longer. He'd been fighting in and out of nightmares since he laid down at ten o'clock last night. Now, Kevin couldn't handle even thinking about slipping back down into visions of his sister, the woman on the street, or the note which was covered in blood in his dream. He pressed the remnants of sleep from his eyes with the heels of his hands before attempting to climb out of the bed. Kevin snatched up his shirt off of the floor and pulled it over his head before walking out to the living room.

The apartment was silent in the navy-blue dark of the early morning. Kevin was thankful for this as he was not in the best emotional state of being. He wasn't sure what he was going to do, but the small confines of the guest room were too close for his already cluttered mind. He chose to pace, seeing as it kept his body as occupied as his state of mind. There was room for pacing, behind the couch in that sort of empty useless space between an apartment's living room and the dining/kitchen area. It wasn't even enough to be called a hallway… His hands felt awkward hanging there so he wrapped his arms around himself and tucked his fingers under his arms. That helped a little.

Kevin had always been a more emotional person, or rather, a more emotional guy. Though he'd been good looking enough to fly through high school with the popular crew, he'd been the pretty boy not the manly athlete. Even his mother had described him as more sensitive than either of his sisters. Right now, that blanketing feel of emotion was creeping back up. It started low in his stomach- probably what woke him. But a feeling of cold, restricting hands moved from his lower stomach to strangle his lungs, throat and chest. Kevin decided pretty quickly that breathing was not all that overrated in the least. Not being able to breathe was too consuming and it was giving him a quick headache.

He needed to sit down or he might fall down, Kevin thought. The couch was close enough…barely. Falling onto it he was slowly coming to a realization. Kevin had not actually had a break down about his sister's case, not a real one. At the original murder it had been anger that had filled him and kept him from tears and grief. At the funeral Kevin had to be the strong one for their sister, Stacey, and so he'd tucked his grief into a little pocket in his chest away from his heart. Back at home Jenny hadn't been open to a break down. She'd remind him that he was a strong man who had a job to do and so he hadn't cried with her either. Then the case became overwhelming, filling his thoughts with revenge, and there wasn't room in his mind for actual grief. He hadn't given over to sadness; Kevin had been stuck in a perpetual circle of negation, unable to cry.

Then it hit him all of a sudden, too sudden to stop. He balked at the stark image of Karen lying dead in his mind's eye then shuddered with a heaved sob. Tears were pulsing from his glassy blue eyes, his arms were tucked around his middle gripping at his shirt, and his breathing was released from the taut hold in a quick thrust of inhales and exhales. Kevin tried to quickly quiet himself before his partner came out to see Kevin breaking down on his couch. He couldn't hold anything back though, no matter how he set his teeth against one another, his sobs were pulled from him loudly. It was like some invisible force reached down and grabbed hold of all of the pocketed grief and yanked it back out of his throat. Kevin started rocking, trying his damndest to push it all back in, to stuff it in the pocket in his chest and zipper it away forever.

Abrupt yet easy hands wrapped themselves around Kevin's upper arms and when he raked his gaze upwards from his lap he found himself staring through a curtain of water into milked-coffee eyes. Javier, damn it. "Kev?" his voice was swollen in sleep, gravel grating each syllable. "Hey, man, breathe for me, huh? Come on, take a breath. It's going to be okay; I'm right here for you."

Javier had wedged his way in between Kevin's knees and drawn himself up close to Kevin, as he knelt before him. Warmth eased between the two of them where their bodies were melted together. Kevin could feel Javier's breath, still heavy with mint-toothpaste, playing over the skin of his face as his partner tried to keep their eyes linked. "Javi," Kevin coughed out between the thrusting breaths. "I'm sorry…I- my chest hurts," was all he could muster from the thundering thoughts.

Javier's face was tight, fighting back anxiety as he held Kevin. The thumbs running over Kevin's arms in circles were leaving the quickest trails of warmth with coolness biting just after they moved away. "I know, Kev. I know." Then Kevin was pulled forward and into Javier's whole body. He nearly had his legs wrapped around Javier's thighs.

Kevin tucked his wet face into the crease of Javier's neck, where the collarbone stood out slightly. It was warm there and smelled like a mix of rich coffee and some spicy cologne. Though his tears were not yet done flooding his cheeks, Kevin's chest wasn't hurting so much. The comfort of arms, body heat and whispered nothings kept him from the physical pain of the breakdown. At this point, his dignity was no longer a question. Obviously, Javier didn't think any less of Kevin or he wouldn't be holding Kevin so tenderly. Kevin fisted his hands into the back of Javier's t-shirt to make sure they weren't going to be moving for a bit.

The restricting feeling in his chest cavity was moving lower again, rolling through his stomach before slowly dissipating and leaving behind a dull ache throughout Kevin's body. He couldn't pull back from Javier's arms yet and since his partner wasn't jumping back as if repulsed by the behavior, Kevin figured that was all okay. He just wasn't ready to give up the comfort of touching another human being while his grief was finally released.

When Kevin's head was settled back to a balanced equilibrium and his breathing was no longer constricted by metaphorical gripping hands, Kevin tightened into himself and loosed his abusive grip from Javier's shirt. He was able to pull back from his partner without the awkward pause, trip up, and sidling backwards that had occurred with most any lover Kevin had ever had. Javier didn't move far, the front of his thighs pressed into the edge of the couch from his kneeling position. He stayed there, staring up at his partner with concern thick in his eyes and the creased lines around his lips.

"I'm sorry-"

"Don't, Kev. Don't apologize for that."

"But I am," Kevin said while Javier overlapped-

"I'm not. Don't be stupid, bro. I get it." His finger twitched upward in objection, but he didn't get a chance to raise his hand fully and stop Kevin's words.

"It's weak."

"It's normal." Javier flicked a flash of a grin at Kevin.

"After this long?"

"Have you done this yet? I know you haven't." His brown eyes were dark, like uncrushed coffee beans, no longer the milked-coffee.

"I guess I needed it. I mean with Je-"

"Yeah, I know. But I'm not her."

"Yes, I know that. I like that. You're- well never mind." Kevin blushed.

"You don't want to say it?"

"Nearly ruined things already, I'll keep my thoughts to myself."

"I'd rather you didn't," Javier breathed.

"No, it's not a good idea," Kevin choked.

"I'd like to know. I have a right to know, I'm your partner."

"Exactly!" Kevin threw his hands up with the exclamation and sank further back into the couch. "That's just the reason that I can't."

Kevin had expected argument maybe, pushing from Javier to tell him what was going on. There would be yelling about trust, built up and broken. Maybe Javier would even use their living situation as blackmail. The quick press of heat and skin to his lips was not what Kevin expected. His breathing was stopped again, but this felt much better. Kevin worked his lips back, enjoying the full feel of Javier's lips against his own thin ones. The contrast drew them closer. Kevin allowed his thoughts to cease as he gave into the physical. The smell of Javier so close, the taste of toothpaste and salty tears mingled deliciously on their lips. Dipping his tongue across Javier's lower lip rewarded him with a shock of something warm and masculine- something very Javier.

There was a hand at the back of Kevin's neck, short clipped nails scraping so slightly over the skin at the nape. There was one on his thigh, burning its way through the thin pajama fabric. It all drew him forward and further into his partner. He needed to be closer and his hands found the same twisted place of fabric they'd been moments ago and gripped, pulling him further from his knees. He was sure that if he clenched his hand just a little tighter he would rip the fabric. He really shouldn't do that to Javier's clothes, even if the man needed help every now and again in the fashion department. Ruining clothes wasn't something Kevin liked to do. So he kept his hands steady, not tightening or letting up. He found himself at the edge of the couch, knees bent and heading for the floor, around Javier's crouched form.

Then, just as quickly as it started it was over. Javier broke the kiss with an abrupt jerk of his head backwards and a slight push of Kevin returning him to the engulfing couch cushions. Kevin panted and looked at him, Kevin's hands hanging loosely between them. Javier's hands were rubbing against his own thighs and his eyebrows were in a tight knot above squinting brown eyes. The only sound between them was their breath tearing fast at the still air around them.

"Javier…that was, um, did you mean to do that?" Kevin asked, his face constricting in defined lines of confusion.

"Yes, well no, I mean maybe." Javier shook his head and rocked backwards onto his bare heels. The shift in balance eased tension in his legs and put a few more inches of space between them. "I guess, yeah, I meant to. I mean I went along with it, I started it, didn't I?"

Kevin swallowed his hope in a small gulp and nodded. "Yeah. It was…amazing." Kevin's features darkened immediately. "Well I mean that, for a kiss it was pretty good. You're good at kissing. And this was all just a mistake I'm sure. I started it with breaking down on you. I shouldn't have left the room and dragged you into this and-"

Kevin's words were swallowed by Javier's lips once more. This kiss was quick, a forceful stop of words. When Javier pulled back this time, his hands remained on Kevin's legs and that tender burn was back as, it felt like, Javier's hands tried to burn through the pajamas to get to Kevin's skin. "You really need to learn when to spew and when to shut up. I meant it, and I'm glad you think I kiss good."

"Right," Kevin was struck silent this time at least.

"We should probably talk about what this all means, huh?" Javier was wavering on unsteady legs and tentative words as his eyes flickered back and forth between the bleary blue eyes of his partner.

Kevin nodded, reaching a hand up to push through his wavy brown hair. "Probably a good idea. And this wasn't my fault this time, so-" The trill of notes, indicating Kevin's phone was ringing from the kitchen counter, stopped him. "That's Stacey, her ring tone." He clamored to his feet, brushing past Javier gently so as not to knock him over. Rushing up to the counter he enclosed the phone in quick fingers and pressed the receiver to his ear. "Stacey?" he asked in a rush of breath. His head and heart were pounding as one, thinking of all the things that could have gone wrong. The note had been addressed to him, calling it a game, what if Stacey was seen as just another playing piece? Why didn't he think about this earlier? Damn it…

"Kevin, I um, there's a letter that I got. I was coming down to let Shakespeare outside and it was lying there, on the carpet like someone pushed it under the door." Stacey's voice was slow but shaky; she was trying not to freak out.

"What does it say?" Kevin asked grasping the phone and holding a look of such defined lines and a slanted frown that spoke of his wanting to be able to slip through the phone lines to her.

" 'Dear Stacey, I'd like you to join the game.' What game Kevin? What does he mean?" Stacey was panting heavily now and sounding like Kevin had felt with the invisible hands clenched round his lungs.

He let out an annoyed sound echoing a growl and turned to glance at Javier. Kevin's bright blue eyes held pleading in them and he lifted a hand, waving his partner over. "I need a police detail on Stacey, now. Can you get a hold of the Boston department for me?"

"Yeah, I got it bro," Javier said rushing off presumably to get his phone from his room.

Kevin flicked his eyes around the apartment, half expecting some psychopath to jump out of one of the darkened corners. He noted that the windows were letting in the pre-dawn light and the place wasn't so eerily silent as it had been earlier. Now the soft sound of slow early traffic and actual movement enveloped the house. Thankfully, "Does it say anything else, Stace? Is there a signature?"

"There's more, but what does he mean by 'game'?" she asked and Kevin heard rustling on the other end. Probably lifting the note again.

He didn't want to answer her, didn't want her to worry but she had to know. If there was a possibility that she could be a target, she had to know the intricate details. "There was another body, Stacey. A woman I'd met ended up dead - same scene as - as Karen's. There was a note from the killer this time - addressed to me and calling the murders a game." He waited for a minute, figuring on a quick breakdown from Stacey.

Of course it came in a cadence of both cries and yells. Somehow, Stacey even managed to read the rest of the letter in between curses and objections. The letter definitely outlined a threat to her, details of the case that only the police knew, such as Kevin's letter and that there were three very specific roses- two white and one red. It was all too clear that the killer had grown bored when the case went cold and was upping the ante.

Kevin swore to everything he would win whatever twisted game this guy was playing. "Sis, I need you to calm down. There's a cop on the way over. Are your doors and windows locked?"

Stacey choked through her tears, "Yes, they are."

"Good, good. Just stay on the phone with me and the cops should be there soon, all right? Nothing is going to happen. He's messing with me, not you. This is about him and me." Kevin had meant for those words to be for her…

10:00 A.M. Tuesday- Case 18 days cold

Kevin pulled open his door and stepped into the hall, smack into Javier. There was a warm press of bodies into one another, a quick tangle of legs, and a sharp mingling of breath before they both jumped backwards and muttered meaningless apologies at the same time. Kevin brushed his hands down his thighs, wondering if he should start…that talk. Something needed to be said about their shared moment, the one on the couch.

"I uh- sorry," Kevin coughed out a separate, second apology and let his eyes fall downwards.

"It's fine, bro." Javier moved away quickly, heading further down the hall. He shut himself in the bathroom and out of sight.

Great… Kevin had figured this would all be awkward. He hated when he was correct. Shaking his head, he headed out for the living room, as that had been where he'd intended on going before running smack into Javier. A little mindless television would do him good. He'd spent the majority of Monday on the phone with various police making sure that his sister was taken care of and the letter was sent to their lab team back here. Sometimes having his sister a state over was a pain in the ass. Well, a pain to his nerves was more like it. Flicking on some sitcom he fell into the laugh-reel, barely achieving a smile at the jokes. His fingers kept running back and forth over his phone, eyes flicking to it every few minutes in some tired expectation. Stacey was fine.

11:51 A.M. Tuesday-

"Kev?" Javier poked his head around a corner, looking in at Kevin stretched on the couch. When Kevin looked over at him, he continued. "I'm going out to pick up some food. You want me to bring something back for you?"

With a short nod, "Sure. Anything is fine. The usual I guess." He wasn't particularly hungry but he figured he should eat something.

Javier nodded and disappeared back to his bedroom. Probably to retrieve his wallet. Kevin wondered briefly if he should offer up some cash. I'll pay him back. I'll get the next round of take out. He flipped through the channels again, mind not really comprehending what his eyes were taking in. Javier reappeared and stood at the end of the couch where Kevin's head was resting. Cocking his head backwards to look up at his partner, Kevin raised an eyebrow. "Hmm?"

"Pizza okay?" Javier fiddled with the wallet; fingers nearly letting it fall from his tentative grasp.

"Yeah, sounds good." Kevin offered a smile, just a small twitch in the left corner of his mouth really.

12:22 P.M. Tuesday-

Kevin tossed the remainder of a slice of pizza back into the box. It looked pitiful, that half eaten slice; and the detective wondered briefly if Javier would demand he finish at least that piece. When silence filled the air where Kevin had thought a protest would be he glanced over at his partner. He watched Javier finishing up the last bite Javier's slice of pizza. When brown eyes were steadily regarding Kevin he spoke up, "Do you think I should make Stacey come up here? Or would that be too close to the case?" Deep, thoughtful lines were gauged across Kevin's forehead as he swallowed down another bout of anxiety.

Javier offered one of those quick-flick smiles and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "I think she'll be fine out there. The dude's obviously workin' here, close to you. Keep Stacey out there. She's got the protection of the cops in Boston while we take care of shit here. We'll bring this guy down, Kev. I promise." The Hispanic was leaning forward, closer to Kevin, and reaching out a hand.

The feel of the burning warmth was on Kevin's leg before Javier's actual hand. It made his insides wriggle delightedly. He knew he was putting off this conversation that needed to happen, but neither of them seemed to want to bring it back up.

"Thanks, Javier." Kevin forced his azure eyes upwards to look at Javier directly. "We should um-"

"Yeah…"

"Here's the thing, these feelings aren't exactly new for me," Kevin heaved out with a whoosh of breath. "I've liked you for some time, but didn't really understand it, man. I guess I thought it was ridiculous or wrong and I didn't want to ruin things. You were- are my best friend Javi and I don't want to lose that," Kevin thought the words sounded too rehearsed, to perfected and cliché and out of a book, or a movie and juvenile and-

Javier smiled. "I get that. I've always been jealous of Jenny. Even Castle noticed. That's why I ragged on you so much about it, because I was upset she was getting attention that I wanted." He sat back on the couch, sinking deeper away from Kevin but the emotional tie was made.

Kevin just stared at him for long moments. "You were jealous of her?" Kevin wasn't sure where it came from, but suddenly a crescendo of laughter left him at that thought. He reached out a hand to place on Javier's leg as his body shook with the laughing, trying to reassure his partner he meant no harm by the outburst. It was just ironic, and funny, and damned good to hear Javier say all of that. Kevin tried to reign himself back in, to suck in air and quiet down, but he looked back at Javier and the face had him falling into another roll of laughs.

Sitting across from Kevin, Javier's face was turned upside in frowns and furrowed brows. He looked, to Kevin at least, like the most adorable, pouting, little boy. "What's so funny?" Javier demanded of Kevin, grabbing an abrupt hold on his shoulders and shaking him. "You dumped your feelings on me and I didn't laugh…"

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry…" Kevin had to suck in a few deep breaths and keep his eyes on Javier's lips so he didn't start laughing again. "It was just a funny thought to me, I mean obviously. But Jenny kicked me out under the idea that for all I cared, it could be you in my bed. She was jealous of you, Javier." He shook his head and looked further down, at Javier's arms. His eyes followed them up to his wrists, up to the hands that were gripping him, to the long, deeply tan fingers curling elegantly around him. Kevin reached up and placed a hand across Javier's wrist. Yes, pale and tan, they didn't clash but rather fit very well together.

"You're laughing because- I don't get you sometimes Kev." Javier shook his head too and eased his grip on Kevin's arms.

Kevin's hands remained on Javier's wrist as he pulled them back. "I'm not all that complicated. I like clothes, I know how to undo an eight-point-knot on stiletto heels, and I'm…" Kevin coughed nervously but forced words upwards from his throat. "And I'm enamored with you."

"Enamored huh?" Javier cocked an eyebrow and a smile. "I think it's my turn to laugh, Mr. Vocab."

"Can we just kiss already?" Kevin's eyes were back to Javier's lips, watching each little movement as he spoke.

"You don't think we're uh, maybe taking this a bit fast? I mean we just-"

Kevin grabbed the back of Javier's neck and pulled him in tightly to his lips. He found Javier quite compliable with the action and they kissed, nipped and licked at one another for long, breathless, minutes. When Kevin absolutely needed to breathe, or risk passing out, he pulled back and looked into milk-coffee eyes. "Absolutely, we're taking this too fast. I'm really fine with that, though."

9:00 A.M. Wednesday- Case 19 days cold

Kevin sat at the conference table alone. His eyes were fixed so intently on the front page of the newspaper that he was nearly sure the image and article would be forever emblazoned on his brain. It was a picture of the crime scene, of him, standing there over her body. Of course, the paper had taken precautions and blurred the image of the body but that didn't matter to Kevin. That image would always be in his memory; right next to Karen's staged murder. The point was this case had made the front page. And why shouldn't it?

Scanning below through the text, Kevin read the quick write up about what Montgomery had told reporters. Kevin hadn't even realized his chief had talked with the media. It made sense though. He caught a quick snippet about his sister's case- so Montgomery had let the public know it was connected. Kate's name showed up as lead detective on the case. Kevin Ryan's name was nowhere to be found. That was probably for the better.

He pushed the paper away from himself, sliding it over the table and to the edge. He should be focused on finding some lead or another in this damned case, not worrying over what was printed in the paper. He pulled a stack of files towards him, one of his sister's. It was much easier to go through everything in this room with the large table. He'd brought everything back to work to try and draw some connection. Javier was snooping on his computer while the Kate and Castle were talking with one of the people who'd been near Katherine's crime scene. They were still going to follow up Kevin's absurd idea on the connection of police on similar cases. He really hoped that Javier was just wasting his time and it wouldn't really come through.

Henry Marcus. The name stood out on the paper away from the other statements. There was a single sentence attached a line below it:

"I know who did this- it's happening again. You have to listen to me. It's a game."

"A game…shit. Javier!" Kevin stood up quickly, knocking his chair backwards with a loud 'crash'. He snatched the paper up and jogged out of the room over to where Javier was starting to stand, worry washing over his features. "Javier, look at this."

Javier held out a hand for the paper and Kevin watched, biting his bottom lip and creasing his eyebrows in on one another. "Henry Marcus… I think we need to take a look at this guy," Javier said looking back up at Kevin with those flared nostrils and jackknifed eyebrows.

"You think it could be him?" Kevin was shifting back and forth between his right and left foot every few seconds.

"Maybe, bro. I've uh…well I've picked somethin' up too, I think. Henry Marcus's name appears in some other cases. Get this," Javier sat back down, laying the statement carefully aside. Kevin moved to hunch over his chair and look at the computer screen. He pressed close to Javier, his arm lying next to Javier's, fingers slightly brushing Javier's on the computer mouse. "He was a cop, went through the same thing with a son. The murder bit. Different flowers though."

Kevin read over the report of the murdered son of Marcus with quick eyes and a quickening pulse. His ears were flushing with a tense, angry excitement. They were getting closer to something. He wasn't sure exactly what, but this was a big coincidence. Sitting on the job as long as he and Javier had, he knew that meant "connection" not "coincidence". He flicked his eyes to Javier. "Got an address on this guy?"

"Looking that up now." Javier dragged the mouse around and pulled up the database. "Might be a few minutes… seems he was let go after his son's murder."

"Suspect?" Kevin asked resisting pulling away from Javier so soon.

"Briefly. They dropped his name pretty quickly, though. He spelled out an airtight alibi."

The computer beeped at them and both men looked at the screen. "Perfect. Let's go talk with him."

"Ah, we have to get a hold of Beckett first." Javier snatched Kevin's hand to keep him from moving away. "I'll call her, you get our stuff around."

Kevin thrust out one curt nod and pulled his hand away from Javier's warm one. The lingering warmth felt nice, reassuring. Things were looking up lately.