If you listen quietly, on a clear night, you can hear the winds of change blowing across a landscape that has not the capacity for stillness. The earth is restless, and who are we to judge that mold? We too are restless. Enjoy what is, before it isn't.

Imagine my surprise. Today I was pegged as the enemy, and then one half of the peggers joined my ranks. *scratches head* Irony. It's a good word.

I wrote a suspense story tonight, the first I've ever written. 79.Contest Entries.Sociopathic Conversion... and it probably sucks. But hey, that's what practice is for.

Today, Flipside honored its first contest winner, the magnificent [chuchutrain] whose story 63.Valediction Entry is one seriously powerful piece of business. Don't let the title fool you. Chuey is writing well beyond her years. The reviews that I wrote were thankfully well received, despite one small screw up on my part, and everything went off without a hitch. Flipside has come to represent a small glimmer of light in a very dark place for me, and I'm happy to have had a hand in it.

So... it's six in the morning, why the hell am I not in bed? Well that's easy. I don't feel like it. I have this sort of fixation with completion; if I don't feel like the day has been fruitful, then I generally have trouble sleeping. I should be on top of the world, and yet I feel so mindlessly unfulfilled that I have to stop and ask... why? Who knows. ^^

In the meantime, I'm planning something a little larger for flipside, a full scale event that will, hopefully, involve every single member. I'm not sure on the details or the timing yet, but I've got things running around inside my little head (that aren't bipedal for a change) and I feel like something good will come of it.

Hey writer-types! I have a message for you. Before you even start to think about anthologies, publishing, or the business of writing, you'd better take a few years to make sure that your writing doesn't suck at loud. I've been about this site for a while now, and from what I've seen, I'd say there are only a handful of us who are even close to ready for the business aspect of writing. It's too early to think about anthologies. Learn not to suck first. I'm not perfect, either. But let's not jump in with both feet before we find out whether our rope is tied right, eh? Believe me, there is a big pit of spikes down below.

I am so proud of the members of Flipside. In about a week, we have thirteen members (regularly active ones!) and nine contests (only three of which are mine). Everyone is pitching in, having fun, and hopefully, learning a little about writing. I could not have done it without their help, so let me give them all a shout out.

[Akayume] Inspired the place, and has its first ever featured contest!
[Askoga] My ever present moral support and "Hey, Askoga, could you look at this, and see if it's okay?" person.
[Burning Inside] For participation and seemingly boundless enthusiasm for the project.
[chuchutrain] For participation, and a heartening wit.
[Ash] For hosting our first poetry contest.
[Emily] Contest host and grammar lackey!
[Kaimee] Soon to be contest host!
[*Amy*] Came to WC just for us. Aww...
[Kuzco] Contest participant and resident Portugal expert.
[Nightshadow] Lawyer, cheerleader, and my muse.
[Po] Contest host, maker of graphics, and namer of Flipside.
[SleepingDragon] Contest host, workshop helper
[Today for you, tomorrow for me] Contest host!

They've done a great job of helping and participating. And you know what? I think we're all learning new writing stuff, too.

WritiersCo... Writers' Community. A community... for writers. 

Heh. 

I like the sound of that.

Today has been one of those long days. My dog, who has been with us for fourteen years, had to be put to sleep this morning. It didn't really hurt me outwardly like I figured it would... but then, I really don't cry exactly. I get tears in my eyes, like I did today, but there's no weeping and wailing. So that was how I started my day, finding out that it had already been done, so I didn't get to say goodbye to her. Better that way, I suppose.

I played around on WritersCo a lot today. Not doing anything special, really, but I have a few thoughts swirling in my head. 

People, I've met a lot of you and seem to be getting along well with everyone so far. But I have a little message for everyone here, so please don't think it's targetted.

Don't take yourself too seriously.

Here you are a name and number. Nobody is any better than anyone else. Nobody deserves a chance more than the next person. We're here, I think, to better ourselves as writers, not to quibble over copyrights and spout off about what others need to do. To thank end, I think that getting active, even in little things the prompt section, is what we should all do. Most of us seem to be coming here with our work and expecting it to just be read by everyone because it's there. I don't even think our precious work should be posted here... just use this place to bang heads with other writers and sharpen those writing skills using the tools we can put together here. No one's baby will get insulted that way.

If nothing else, think of it this way. I am Travis Reynolds of Kentucky, United States of America. About three people on this site really know me. To everyone else I am words on a page. The same goes for all of you. To me, save those few, you are all words on a page. I have nothing to prove to you, and I suspect you have nothing to prove to me. So ditch the egos and save your pride for doing something well. While there are still a few of us, it is the best time to develop professional respect for each other, so that we're all headbanging to the same beat, and we can get stuff done. Quibbling is a waste of breath. ^^

So I'm sure most of you know what spawned that (*coughblogcough*) and those who don't can figure it out easily enough. I'm heartened by the life that I see flickering in the back alleys of this place, while in the forefront, where all the nice events and attractions are, the peeps are quite limited. I don't know why. I don't especially care. I'm more interested in the life I do see, now, then the life I don't.

Much of the rest of the day is a blur. I feel driven to something, now, and I have a thing or two I'll be implementing and pushing soon. But I will need your help. now that we are all free of our self-importance and egotism (common traits of the creative, mind you) we can all push together. I'll be in touch.

P.S. I may as well pimp A Writing Competition by [Akayume] and The Chase by [Mister Saint] while I'm here. Check them out. ^^

P.S.S. I was really tired when I wrote this, so do forgive the rampant spelling and grammatical errors. 

I know you've all heard it before, but here is a reminder.

Back up your work!

I was thinking of titling this little rant, or opening it up in a clever way, but I can't think of one. So, here it is. 

I hate Japan.

Now, follow me. I don't hate the Japanese people, or the island itself, or the culture, really. What I do strongly dislike is the sickeningly large injection of Japanese culture into places where it does not belong. Let me explain some for you, so you know why I came to this conclusion.

I play quite a few videogames, and one of my very favorite series has been Castlevania. For those who don't know, it is a long-running series of games based upon a version the Count Dracula story, in which you would play a vampire hunter out to destroy him. That was basically it for the longest time, but in the last several years the company, Konami, has expanded and personalized the storyline away from Dracula and the Merman and such, though they are still generally present. 

The most recent one I have been playing is, obviously, the newest on PS2, called Castlevania: Curse of Darkness. The game is about as original as the title, but it's fun for a while, and in the continue tradition of the more recent CV games, contains a system where you can find new weapons along your journey and equip them. 

Now, you may be asking how this ties in to Japan. Here it goes. Castlevania has always (with a few very recent exceptions which I will get to later) been based in eastern Europe, presumably near or in Romania (this particular game mentions 'Vallachia' which, when mentioned in previous games, was 'Warykia' if you like Engrish). A massive chunk of the equipment that your character finds in this game is Japanese. Katanas, Nodachis, Naginata, kendo stuff, shuriken, a top knot wig, a tengu mask, and so on and so forth. Japanese equipment has absolutely no place in a pre-eighteenth century Eastern European setting, as anybody who knows much of Japan's history can tell you that Japan was so incredibly hostile towards newcomers that it had little to no influence on the rest of the world until the mid to late 1800's.  Eastern Asian equipment perhaps, but not Japanese. To me, it really hurts the mood and setting to be swinging a Japanese spear in a setting that would not have it. It would be like having laser guns during the French Revolution. 

In addition, the more recent side-scroller CastleVania games (which also have Japanese equipment) are based in more modern times, but the setting have been moved from eastern Europe to (you guessed it) Japan. Covering the change of setting with a weak story about Dracula's Castle actually existing inside of a lunar eclipse (what the hell??), the designers made the decision to not only stuff more Japan down players' throats with the new setting, but to change the main character from a European vampire slayer (as the previous games had been, all of the same clan with a few exceptions) to a young Japanese man. The cast of supporting characters all became Japanese. Even a staple character from previous games was given a Japanese name. And of course the Japanese equipment was there, but this made more sense given the setting. 

Another example comes from one of my favorite games, Valyrie Profile. It is a roleplaying game set in the world of Norse Mythology, and though it doesn't follow the mythology perfectly, it does an admirable job of creating a convincing Nordic environment and landscape, complete with convincing character types and villages.

However... right smack in the corner of this thoroughly Norse world, there is an island called 'Hai-lan'. Guess what. It's fucking Japanese. Everything there is Japanese. The villages, the shrines, the dungeons, all japanese. Even the frigging monsters. Oh look an oni! In Norse mythology! Say bullshit with me.

In addition to that, the player can recruit characters from the villages around the world, to help fight evil. In this Japanese island, you can find FIVE characters... no other place in the entire game gives you more than three. That island is of the least significance to the game's story, and yet you find yourself coming back every other mission to pick up something or someone that has no fucking place in Norse mythology. 

Now, this is just a peeve of mine, albeit a large one. But it gets worse. I'm sick and tired of seeing so much Japan in American culture. Don't get all pissy, now, I know a lot of WritersCo's members aren't American and I can already feel the stereotypes rolling from your tongues, but try to follow me before you judge me.

When I was a kid and I turned on the TV on saturday morning to watch cartoons, I watched Looney Tunes, Darkwing Duck, He-man, and such. Nowadays, if I turn on the TV on saturday morning, I find myself bombarded with anime and americanime, where every cartoon has fifteen year old heroes with special powers and martial arts moves. And I refer to anime as cartoons because I feel no need to differentiate, don't bother me with that argument because it is idiotic. Often when I read something written by a younger American, the main character has a Japanese name or swings a Katana (god how I hate katanas) or some such garbage like that. 

Largely this bothers me because I've seen a general trend over the years of people having less and less to be proud of about this country and its culture. People are turning to Japanese culture here, largely because our own is one of greed and practicality - looking out for number one and making money. And even though Japan is largely similar, the cultural differences catch the eyes of people who are fed up with our own culture (in a broad sense).

So there you go. If you write a story, movie, or make a game that is about Japan, use Japanese stuff. If it's about Germany, use German stuff. If it's about the year 12000 a.q. , then use your flippin' imagination. But please, lay off the damn katanas already. And say what you want, Samurai were only human. Goodnight.

UPDATE: I just found a sword that leaves giant kanji in the air when it swings in this Castlevania game. I know the company's Japanese, but if they really want to shove their goddamn country down peoples' throats that bad, they ought to start making games based in Japan... wait, they already do that. 

Another sleepless night. I don't know how I'm doing this. I used to get so tired when I'd had less than seven or eight hours of sleep more than one night in a row. I think I've had about twenty hours of sleep this week. But I'm awake, I'm lucid, even though its hard to breathe, and my eyebrows feel heavy. The lids are heavy, but it's more like they are bolted open.  This is the world I live in right now.

I ranted this morning. Just talking to myself and the dogs, I went on for three or four songs on my CD. I just talked about whatever I felt like talking about, loudly, and clearly. I said some profound things and some dumb things. I said 'concepts, guys, time is just a concept. Like numbers or art. It is a nonexistant classification for a nonexistant object, this question of 'when'. What is 'when?' We all obey this nonexistant concept, but no one can tell me what time is. Define it, but you will be wrong. Time is a system that is created for the sole purpose of serving itself, and in that respect it is beautiful.'

So tired. I find that I'm at my most creative when I'm worn out. If I'm awake, and alert, hell no. I'll stare at the keyboard. But I could write a sonnet right now without thinking about it. Oh the curse of lyrical sight, to see through the blackness and shadowless light, where the dawn comes to break the window aside, where the window is darkness and dawn is the light. Oh what a hero a man can be when with a videocamera does he take a pee, from a building's red rooftop so high and so fair, while a man far below gets urine-soaked hair. 

Metaphorically, the man's hair is a window. And the dawn is free falling urine from the sixtieth floor. Next question please.

Sometimes even your friends need to hear the truth. Sometimes it hurts, especially when you're like me and tend to be candid about it. But it is a very weak person who never gets hurt, or wails endlessly about a little pain. Pain makes you tougher, in small doses. Like a flu shot. It's a pity that telling the truth never gets any easier.

So I need to get back to school. I know where I'll probably end up going, as my nifty associate's degree isn't worth the time I need to tell you about it, but I must say the college system in this country is truly a rich man's game. Even the college my brother Iz (B.S. in Physics, currently working at AutoZone part time) went to, Berea, which was known as the poor man's college because you could go there without being mired in debt for the rest of your life, ended up slapping him with thousands of dollars of debt (they had promised that through his work study he could essentially go for free). So far my scholarships and grants have carried me through without a great deal of bills, but they're exhausted, and I need to get back to it ASAP. College here is nothing more than another way for fat cats to make money, and we all know it, but no one can do a thing about it.

Anyway... I'm considering several different areas of study, since I decided that I quite dislike the sciences (was a chemistry major for a while, but quickly grew to hate it). I'm thinking right now about getting a degree in any one of the following areas: Communications, English (literature/langauge), Journalism, or History (Education). Every one of them seems too daunting to undertake given my current situation, but I know I need to do it, and now it's just a matter of deciding. I'm sort of leaning towards either Communications (love to work in TV or radio) or History (don't get me started on the Three Kingdoms or the American Civil War, it's bad for your eardrums). But it's still a fix. Thoughts?

With Nanowrimo going on this month combined with my increasing sense of apathy towards most all things internet, I don't know how much use I'll be around here. 

Tonight was... awful. I felt terrible, for hours, though my health is just fine. I felt like I'd lost something of great importance. In a way I did. But I can't help but feel like this is just a little stone rolling down a mountain... so far. My sense of optimism is gone. I know what to expect. And I know what to do when it happens. That doesn't make it any easier.

I tire of being *there* for everyone, especially people I don't even know all that well. I love helping, I do. But... I don't know. This isn't right, what I'm writing now. It's just to relieve some of this stubborn pain that doesn't want to piss off already.

I hope for better. Please hope with me.

I don't think I've ever felt quite so frustrated with life in general, ever. 

People, please get active around here! Nothing will ever happen if no one ever tries! I mean, come on! If you want people to appraise your work, appraise theirs! If you want your work to be seen, then do something to make it seen. The publishing world won't let you sit on your merry olde ass while it cradles your manuscript like a beloved child. You have to hustle. Same here!

I watched 'Kingdom of Heaven' tonight. Yes, girls, Orlando Bloom was in it. And yes, he did his part. Not that the acting was all that impressive, the script all that inspiring, the fights all that engaging... but he definitely did his part.

Okay... the guy is the male equivalent of T and A. As an actor he's mediocre, but he's a babyface pretty boy type and so people love him. To me, every role he's ever been in has basically been the same, just with a different costume. But yay for him, who makes big money being pretty.

As for the movie... it was futile. Far too artsy for a war movie, and too much action for an art flick. The whole movie seems more like a chunk from the middle of a much longer movie (though the blasted thing is still a good two and half hours long). The soundtrack, just like Troy, was horrendous. It sucked in the same way Troy's did, in that it had a bunch of slow-ass percussion-free middle eastern music playing at all times, even during the fight scenes.

All of these 'epic war movies' are trying to be Braveheart again. Braveheart was excellent. The characters had depth, the action was believable, the soundtrack had f***ing drums and was always appropriate to the scene. The rest of them are just knock-offs... always historically based, always having an obligatory crying female waiting in the wings, always having the camera enjoy scenes of both the good guy commanders and the enemy commanders. They all end with artsy, tragic scenes, and have about four thousand gallons of blood in them. 

For a knock-off, it was passable. For a stand-alone movie... it just didn't cut the mustard. 

I know that there are a lot of poems uploaded to writersco. So why is it, I wonder, that I can't get anyone to enter a damned poetry competition? I've never seen a place so apathetic in my entire life as WritersCo is right now. But I can't seem to get anybody to want to join up either. This makes my head hurt.

Today I received rejection letter number three. I'll be filing it along with the others, but I'm not going to wait on the fourth one to come in before I start trying something new.

My next course of action with writing will be to start entering various contests, and hopefully in so doing I can get a little bit of credibility and exposure, and maybe a little cash to help fund this shit. I do want to enter some of the writersco contests, but as I have neither a credit card, PayPal account, or any other kind of account, it's kind of an impossibility. Plus... I hate to say it, but I kind of doubt that there will be enough participation to make it worthwhile.

Well... day two of the craft festival. I managed to set it up so that the guys wouldn't have to get up at the asscrack of dawn to go up there today, which is good, because I'm rested. Unfortunately, Rodd used the extra time to go pick up his girlfriend to go with us.

-.-

I honestly hate this person. I didn't used to, but yeah, now I do. A few weeks ago Rodd was in his most fervent 'I'm gonna leave her' modes, and I just smiled at him when he said it. "What?" he asked me.

"Excuse me if I don't hold my breath," was my answer. Of course he was pissed at that, but I explained to him that he had pulled this kind of stunt before, and I had absolutely no faith that he would follow through with it.

Sure enough, now they're all chummy again. Which is fine, everyone needs someone to love. They just don't need to sacrifice the people who have sacrificed for them in the process.

So now its too cold to paint the cars, and I'm out of a job. Well, great. I'm thinking about applying at the bank, where if I was hired I would have to get up early for work. Which would mean no more late nights... which will almost certainly ruin my time with Emily, who has class during the day.  Everywhere I go I run into walls. And I'm just not strong enough to get over them anymore.

Well, I'm sick again. The good part about this particular kind of cold is that, even though the days are miserable, I sleep like the dead who aren't quite dead but just sleeping and thus easily confused with the dead at a casual glance.

Hey, note to everyone. If you're happy, don't ever tell anyone who isn't directly responsible for it. Seriously, people love to take it as a slap in the face when someone else is happy and talks about it.

Moving on... I'm going to bed.

Despite what the amateur literary world at large seems to think, all poetry does not have to be about death, dying, or killing!