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[iippo]: 207.Letters.Wh
Rating: 0.00 Uploaded by: Created: 2007-01-29 09:00:38Previous:Keywords: Genre:RealismStyle:General ProseLicense:Free for reading'Never say never', say those people who have never been utterly and completely too late and truly regret it. I will never get the chance to tell you this and I have never felt worse about anything in my life.
Like you told me before, everyday matters. Little things. That's why I was being so difficult to you. I thought people whining about little things were weak, so I never let you in on those irking annoyances. I hated to have my clothes smell like cigarette smoke after meeting you, I hated your friends' attitudes towards me, I hated the coldness in your house. But at the time I thought I'd bear it all to be with you. True, everything wasn't perfect, but you never were. I was always willing to accept that. To love you in spite of all of it.
I never had any comebacks to your insults. I just couldn't imagine myself opening my mouth against you. It would have been like raising my hand against my child or pet. You were too dear to me. But I know now that sometimes you must discipline children and pets, for their betterment. I should have realised that with you too. I wanted you safe always. Safe from me, from my world. I know now that it is why you never came to my world. By protecting you from it I protected it from you as well. Although with all honesty, I don't think you ever really wanted into my world.
Everything I did I did out of fear. You never really made the effort to protect me and I felt attacked. Yet I always sought your forgiveness.
Today I can't face you -- just as I never was able to. The difference is just that today I would want to.
Your pining lover.