Verbal Combat PingTheThumbtack VS iippothePuppydog
PingTheThumbtack lies in wait!
I sit pointy side up.
I run around in the room and fall over.
P: I poke you as you fall on me.
I: I yelp in pain and leap up. You are stuck on me. I try to gnaw you off with my teeth.
P: You pull me out. Your teeth scratch my paint. I get stuck between your teeth.
I: I gag and try to pry you lose with my tongue, which looks hilarious. You are covered in drool.
P:I pop out and roll around on the floor, making a little circle of drool.
I: I lick my drool of the floor and a flick of my tongue sends you flinging across the room. I race after you with ears flapping in the air.
P:I bouce off the floor, hit a wall, and fall back to the floor. However, my paint is water-soluble, so now you have paint in your mouth.
I: There is now Ping the Thumbtack -coloured slobber stains everywhere. I sneeze a few times because of the paint in my mouth, and gag once more. I run over to you and lift my leg to pee on you.
P: I, not being capable of moving on my own, sit resignedly, wondering if I float.
I: After relieving myself I step away with a guilty look on my face.
P: I conclude that I don't float. Now all of my paint is washed off and I smell very odd. Luckily, the force of the urine nocked me so I'm sitting pointy-side up again.
I: I sit down near you and lick my crotch, wagging my tail.
P: Your tail hits me in its frenetic waving. I stick it.
I: Unfortunately my tail is not yet grown out of the soft puppy-fur, so you sticking to me hurts quite a bit. I weep heartbreakingly and try to gnaw you off. But in order to gnaw my tail, I need to catch it first, so I start chasing my tail.
P: The centrifugal fource of you spinning around sends me flying accross the room, bouncing off several walls. I land on a table.
I: For a moment I fail to notice that you are no longer attached to me, and keep spinning. After a while I sit down, confused. Then I walk around the room, sniffing the floor, trying to find you.
P: The table I am sitting on is small; the kind with a wood frame and a glass top. If you looked up you could see me through the glass. You could also see the bottom of a lamp.
I: Unfortunately I'm not the most observant of creatures, and my eye sight is none too good. I wonder about and an uncoordinated swig of my bottom bumps into the table leg.
P: I roll perilously close to the edge of the table, onto the wooden part, but the lamp tips over, dropping its shade on you, but miraculously staying on the table, although on its side.
I: I happen to glance up as the lamp shade falls on my head with the larger opening first and effectively diminishes my poor eyesight even further (well, completely). My nose peeks out from the smaller hole, making it seem I am wearing one of those medical cone-things -- the ones that dogs have to wear so they won't lick their wound -- upside down. I make a muffled bark and go under the table. I crane my neck back up as high as I can reach, and the tip of my nose leaves a wet trace on the underside of the glass of the table. I smell your scent through the glass and now know where you are.
P: I am now sitting just on the edge of the table, but I have stopped rolling. I am, for once, not sitting pointy side up. Your bumblings have knocked me onto my side. On the edge of the table.
I: I come halfway out from under the table and another bumb of mine shakes the table. You fall on my nose with your pointy side. I yelp in pain.
(the red "wiki-page too big" is here, so it's over!)
So who won? (I don't know how to make a wiki-poll, and the poll how-to isn't helpful.)