I couldn't care less what anyone thinks... this is funny.

And in case someone decides to think that it isn't related to writing, here are a bunch of examples of sarcasm, parody, satire, and pun.

Messages on the bathroom wall


Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
- Rest Area off I-84. Willington, Connecticut.


If you can piss this high, join the fire department.
- On the wall in the men's restroom at a height of 6 feet.
O'Ryan's Irish Pub. Ashland, Oregon.


Don't switch dicks in the middle of a screw. Stick with Nixon.
- Nathan's. Washington, D.C.


Beauty is only a light switch away.
- Perkins Library. Duke University. Durham, North Carolina.


I've decided that to raise my grades I must lower my standards.
- Houghton Library, Harvard University. Cambridge, Massachusetts.


Beer. It's not just for breakfast anymore.
- Blueberry Hill. St. Louis, Missouri.


If life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life, then let's all get wasted together and have the time of our lives.
- Armand's Pizza. Washington, D.C.


You either make dust or you eat dust.
- Arizona State University, Daniel E. Noble Science & Engineering Library. Tempe, Arizona.


If Bush were captain of the Titanic, he'd say we were stopping for ice.
- Smoky Joe's. Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.


Remember, it's not, "How high are you?" it's "Hi, how are you?"
- Rest stop off Route 81. West Virginia.


Beware of limbo dancers.
- On the bottom of the stall door, Women's Restroom, Broad Ripple Brew Pub. Indianapolis, Indiana.


Rome wasn't built in a day. That's because it was a government job.
- Women's Restroom. City View Tavern. Cincinnati, Ohio.


I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.
- Bailey Howe Library, University of Vermont. Burlington, Vermont.


Hey, your karma just ran over my dogma.
- Blueberry Hill. St. Louis, Missouri.


Flush twice-It's a long way to the kitchen.
- Restroom, Washakie Cafeteria, University of Wyoming. Laramie, Wyoming.


God made pot. Man made beer. Who do you trust?
- The Irish Times. Washington, D.C.


Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
- The Bayou, Baton Rouge, Louisiana.


Time flies like the wind. Fruit flies like bananas.
- Women's restroom, The Ice House. Wilmington, North Carolina.


No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her shit.
- Men's Room, Linda's Bar and Grill. Chapel Hill, North Carolina.


To do is to be.
- Descartes
To be is to do.
- Voltaire
Do be do be do.
- Frank Sinatra
- Men's restroom, Greasewood Flats. Scottsdale, Arizona.


At the feast of ego, everyone leaves hungry.
- Bentley's House of Coffee and Tea, Tucson, Arizona.


Chris-Just remember that this dollar is not to be spent until everything between us is over (completely). Please remember I love you!-Tori
- On dollar bill F602225237.


It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
- Written in the dust on the back of a bus. Wickenburg, Arizona.


Make love, not war.
Hell, do both, get married!
- Women's restroom, The Filling Station. Bozeman, Montana.


God is dead.
- Nietzsche
Nietzsche is dead.
- God
- The Tombs Restaurant. Washington, D.C.


I sold my expectations to reality and got ripped off.
- The Underground. Blacksburg, Virginia.


A word in the mouth is worth two from George Bush.
I don't understand.
That's okay, Dan.
- H.L. Mencken's Cultured Pearl Restaurant and Bar. Baltimore, Maryland.


If voting could really change things, it would be illegal.
- Revolution Books. New York, New York.


This bubble gum tastes like rubber.
Yeah, but it lasts a long time.
And it blows great bubbles.
- Condom machine. Missoula, Montana.


A Woman's Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you're going to have trouble with it.
- Women's restroom, Dick's Last Resort. Dallas, Texas.


JESUS SAVES!
But wouldn't it be better if he had invested?
- Men's restroom, American University. Washington, D.C.


If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
- The Cellar Restaurant, Blacksburg, Virginia.


My mother was the travel agent for guilt trips.
- Blueberry Hill. St. Louis, Missouri.


Just 'cause it's clean don't mean it's fresh.
- Port O'John, Acadia National Park, Maine.


If pro is opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Congress!
- Men's restroom, House of Representatives. Washington, D.C.


LSD consumes 47 times its weight in excess reality.
- Men's restroom, The 400 bar. Minneapolis, Minnesota.


I used to be into necrophilia and bestiality...but then I realized I was just kicking a dead horse.
- The Cellar Restaurant. Blacksburg, Virginia.


If it wasn't intended to be eaten, it wouldn't be shaped like a taco.
- Nathan's. Washington, D.C.


Why do drunk men miss the toilet?
Why do sober men?
- South Main Cafe. Blacksburg, Virginia.


Free the bound periodicals!
- Library, Indiana University. Bloomington, Indiana.


What are you looking up on the wall for? The joke is in your hands.
- Men's restroom Lynagh's. Lexington, Kentucky.


Hey Nike, I just did it!
- Tastee Diner, Bethesda, Maryland.

Chase Contest Judging is complete at last. It took hours, but hey... ish done! Thanks go to all the contributing Flipsiders, and to those who signed up and didn't enter, we hope to see your work next time. Congratulations to the winners of The Chase!

Ever feel under appreciated? That's me right about now, on every front imaginable. ^^

Huh. Well lookee that. See? Sometimes it pays to listen.

Love story article/ general catching up: done.

To do:

Weaponry articles (melee/projectile) for Technical Details
Dialogue Article
Plot twists / Intrigue article
Contest reviews for The Chase
Clean up packrat house to get ready to move
Watch adult film
Hide this fact from girlfriend
Work on own book
Enter contests
Fall Over

:P

...

I really hate that little thing.

Progress. A few more days of madly plugging away, and I should be caught up. 

Hello again, everyone. A few quick notes on my involuntary vacations.

I don't especially want to talk about it. Suffice to say that there was a clash of personalities, and no matter who started it, it's over. I'd like to put it behind me.

Second, thanks go to everyone who supported me over the last few days. Your kind words meant a lot to me, and your encouragement is the only reason I've come back. You know who you are.

Third, I am here only for Flipside and its members. There is a fair chance that I will not be active here outside of its boundaries, unless of course you ask me nicely. Per my nature, there are a few people with whom I'll still be sore for a while. Give me a few days. You should also know who you are. I am doing my best to put all this behind me.

All that said, thanks again to everyone. Now if you'll excuse me, I have things to fix.

Yeah... I've been listening to a lot of Disturbed lately, in addition to my normal medley of stuff. I never thought that Disturbed would mature as a band; I figured they would ride the nu-metal wave out to its quick end and be done. But if you listen to their songs "Stricken" or "Ten Thousand Fists in the Air" you can see that they've grown a lot. It's good stuff if you like metal where the lyrics are intelligible.

If you listen quietly, on a clear night, you can hear the winds of change blowing across a landscape that has not the capacity for stillness. The earth is restless, and who are we to judge that mold? We too are restless. Enjoy what is, before it isn't.

Imagine my surprise. Today I was pegged as the enemy, and then one half of the peggers joined my ranks. *scratches head* Irony. It's a good word.

I wrote a suspense story tonight, the first I've ever written. 79.Contest Entries.Sociopathic Conversion... and it probably sucks. But hey, that's what practice is for.

Today, Flipside honored its first contest winner, the magnificent [chuchutrain] whose story 63.Valediction Entry is one seriously powerful piece of business. Don't let the title fool you. Chuey is writing well beyond her years. The reviews that I wrote were thankfully well received, despite one small screw up on my part, and everything went off without a hitch. Flipside has come to represent a small glimmer of light in a very dark place for me, and I'm happy to have had a hand in it.

So... it's six in the morning, why the hell am I not in bed? Well that's easy. I don't feel like it. I have this sort of fixation with completion; if I don't feel like the day has been fruitful, then I generally have trouble sleeping. I should be on top of the world, and yet I feel so mindlessly unfulfilled that I have to stop and ask... why? Who knows. ^^

In the meantime, I'm planning something a little larger for flipside, a full scale event that will, hopefully, involve every single member. I'm not sure on the details or the timing yet, but I've got things running around inside my little head (that aren't bipedal for a change) and I feel like something good will come of it.

Hey writer-types! I have a message for you. Before you even start to think about anthologies, publishing, or the business of writing, you'd better take a few years to make sure that your writing doesn't suck at loud. I've been about this site for a while now, and from what I've seen, I'd say there are only a handful of us who are even close to ready for the business aspect of writing. It's too early to think about anthologies. Learn not to suck first. I'm not perfect, either. But let's not jump in with both feet before we find out whether our rope is tied right, eh? Believe me, there is a big pit of spikes down below.

I am so proud of the members of Flipside. In about a week, we have thirteen members (regularly active ones!) and nine contests (only three of which are mine). Everyone is pitching in, having fun, and hopefully, learning a little about writing. I could not have done it without their help, so let me give them all a shout out.

[Akayume] Inspired the place, and has its first ever featured contest!
[Askoga] My ever present moral support and "Hey, Askoga, could you look at this, and see if it's okay?" person.
[Burning Inside] For participation and seemingly boundless enthusiasm for the project.
[chuchutrain] For participation, and a heartening wit.
[Ash] For hosting our first poetry contest.
[Emily] Contest host and grammar lackey!
[Kaimee] Soon to be contest host!
[*Amy*] Came to WC just for us. Aww...
[Kuzco] Contest participant and resident Portugal expert.
[Nightshadow] Lawyer, cheerleader, and my muse.
[Po] Contest host, maker of graphics, and namer of Flipside.
[SleepingDragon] Contest host, workshop helper
[Today for you, tomorrow for me] Contest host!

They've done a great job of helping and participating. And you know what? I think we're all learning new writing stuff, too.

WritiersCo... Writers' Community. A community... for writers. 

Heh. 

I like the sound of that.

Today has been one of those long days. My dog, who has been with us for fourteen years, had to be put to sleep this morning. It didn't really hurt me outwardly like I figured it would... but then, I really don't cry exactly. I get tears in my eyes, like I did today, but there's no weeping and wailing. So that was how I started my day, finding out that it had already been done, so I didn't get to say goodbye to her. Better that way, I suppose.

I played around on WritersCo a lot today. Not doing anything special, really, but I have a few thoughts swirling in my head. 

People, I've met a lot of you and seem to be getting along well with everyone so far. But I have a little message for everyone here, so please don't think it's targetted.

Don't take yourself too seriously.

Here you are a name and number. Nobody is any better than anyone else. Nobody deserves a chance more than the next person. We're here, I think, to better ourselves as writers, not to quibble over copyrights and spout off about what others need to do. To thank end, I think that getting active, even in little things the prompt section, is what we should all do. Most of us seem to be coming here with our work and expecting it to just be read by everyone because it's there. I don't even think our precious work should be posted here... just use this place to bang heads with other writers and sharpen those writing skills using the tools we can put together here. No one's baby will get insulted that way.

If nothing else, think of it this way. I am Travis Reynolds of Kentucky, United States of America. About three people on this site really know me. To everyone else I am words on a page. The same goes for all of you. To me, save those few, you are all words on a page. I have nothing to prove to you, and I suspect you have nothing to prove to me. So ditch the egos and save your pride for doing something well. While there are still a few of us, it is the best time to develop professional respect for each other, so that we're all headbanging to the same beat, and we can get stuff done. Quibbling is a waste of breath. ^^

So I'm sure most of you know what spawned that (*coughblogcough*) and those who don't can figure it out easily enough. I'm heartened by the life that I see flickering in the back alleys of this place, while in the forefront, where all the nice events and attractions are, the peeps are quite limited. I don't know why. I don't especially care. I'm more interested in the life I do see, now, then the life I don't.

Much of the rest of the day is a blur. I feel driven to something, now, and I have a thing or two I'll be implementing and pushing soon. But I will need your help. now that we are all free of our self-importance and egotism (common traits of the creative, mind you) we can all push together. I'll be in touch.

P.S. I may as well pimp A Writing Competition by [Akayume] and The Chase by [Mister Saint] while I'm here. Check them out. ^^

P.S.S. I was really tired when I wrote this, so do forgive the rampant spelling and grammatical errors. 

I know you've all heard it before, but here is a reminder.

Back up your work!

I was thinking of titling this little rant, or opening it up in a clever way, but I can't think of one. So, here it is. 

I hate Japan.

Now, follow me. I don't hate the Japanese people, or the island itself, or the culture, really. What I do strongly dislike is the sickeningly large injection of Japanese culture into places where it does not belong. Let me explain some for you, so you know why I came to this conclusion.

I play quite a few videogames, and one of my very favorite series has been Castlevania. For those who don't know, it is a long-running series of games based upon a version the Count Dracula story, in which you would play a vampire hunter out to destroy him. That was basically it for the longest time, but in the last several years the company, Konami, has expanded and personalized the storyline away from Dracula and the Merman and such, though they are still generally present. 

The most recent one I have been playing is, obviously, the newest on PS2, called Castlevania: Curse of Darkness. The game is about as original as the title, but it's fun for a while, and in the continue tradition of the more recent CV games, contains a system where you can find new weapons along your journey and equip them. 

Now, you may be asking how this ties in to Japan. Here it goes. Castlevania has always (with a few very recent exceptions which I will get to later) been based in eastern Europe, presumably near or in Romania (this particular game mentions 'Vallachia' which, when mentioned in previous games, was 'Warykia' if you like Engrish). A massive chunk of the equipment that your character finds in this game is Japanese. Katanas, Nodachis, Naginata, kendo stuff, shuriken, a top knot wig, a tengu mask, and so on and so forth. Japanese equipment has absolutely no place in a pre-eighteenth century Eastern European setting, as anybody who knows much of Japan's history can tell you that Japan was so incredibly hostile towards newcomers that it had little to no influence on the rest of the world until the mid to late 1800's.  Eastern Asian equipment perhaps, but not Japanese. To me, it really hurts the mood and setting to be swinging a Japanese spear in a setting that would not have it. It would be like having laser guns during the French Revolution. 

In addition, the more recent side-scroller CastleVania games (which also have Japanese equipment) are based in more modern times, but the setting have been moved from eastern Europe to (you guessed it) Japan. Covering the change of setting with a weak story about Dracula's Castle actually existing inside of a lunar eclipse (what the hell??), the designers made the decision to not only stuff more Japan down players' throats with the new setting, but to change the main character from a European vampire slayer (as the previous games had been, all of the same clan with a few exceptions) to a young Japanese man. The cast of supporting characters all became Japanese. Even a staple character from previous games was given a Japanese name. And of course the Japanese equipment was there, but this made more sense given the setting. 

Another example comes from one of my favorite games, Valyrie Profile. It is a roleplaying game set in the world of Norse Mythology, and though it doesn't follow the mythology perfectly, it does an admirable job of creating a convincing Nordic environment and landscape, complete with convincing character types and villages.

However... right smack in the corner of this thoroughly Norse world, there is an island called 'Hai-lan'. Guess what. It's fucking Japanese. Everything there is Japanese. The villages, the shrines, the dungeons, all japanese. Even the frigging monsters. Oh look an oni! In Norse mythology! Say bullshit with me.

In addition to that, the player can recruit characters from the villages around the world, to help fight evil. In this Japanese island, you can find FIVE characters... no other place in the entire game gives you more than three. That island is of the least significance to the game's story, and yet you find yourself coming back every other mission to pick up something or someone that has no fucking place in Norse mythology. 

Now, this is just a peeve of mine, albeit a large one. But it gets worse. I'm sick and tired of seeing so much Japan in American culture. Don't get all pissy, now, I know a lot of WritersCo's members aren't American and I can already feel the stereotypes rolling from your tongues, but try to follow me before you judge me.

When I was a kid and I turned on the TV on saturday morning to watch cartoons, I watched Looney Tunes, Darkwing Duck, He-man, and such. Nowadays, if I turn on the TV on saturday morning, I find myself bombarded with anime and americanime, where every cartoon has fifteen year old heroes with special powers and martial arts moves. And I refer to anime as cartoons because I feel no need to differentiate, don't bother me with that argument because it is idiotic. Often when I read something written by a younger American, the main character has a Japanese name or swings a Katana (god how I hate katanas) or some such garbage like that. 

Largely this bothers me because I've seen a general trend over the years of people having less and less to be proud of about this country and its culture. People are turning to Japanese culture here, largely because our own is one of greed and practicality - looking out for number one and making money. And even though Japan is largely similar, the cultural differences catch the eyes of people who are fed up with our own culture (in a broad sense).

So there you go. If you write a story, movie, or make a game that is about Japan, use Japanese stuff. If it's about Germany, use German stuff. If it's about the year 12000 a.q. , then use your flippin' imagination. But please, lay off the damn katanas already. And say what you want, Samurai were only human. Goodnight.

UPDATE: I just found a sword that leaves giant kanji in the air when it swings in this Castlevania game. I know the company's Japanese, but if they really want to shove their goddamn country down peoples' throats that bad, they ought to start making games based in Japan... wait, they already do that. 

Another sleepless night. I don't know how I'm doing this. I used to get so tired when I'd had less than seven or eight hours of sleep more than one night in a row. I think I've had about twenty hours of sleep this week. But I'm awake, I'm lucid, even though its hard to breathe, and my eyebrows feel heavy. The lids are heavy, but it's more like they are bolted open.  This is the world I live in right now.

I ranted this morning. Just talking to myself and the dogs, I went on for three or four songs on my CD. I just talked about whatever I felt like talking about, loudly, and clearly. I said some profound things and some dumb things. I said 'concepts, guys, time is just a concept. Like numbers or art. It is a nonexistant classification for a nonexistant object, this question of 'when'. What is 'when?' We all obey this nonexistant concept, but no one can tell me what time is. Define it, but you will be wrong. Time is a system that is created for the sole purpose of serving itself, and in that respect it is beautiful.'

So tired. I find that I'm at my most creative when I'm worn out. If I'm awake, and alert, hell no. I'll stare at the keyboard. But I could write a sonnet right now without thinking about it. Oh the curse of lyrical sight, to see through the blackness and shadowless light, where the dawn comes to break the window aside, where the window is darkness and dawn is the light. Oh what a hero a man can be when with a videocamera does he take a pee, from a building's red rooftop so high and so fair, while a man far below gets urine-soaked hair. 

Metaphorically, the man's hair is a window. And the dawn is free falling urine from the sixtieth floor. Next question please.

Sometimes even your friends need to hear the truth. Sometimes it hurts, especially when you're like me and tend to be candid about it. But it is a very weak person who never gets hurt, or wails endlessly about a little pain. Pain makes you tougher, in small doses. Like a flu shot. It's a pity that telling the truth never gets any easier.