[SleepingDragon]: 268.Elves Are Assholes

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2006-01-19 09:52:35
Elves Are Assholes
short story
Free for reading
Warning- contains strong language

Elves Are Assholes

I woke up this morning from one of the best dreams I’d had in quite a while. It would have made a hell of a story, or perhaps even a movie. If only I had written it down.

Something about people going inside of a computer to another plane of existence. They were small when they came out of there. No, not permanently. Just for the duration of the stay in the computer world. You see…they had day passes or something, and they could come home for visits, but they would go back until they were done with whatever they were doing there. Restaurants had sections with little tables and chairs for them to sit at. You know. The ones like they have for kids at Thanksgiving or big family gatherings, only fancier.

It all made sense, I’m telling you. As the day wears on the details are getting more and more ephemeral. But there was a reason they were able to go inside of the computer; a good, logical, scientific reason. I think it was a form of school…or training. I can’t remember. The details are fading even as I speak. Dammit! Where is my pen? Those elves are such fucking assholes.

Yes I said elves. No, they don’t have pointy ears. Well, maybe they do. I’ve never actually seen one, ok. But they are there I tell you. They steal back the dreams we have so the waking world doesn’t get too polluted with the ideas from dreams. It’s their job.

Dreams are a gift you see. They aren’t meant to take place in the real world so when they escape for long, someone has to get them back. If everyone’s dreams could always be remembered, people would use them. There would soon be little difference between regular life and the dream world. Dreams wouldn’t be special anymore. They wouldn’t be reward or punishment like they are now. They wouldn’t be a place of solace and rest. But who polices what dreams are allowed to stay in the tangible world? People can’t do this. They are ill equipped. Only elves can do it.

Sneaky little bastards they are too. They don’t start in with it right away. They let you think you are going to remember the idea, so you don't hurry and write it down. They let you shower and get dressed, basking in the afterglow of the dream. It seems like you couldn’t possibly forget. It’s when you’ve had your morning coffee and are on the way to work that it starts. All of a sudden, part of it isn’t there anymore. It may be so subtle that you don’t even notice it at first. As the day goes on you will though, because you’ll try to tell someone about it and it simply won’t be all there. You’ll be stammering and scratching your head like a damn fool, trying to recall it. Ii is then that you realize the elves have won again.

2006-02-02 Akayume: *laughs* I loved this! its awsome.

2006-02-02 SleepingDragon: Thanks so much. It was an exercise elsewhere wherein everyone wrote to the title of "Elves are Assholes". We had a lot of fun with it.

2006-02-02 Akayume: *nods head* It sounds like fun.

2006-02-04 Emily: Hey, that was really good. I hate Elves, so naturally this attracted me... It's a little bit short. I wish you would do it from the perspective of an elf stealing back dreams. That would be neat.

But otherwise, that explains a lot... Thanks for such an insightful, well-written piece. :D

2006-02-04 SleepingDragon: Thank you

I had Kevin Spacey in my head when I wrote it for some reason. I dunno, that's just how it sounded to me.

Thanks for reading...and for a great contest!

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