Valentine's day! Or as I like to call it 'Christmas Fallout' . Back when I was single, I hated Vday like a pauper hates a miser. Not that I'm not, I... still don't especially care for it. It should be called 'Anti-wallet Day' and have its own battle cry of 'Run for the hills'. 

Lots of people get down at this time of the year, and I can't say that I blame them. Surrounded by all this faux romance, one can't help but think about how much it sucks not to be in someone's arms. The truth of the matter is that Vday these days has the exact same meaning as Christmas (at least in America, dunno about other places where I don't live), and that is that Capitalism has its claws in everything. How do you show your love? By buying a $400 diamond necklace dingy for someone who probably already owns bunches of cheaper, and cuter, jewelry. I don't get the diamonds craze, they are just shiny rocks. Then again, so were hair bands in the 80's and nobody minded them.

The fact that I don't have a great deal to say is a pretty good indication that everything's going more or less the way it's supposed to be going. ^_^ So, in lieu of having something to say, I'll put a little lesson in here in my ongoing attempts to help out. Warning: The following contains general advice. Readers who dislike advice should cease reading... now.

Well, I got my entry for [Kaimee]'s I want you to write forgiveness contest finished, and my first critique done. I just need to do an entry for Comical Random and maybe this month's A Writing Competition, and the get something longer written for this month's flipside Event. It's nice to have a workable amount of things to do. ^^

Oh! I also made more bread today, but with cinnamon and milk this time. O.o Twas excellent.

Hm.. I had a blog, but I thought it might potentially offend someone, and I'm the only person not allowed to offend someone by proxy. *grins*

I made bread today. It turned out shockingly well, given my baking lack of expertise.

I finally figured out how to un-join forums here. Talk about a godsend. ^^

In other news, nothing of any particular interest is out of the ordinary. Still lots of contests going on at flipside, and despite a 22 member roster, we're always open to new talent. ^^ So... yeah!

Flipside
Flipside Contest Section

And now, my rendition of the monster Malufel, as a Mexican luchador (wrestler).



I have an excercise for you, based on this. Challenge yourself to write a story about a monster that, while mighty, looks mighty dumb.

Gourd. There are so many great contests at Flipside that I can't even spare the time to enter them all. Yay for slacking! *grins* We have 22 members now, and things are rolling quite well. *bounce*

You want to see a retelling of a classic tale that doesn't suck out loud? Watch Disney's The Emperor's New Groove at some point... it may well be the funniest animated thingy I've ever seen, and it's clean humor too. ^^ Even has a skinny guy named [Kuzco] in it!

Kiss Scene contest closed! Whee! Congratulations go to the winner, [Askoga], and to the co-runners-up, [chuchutrain] and [Kuzco]. The scores for this contest were obscenely high! Even the lowest score was eighty points (out of a hundred), which is just unprecedented. ^^ Headbanging goes to all the entrants for doing so damn well! I'm a little late with this report, but... nanny nanny boo boo. ^_^

I think I love everyone. Even people who disrespect me and then wildly question why I would react badly to it... and lord knows there are enough of them, all over the place. I think everything here and all over has stressed me to the point that I'm not as fun as I used to be, so I decided that ish time to just let bygones be bygones. I've put out all the olive branches I need to, I think, so for those of you who want to hold onto your grudges, more power to you! ^_^ But I forgive you, all of you.

I never would have accepted the invitation to come back here, were it not for my friends at Flipside. These people are the reason I'm here now, to help them and to learn from them. When I can read a story by a fifteen-year-old girl that makes me stop and say "... she's as good as I am, and I'm eight years older!!" that's when I start to realize just how special what we've accomplished is. So, as I'm prone to doing on occasion, I'm going to give a shout out to them, and thank them for the fantastic job they've done in building a useful contest wiki... hasn't the change around here been swimming since? Other contest sections have popped up, more stuff is happening... so yay for those who had the stones to try! 

And for those who haven't tried yet... there ain't no anchor tied to your ass. ^_^ Go for it.

I think that... oh, wait, better stop there.

Everyone's doing very well, getting involved in stuff. ^_^ Keep it up, eh?

Whee! On that note, I'm finally going to bed. Peace and love, everyone.

I finished my article on weapons, though I had to limit it to swords due to time constraints.

For Technical Details hosted by [Kiddalee]

TD - Swords

After this, I won't have much time for a while to do anything that isn't Flipside or me-personally related. Though I'll probably do it anyway. But yay contributing!

I'd like to issue an apology to any one who might have taken offense to my previous blog. Apparently, I need to find a new place to say what I think and try to give good advice.

I'll do it here.

Decency Petition

At the end of the day, your writing proves more about who you are than any amount of posturing ever could. You can stand there, and talk about how great your work is, how much praise it has received, how deep or provocative you think it is. Since we all seem to be able to handle adult content here, let me throw you a good one. 

Verbal Masturbation: A term indicating words that, while striking and forceful, end up producing nothing due to the fact that the speaker/writer is doing nothing but blowing hir own horn.

I believe that having the stones to show your writing is admirable. Some might say it's the hardest part, but that's not true. The hardest part is writing something that doesn't suck. Now, let me fill you in on the point of this little blog entry. If you stand there and tell me how great your work is, or preface it with something saying how everyone just loves it, then you're making a mistake. First off, I'm not going to read it; either I believe you, and decide it doesn't need my look-over, or I'll shake my head and say 'I won't even bother with an ego this large.' Secondly, even if a person bothers to ignore your arrogant stance and reads your story... what if they don't like it? Then all your posturing makes you look like a blowhard. Or worse, what if they did like it, but it didn't live up to your glowing testimonial?

[Mister Saint]'s literary tip of the day: No matter how good a writer you think you are, there will always be someone better than you... probably a lot of people. So don't waste your breath proclaiming your greatness, just strive to make your greatness look paltry.

In a craft where so many try and don't quite make it, you're only going to shoot yourself in the foot by talking big. Don't let your mouth sing the praises of your work, let your work take care of that. I'm talking about your writing, here, for anyone who might be getting some idea to bother me with a defensive statement about this. I've read quite a bit of writing from members around here, but I'll tell you right now, that I've never read a narcissist's story that I liked.

I'm a little tired. Other than my contest winners, I won't be accepting any requests to read writing until further notice. Don't even ask, please.

The best way to get people to look at your work is to give them a reason to look at your work. I would love to go through here and read everyone's treasures and give my thoughts on them, but I just don't have the time or the inclination. If you want reviews, join Flipside or Critique Swap. I know I said I wouldn't be active in writersco, and I'm not really. I'm just offering some advice for all of you who want to be read but don't want to take steps to make that happen. You've got an upload writings option... use it! Then go out, and make sure that people have a reason to read your work. I read the work of a friend today, because she asked me to. I noticed that several other people, including some who'd contacted me and some who'd just put it up in a blog or in their house, didn't ask me to read their work. They just said 'I've posted my work, tell me what you think' in some form or fashion. 

People, you have to be proactive. The publishing world will eat your face if you think you can write something, then sit and wait for that nest egg to roll in. That's the lesson that Flipside should be teaching everyone... there, we read each other's work because those works are involved in contests. There we read others work because they earn the right to be read by competing, winning, or just trying. That's a community, people, and I'm so proud of them that I could just scream. 

I couldn't care less what anyone thinks... this is funny.

And in case someone decides to think that it isn't related to writing, here are a bunch of examples of sarcasm, parody, satire, and pun.

Messages on the bathroom wall


Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
- Rest Area off I-84. Willington, Connecticut.


If you can piss this high, join the fire department.
- On the wall in the men's restroom at a height of 6 feet.
O'Ryan's Irish Pub. Ashland, Oregon.


Don't switch dicks in the middle of a screw. Stick with Nixon.
- Nathan's. Washington, D.C.


Beauty is only a light switch away.
- Perkins Library. Duke University. Durham, North Carolina.


I've decided that to raise my grades I must lower my standards.
- Houghton Library, Harvard University. Cambridge, Massachusetts.


Beer. It's not just for breakfast anymore.
- Blueberry Hill. St. Louis, Missouri.


If life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life, then let's all get wasted together and have the time of our lives.
- Armand's Pizza. Washington, D.C.


You either make dust or you eat dust.
- Arizona State University, Daniel E. Noble Science & Engineering Library. Tempe, Arizona.


If Bush were captain of the Titanic, he'd say we were stopping for ice.
- Smoky Joe's. Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.


Remember, it's not, "How high are you?" it's "Hi, how are you?"
- Rest stop off Route 81. West Virginia.


Beware of limbo dancers.
- On the bottom of the stall door, Women's Restroom, Broad Ripple Brew Pub. Indianapolis, Indiana.


Rome wasn't built in a day. That's because it was a government job.
- Women's Restroom. City View Tavern. Cincinnati, Ohio.


I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.
- Bailey Howe Library, University of Vermont. Burlington, Vermont.


Hey, your karma just ran over my dogma.
- Blueberry Hill. St. Louis, Missouri.


Flush twice-It's a long way to the kitchen.
- Restroom, Washakie Cafeteria, University of Wyoming. Laramie, Wyoming.


God made pot. Man made beer. Who do you trust?
- The Irish Times. Washington, D.C.


Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
- The Bayou, Baton Rouge, Louisiana.


Time flies like the wind. Fruit flies like bananas.
- Women's restroom, The Ice House. Wilmington, North Carolina.


No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her shit.
- Men's Room, Linda's Bar and Grill. Chapel Hill, North Carolina.


To do is to be.
- Descartes
To be is to do.
- Voltaire
Do be do be do.
- Frank Sinatra
- Men's restroom, Greasewood Flats. Scottsdale, Arizona.


At the feast of ego, everyone leaves hungry.
- Bentley's House of Coffee and Tea, Tucson, Arizona.


Chris-Just remember that this dollar is not to be spent until everything between us is over (completely). Please remember I love you!-Tori
- On dollar bill F602225237.


It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
- Written in the dust on the back of a bus. Wickenburg, Arizona.


Make love, not war.
Hell, do both, get married!
- Women's restroom, The Filling Station. Bozeman, Montana.


God is dead.
- Nietzsche
Nietzsche is dead.
- God
- The Tombs Restaurant. Washington, D.C.


I sold my expectations to reality and got ripped off.
- The Underground. Blacksburg, Virginia.


A word in the mouth is worth two from George Bush.
I don't understand.
That's okay, Dan.
- H.L. Mencken's Cultured Pearl Restaurant and Bar. Baltimore, Maryland.


If voting could really change things, it would be illegal.
- Revolution Books. New York, New York.


This bubble gum tastes like rubber.
Yeah, but it lasts a long time.
And it blows great bubbles.
- Condom machine. Missoula, Montana.


A Woman's Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you're going to have trouble with it.
- Women's restroom, Dick's Last Resort. Dallas, Texas.


JESUS SAVES!
But wouldn't it be better if he had invested?
- Men's restroom, American University. Washington, D.C.


If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
- The Cellar Restaurant, Blacksburg, Virginia.


My mother was the travel agent for guilt trips.
- Blueberry Hill. St. Louis, Missouri.


Just 'cause it's clean don't mean it's fresh.
- Port O'John, Acadia National Park, Maine.


If pro is opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Congress!
- Men's restroom, House of Representatives. Washington, D.C.


LSD consumes 47 times its weight in excess reality.
- Men's restroom, The 400 bar. Minneapolis, Minnesota.


I used to be into necrophilia and bestiality...but then I realized I was just kicking a dead horse.
- The Cellar Restaurant. Blacksburg, Virginia.


If it wasn't intended to be eaten, it wouldn't be shaped like a taco.
- Nathan's. Washington, D.C.


Why do drunk men miss the toilet?
Why do sober men?
- South Main Cafe. Blacksburg, Virginia.


Free the bound periodicals!
- Library, Indiana University. Bloomington, Indiana.


What are you looking up on the wall for? The joke is in your hands.
- Men's restroom Lynagh's. Lexington, Kentucky.


Hey Nike, I just did it!
- Tastee Diner, Bethesda, Maryland.

Chase Contest Judging is complete at last. It took hours, but hey... ish done! Thanks go to all the contributing Flipsiders, and to those who signed up and didn't enter, we hope to see your work next time. Congratulations to the winners of The Chase!

Ever feel under appreciated? That's me right about now, on every front imaginable. ^^

Huh. Well lookee that. See? Sometimes it pays to listen.